The Cupcake Method: How to prevent yourself from arguments in the workplace
Proper communication can help individuals avoid office politics by reducing the likelihood of misunderstandings and conflicts.
It is my personal experience and belief that good communication skills can help individuals navigate sensitive or difficult conversations, such as discussing performance issues or addressing conflicts with colleagues.
This can help to create a more positive and productive work environment, where individuals can focus on achieving their goals rather than getting caught up in office politics.
The Cupcake Method
The "Cupcake Method" is a technique for handling difficult conversations that involves using a metaphor of a cupcake to understand and approach the situation.
The metaphor suggests that the "frosting" represents the surface level issues or complaints and the "cake" represents the underlying concerns or emotions.
The idea behind this method is to address the surface level issues (frosting) while also digging deeper to understand and address the underlying concerns (cake).
To use the Cupcake Method in an argument:
By using the Cupcake Method, you can approach an argument in a more constructive and solution-focused way, rather than getting caught up in the surface level complaints. This can help to build understanding, reduce tension, and find a mutually beneficial solution.
Win by losing arguments
People naturally tend to form groups, and the office is no exception. It's important to remember that just because you're in a professional setting, it doesn't mean that people's natural tendencies to form groups disappear.
This means that if your opinions on a certain subject don't align with the dominant group in your workplace, you may be met with resistance or even hostility. Winning by losing an argument means being able to navigate a disagreement in a way that allows you to achieve your goals and maintain a positive relationship with the other person, even if you don't get your way.
领英推荐
Avoid personal attacks
During heated arguments, it's all too common for people to resort to personal attacks in an attempt to gain the upper hand. This may involve attacking the other person emotionally, or using hurtful language to exploit their vulnerabilities, such as their weaknesses, insecurities, or social status. This kind of behavior is not only unproductive, but it can also cause lasting damage to the relationship. Personal attacks are not only ineffective in resolving the disagreement, but they also distract from the main issue at hand and make it harder to find a solution.
Believe that people are ‘sensitive’
When others feel respected and valued, they are more likely to be cooperative and productive, which can lead to a more efficient and effective work environment. Additionally, being considerate can help to build trust and credibility, which can be beneficial for both personal and professional advancement.
It's important to note that showing understanding doesn't necessarily mean you need to agree with the other person's sentiment but by validating them and showing empathy, you're showing them that you understand their point of view and that's what's important.
Nothing too serious
Why take life too seriously? Nobody gets out alive anyway! But in all seriousness (or lack thereof), there's nothing more important than keeping your noggin in tip-top shape. Who cares if someone doesn't have all the facts or if they're talking out of their hat? As long as they're not hurting anyone, let them babble away to their heart's content! So let's all take a cue from the great philosopher Ferris Bueller and "stop and look around once in a while, you know, step back from the grindstone and take a leisurely stroll around the block."
Be a ‘stoic’ when it comes to personal relationships inside office
The Stoic philosophy teaches us that true wisdom lies in understanding the difference between what we can control and what we cannot. In the office, this means approaching personal relationships with colleagues with a sense of emotional detachment and rationality. By taking a step back and observing situations objectively, rather than getting caught up in emotions, we can maintain a sense of perspective and not get bogged down by small details or minor conflicts.
Use self-deprecating humor
Using self-deprecating humor in the office can be an effective way to win arguments and make new friends. After all, it's hard to stay mad at someone who's willing to make fun of themselves in the name of good ol' fashioned office politics. Plus, it's a great way to show that you're confident in your views, but also humble enough to admit when you might be wrong. Who knows, you might even end up winning the argument and getting a new buddy in the process!
Ask for a ‘coffee break’
When the heat of the argument is getting too hot to handle, call for a coffee break! It's a chance to cool down, reflect on the situation, and come back ready to negotiate like a pro. Plus, it's a sign of maturity and professionalism. Just make sure to consider the timing and context of the argument before taking a sip.
When you come back to the argument, it's important to address any unresolved issues and work towards finding a resolution.