A Cup of Advices for Growing Up

A while ago, I was asked to write an article about growing up, and sharing a few pieces of advice for youngsters.

Leadership, workplace wellness, and timelines were the subjects. Now it’s written.

It can be challenging to navigate through your teens and twenties. My friend Abigail Hannah sings in her beautiful song Eighteen: “You’re a grown up, but you’ve not grown up yet”.?

Spot on she is with those lyrics.?

Reflecting on growing up, those are the advices I would give my younger self.

Stop rushing - you will make it eventually

When you rush to achieve your goals, you might miss opportunities in disguise.

We see them in the feed all the time. We hear about them all the time. We have our own expectations for those. I am talking of course about timelines. Those saying we need to have everything settled before a certain age. Our university degrees, 10 years of work experience, visit 100 different countries, purchase your first house, start a family, you know what I mean? If I could talk to my younger self now, I would say: there is NO NEED to rush to reach those so-called deadlines set in silly timelines. That’s what it is: made-up timelines, and nothing else. Set goals for yourself, have dreams you’d like to achieve, and , but don’t put your entire focus on achieving them as soon as possible. When you rush to achieve your goals, you might miss opportunities in disguise. If you don’t enjoy most of the process, or if it's draining you of energy, what’s the point of sticking to this path? Sometimes, plans do not go as expected. You might have to adjust your plans in order to achieve them. And perhaps the new outcome can end up as an even better one than your original plan?

Don’t remain stuck in environments that prevent your personal growth and damage your wellbeing - be a leader!

Most of us experience this at some point in life. We no longer enjoy things as they are. Perhaps you no longer enjoy your current job, and feel depressed? You might have realized this is not a career path you’d like to continue in for the rest of your professional life. You might have been unlucky, or spent too much time with people that don’t support your personal growth and wellness. And guess what: it doesn’t have to be this way! Everybody has a responsibility to create environments where everyone feels seen, valued and encouraged. You can contribute to this.

We can all be leaders.

If people genuinely wish to see you succeed, you’ll gain respect and responsibilities from doing so. If not, would you like to remain there? Leadership is needed at any stage of life. Leaders that see EVERY INDIVIDUAL in the room. Leaders that include everyone, treat others with respect, support you when it's needed, and continuously look for ways to innovate and grow. We can all be leaders. And sometimes, the best decision a leader can make is to leave environments where few leadership skills are present. Eventually, you will find a new environment where you are truly valued.

School teaches you quite a lot - but it does not necessarily teach the recipe of life that works for YOU

By all means, school is important for many. And I do respect the many well-meaning teachers that put a tremendous effort into helping students. However, a black-white approach, inside-the-box-thinking way of teaching, and punishing those asking questions during classes (a destructive pattern for curious souls that can be carried on even at University…), will lead to students feeling left-out. People learn differently, and there is no “one size fits all” for learning. In my native Norway, the current drop-out rate from Upper Secondary School is 30 % of all the students. A societal problem that I am working to solve. Does this mean that those dropouts are all “losers” in society? DEFINITELY NOT. I have talked to quite a few dropouts, and I never stop being surprised about how reflective they are. It’s more that they never fitted into the school system. I achieved passing grades myself, but was never a straight A-student in Upper Secondary School. If I would give one advice to my younger self, it would be this one: You are NOT your final grade. Your personal character, work ethics, respectful behavior towards others, and your ability to learn and grow from experiences and observations, is what truly matters. In a society that’s never been as diverse as it is now, how can you expect that every student will be just another brick in the wall?

“We learned more from a three-minute record than we ever learned from school”

Different people learn and grow at various pace, and what works for one will not work for another one. To give you an example, I never learned much English from the school bench. I learned the language from listening to rock music, watching British and Irish TV series, and picking up jargon and expressions from countless conversations during my pub visits living in Ireland. That’s what worked for me. Bruce Springsteen sings it brilliantly in his song No Surrender from his timeless Born in the U.S.A. album: “We learned more from a three-minute record than we ever learned from school”. When it comes to my English skills, this is most certainly the case for me.

Follow your interests to find your way, try, fail, learn, grow, and you’ll eventually lead yourself onwards to where you want.