Culture is the average of your norms

At home, at work, or wherever you are, the community you belong to reflects the sum of its behavioral norms. Data supports this idea. Children who see their parents work out are more likely to stay fit. Children who see their parents read are more likely to read. Children who see their parents write are more likely to write. Children raised by angry parents are more likely to be angry. Emotional Contagion research shows that kids mimic anger or frustration when in a charged environment. Similarly, Social Learning Theory suggests children learn behavior—including emotions—from their parents.

None of this is surprising. We know behavior is an effective teacher, shaping environments. Culture, in turn, is the average sum of an environment’s behaviors, reinforcing those same behaviors. Over time, this reinforced behavior solidifies into shared assumptions about the right and wrong ways to engage, further shaping the environment.

When it comes to culture, psychological safety is essential for productivity and well-being. In workplaces (and likely in homes), environments where people feel safe to take risks and express themselves without fear of being laughed at or punished lead to better performance and more innovation.

Here’s how I’ve responded to different cultures throughout my life:

? The home I grew up in was consistently calm, and mistakes were never emphasized or called mistakes. Heads seldom rolled. We weren’t hit, told we were stupid or wrong, and if milk spilled, nobody cared. We were praised for helping the community and treating people kindly. We were taught to be gentle to animals. The primary focus was on developing our independence and moral compasses. We were trusted. This culture was psychologically safe and had a massive impact on my life.

? The company I co-founded values autonomy and creativity. It thrives on creativity, and its psychological safety fosters innovation and trust. As a leadership team, we hold each other accountable without taking things personally.

? The Boston Marathon bombing was a traumatic experience. I was there on the day of the bombing and lived just a block away from the bombers. It was terrifying, and I found it difficult to be productive in writing my master’s thesis during those weeks because the surrounding culture was filled with fear.

? During my time in Iraq in a period of unrest, I experienced a culture of fear and mistrust. Car bombs, kidnappings, and violence were common. I trusted no one outside of my immediate family. Although I was there for work, I could not even trust the person responsible for transporting me, fearing they might kidnap me. As a result, I moved around minimally and performed my job at the most basic, viable level.

My examples illustrate that sometimes you are accountable for culture, and other times you are forced to respond to it. You contribute to—and respond to—culture. At home, at school, and at work, what is your role? What kind of culture do you develop and contribute to?

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