The Culture of Approval-Seeking and Its Transformation in Bangladesh’s Societal Landscape

Cultural norms and societal expectations are powerful forces that shape human behaviour, particularly the pursuit of approval and validation. In societies where external validation is prioritized, individuals often feel compelled to conform to rigid standards of success, beauty, or lifestyle, even at the expense of their authentic selves. In Bangladesh, the past 16 years under a fascist government have significantly altered the culture of performance evaluation, fostering an environment where external validation has become a dominant force in people’s lives. This period has ingrained a culture of showmanship, where individuals are driven to seek approval by projecting an idealized version of themselves rather than embracing their authentic identities. The constant pressure to conform to constructed standards of success, beauty, and lifestyle has led to deep-rooted issues of self-esteem and self-worth.

As Bangladesh looks toward rebuilding and redefining its future, it is essential to address the negative impacts of this approval-seeking culture and cultivate a society where intrinsic self-worth takes precedence over external validation.

The Rise of the Show-Off Culture and the Need for External Validation

Over the last 16 years, the sociopolitical landscape in Bangladesh has shifted towards a system where performance is evaluated not based on merit or authenticity but on one's ability to demonstrate success outwardly. The fascist government cultivated a culture where individuals—whether in politics, business, or social life—had to showcase their achievements, wealth, and influence to gain favor and recognition. This has given rise to a show-off culture, where:

The Rise of Wealth-Based Status Symbols

Success was no longer judged by an individual's skills, hard work, or contributions to society. Instead, it became synonymous with owning luxury items, expensive properties, high-end cars, and extravagant lifestyles. Those who flaunted material wealth were perceived as more successful, regardless of how they acquired their assets. This created an illusion that personal worth was tied to outward displays of prosperity rather than internal growth, ethical achievements, or meaningful contributions.

Social Media and the Culture of Showmanship

With the rise of social media, materialism became even more entrenched. Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok were flooded with images of lavish vacations, designer clothing, expensive gadgets, and elite social gatherings. The digital space transformed into a battleground where individuals competed for likes, shares, and followers by showcasing their wealth, often curated to project an idealized version of their lives. This constant comparison fueled unrealistic expectations and pressured people to engage in excessive spending just to maintain a social image.

Political and Corporate Elites Setting the Trend

The political elite and business tycoons played a crucial role in reinforcing this materialistic mindset. Many in power amassed immense wealth through corruption, favoritism, and monopolistic control over industries. Their extravagant lifestyles were broadcasted openly, sending a message that success was measured by how much wealth one could accumulate and display. This further deepened the divide between the privileged and the common people, as many aspired to replicate these materialistic patterns, even if it meant taking unethical shortcuts.

The Shift from Meritocracy to Materialism

In workplaces, universities, and even government institutions, success was often associated with visible signs of wealth rather than competence or ethical leadership. Individuals who displayed financial prosperity—whether through luxury cars, designer suits, or expensive office décor—were more likely to be taken seriously, promoted, or given leadership roles. This discouraged genuine hard work and talent, as people sought shortcuts to wealth rather than focusing on skills, education, or innovation.

The Psychological Toll of Materialism

As people became more obsessed with external symbols of success, their intrinsic self-worth declined. Many fell into financial traps, taking on massive loans or engaging in unethical activities just to keep up with societal expectations. This resulted in emotional distress, anxiety, and dissatisfaction, as the pursuit of material wealth rarely led to long-term fulfillment. The need to constantly upgrade possessions to maintain status created an endless cycle of consumption, where happiness was always contingent on the next purchase.

The Erosion of Authentic Values

Traditionally, Bangladeshi society valued humility, honesty, and community-oriented success. However, the past 16 years saw a decline in these values as the obsession with wealth replaced them. Acts of service, intellectual growth, and meaningful contributions were overshadowed by an overwhelming focus on personal financial gain. The culture shifted from one that celebrated community well-being to one that prioritized individual material excess.

Superficial networking

Over the past 16 years in Bangladesh, superficial networking has increasingly taken precedence over meaningful relationships, fundamentally altering the way people interact both socially and professionally. In a society driven by approval-seeking behavior, connections were often formed not out of genuine mutual respect or shared values but rather as strategic tools for personal gain. Whether in politics, corporate environments, or social circles, relationships became transactional, focused on leveraging contacts for status, power, or financial opportunities rather than fostering authentic human bonds. Social events, business meetings, and even casual interactions were dominated by performative networking, where people prioritized associating with influential figures, boasting about connections, and maintaining appearances rather than developing deep, trust-based relationships. This culture discouraged sincerity and emotional vulnerability, leading to a lack of true companionship and support systems. Instead of meaningful friendships built on loyalty and understanding, people surrounded themselves with acquaintances who could enhance their public image or provide career advancements. Over time, this reliance on surface-level networking created an environment where individuals felt isolated despite being socially active, as their relationships lacked depth and emotional fulfillment. As Bangladesh moves forward, it is crucial to rebuild a culture that values authenticity over mere social positioning, fostering genuine relationships based on trust, shared purpose, and meaningful engagement.

