"A Culture of Authentic Communication”
You stroll into a retail store like you've done 1,000 times over and again. That simple question, asked every time rings out like an unwanted rooster call in the early hours of the new born day," do you need help?" logically, the answer is yes, however what unravels next isn't logical at all, it's human, "no" is your reply. Right away, like clockwork almost as a reflex your answer shuts this poor new hire down.
How many times has this happened? Can you relate? Logically, you needed assistance, I mean you didn't know where in the store to go. After all, you’re in a rush and need to purchase quickly, so why say "NO"? The answer is profoundly simple, it's how our brain works. This person is a stranger and without trust there’s only instinct, that pesky reptilian brain, damn him. By asking you a question without having earned your trust the store associate is left to deal with your instincts and they are as follows fight, flight or freeze. This time your chose "flight”, by saying "no" a few million years of evolution controlled the outcome not you, this may pose a few questions about free will, but we can discuss that in another time and place.
Now If all that has been stated is proven true then what's the alternative? Well, there are two; the response you may have chosen is now being aware of yourself. Granting you power and free will over the improper approach of your counterpart, the associate. Simply by saying yes you could have taken advantage of the help, but only though understanding our biology as human being's may we rise above instinct and become emotionally intelligent enough to do so. This is a preferable outcome, but we will cover this in another time and topic of emotional intelligence, so back to "the sales person".
An alternative approach may look as follows and its goal is to subdue your instincts and establish a greater level of trust. This enables the customer to sub consciously and consciously help you decide to listen and work with him. They simply "sell with their brain not their ego".
Here is an example. You walk into the same store, same scenario not knowing where to go and in short of time. Now this time is different. You hear "Hello, good day sir. Welcome! "Slowing walking toward your proximity is a smiling, upward postured sales associate, close enough to talk, but far enough to keep your comfort. They say, "hello I'm Jay I'm new here and I know the store has so much, are you looking for X or is Y more to your liking?" "Maybe I can save you some time!" Now you hear this and feel good… unsure of why, but you think to yourself "why is this guy so happy", " I don't know why but I like him". Or any range of positive thoughts run through your mind because he approached properly to agree with your biology. Your three brains all interconnected and evolved to protect who you are. Now you respond, "yes, I'm actually looking for X, I don't know where to go and I'm pressed for time. "The sales associate, great follow me”! – Jay Doran