Public displays of loyalty

Over the past 16 years in Bangladesh, public displays of loyalty became a crucial requirement for career advancement and social mobility, replacing merit, competence, and ethical values as the primary factors for success. In workplaces, government institutions, and even social circles, individuals were often expected to openly express allegiance to political leaders, influential figures, or dominant power structures to secure opportunities, promotions, or business advantages. Employees who praised their superiors publicly or aligned themselves with ruling elites found it easier to climb the professional ladder, while those who remained neutral or expressed independent opinions faced exclusion, stagnation, or even professional repercussions. In the corporate and business sectors, securing contracts, funding, or regulatory approvals often depended on an individual’s perceived loyalty rather than their skills or the quality of their work. Social media played a significant role in reinforcing this culture, where individuals frequently showcased their support through posts, comments, and participation in orchestrated campaigns, fearing backlash or lost opportunities if they remained silent. Over time, this expectation of public loyalty eroded genuine professional growth, discouraged critical thinking, and created an environment where people prioritized survival over integrity. To rebuild Bangladesh, it is essential to foster a culture where competence, ethical leadership, and independent thought are valued over performative allegiance.

The need for approval, whether from authority figures, peers, or society at large, became so ingrained that many individuals lost their sense of self. Success was no longer measured by personal fulfillment or genuine contributions but by how well one could portray themselves in alignment with societal expectations.

The Psychological Toll: Self-Esteem and Emotional Instability

Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan notes that an obsession with showing off can serve as a pathological defense mechanism, providing false comfort and leading to the development of a "false personality" that relies on constant external affirmation. Human beings are inherently social creatures who seek acceptance and belonging. However, when this need for social approval becomes excessive, it leads to an unhealthy dependence on external validation. The consequences include:

1. Fluctuations in Self-Esteem – People who derive their self-worth solely from others’ opinions experience a rollercoaster of emotions. Praise and recognition provide temporary highs, while criticism or lack of validation can result in self-doubt and depression.

2. Development of False Identities – To gain approval, individuals may craft an idealized version of themselves, which distances them from their true identities. Over time, this dissonance leads to emptiness and dissatisfaction.

3. Emotional Instability – Constantly seeking validation creates anxiety and stress, as individuals feel the need to maintain a certain image at all costs. This pressure can lead to burnout, insecurity, and even mental health disorders.

4. Loss of Individuality – The pressure to conform to societal norms diminishes individuality and creativity. Instead of exploring personal passions, people focus on achieving what is deemed "socially acceptable" or "desirable" by external standards.

During the last 16 years, this culture of dependency on external validation was weaponized by the ruling regime. By setting arbitrary and often unrealistic standards of success, the government ensured that individuals remained trapped in a cycle of performance and approval-seeking, preventing them from developing independent thought and confidence. This was particularly evident in workplaces, academia, and social circles, where people prioritized public perception over substantive contributions.

Restoring Intrinsic Self-Worth and Authenticity

As Bangladesh embarks on a journey of rebuilding, leaders and citizens must work together to counter the negative impacts of approval-seeking behavior. The focus must shift from external validation to intrinsic self-worth, where individuals recognize their value beyond societal recognition.

Cultivating a New Definition of Success

The definition of success must evolve from one based on material wealth and public recognition to one centered around personal growth, contribution to society, and ethical leadership. Media, educational institutions, and policymakers should actively promote narratives that celebrate authentic achievements rather than superficial displays.

Encouraging Self-Reflection and Mindfulness

Practices like self-reflection, mindfulness, and self-compassion can help individuals break free from the cycle of approval-seeking. By developing an internal sense of worth, people can learn to validate themselves rather than seeking external approval. Leaders, educators, and social influencers should encourage these practices at both personal and institutional levels.

Building Authentic Connections

Social relationships should be built on authenticity rather than on performance. Encouraging deeper, more meaningful connections will help individuals feel accepted for who they truly are rather than who they pretend to be. Communities, workplaces, and families must create environments where people feel safe expressing themselves without fear of judgment or rejection.

Promoting Independent Thought and Critical Thinking

One of the biggest casualties of the last 16 years has been the suppression of independent thinking. To rebuild Bangladesh, a culture of critical thinking must be nurtured, where individuals are encouraged to question, innovate, and express diverse perspectives without fear of reprisal. Schools, universities, and workplaces should emphasize intellectual freedom and independent decision-making.

Redefining Performance Evaluation in Institutions

Institutions, both in the public and private sectors, must redefine performance evaluation systems to focus on substance rather than optics. Employees, students, and professionals should be assessed based on their actual skills, contributions, and ethical standards rather than their ability to project an image of success.

Creating a Society That Values Integrity Over Image

Integrity and authenticity must become core values in Bangladeshi society. Leaders should lead by example, demonstrating that ethical behavior, honesty, and sincerity are more valuable than external displays of success. This shift will encourage individuals to prioritize personal fulfillment and societal contribution over superficial validation.

The past 16 years of fascist rule in Bangladesh have ingrained an approval-seeking culture that has eroded self-esteem and authentic self-expression. As the nation moves forward, it is crucial to break free from the shackles of external validation and cultivate a culture where individuals derive their worth from their intrinsic values, skills, and contributions.

Bangladesh can create a society where people feel confident in their true selves by encouraging self-reflection, independent thinking, and a new idea of success. This change is important for both personal happiness and the country's progress. A Bangladesh built on authenticity, integrity, and self-worth will be stronger, more resilient, and better equipped to face the challenges of the future.