Cultivating Mental Toughness and Personal Resilience

Four years ago I was introduced to meditation, it couldn’t have come at a more opportune time. I was working in a new high-pressure senior executive role, one of my daughters had just experienced a life-threatening trauma, and I was living thousands of miles from home in Australia, away from family and close friends (I’m from the UK). Up until this point, I always felt I could deal with the daily stresses. I thought going to the gym regularly, eating fairly healthy, and generally managing my alcohol consumption would be enough - but I was doing nothing to maintain my mental health. Thankfully I found meditation!

I now live in Singapore, working for Standard Chartered bank as the Group Chief Information Security Risk Officer (CISRO), a senior executive role that could be considered highly stressful given its nature. However, I’ve stuck with my daily mediation practice, I can honestly say I rarely get affected by stresses as I once did all those years ago and the benefits have been profound.

Just the other week, the bank asked me to share a little about my story and my regular practice of mediation. I delivered an online talk with a group of bank employees, we had over a hundred people at the live session and many more will be watching the recording (I will post here as soon as I get permission). It was a great opportunity to share more about what mediation is, the benefits, and how they themselves can meditate. We did run a short group meditation session at the end so all could experience it for themselves. The feedback has been amazing, and hope the recording inspires many more in the bank to meditate regularly.

What is Meditation?

Meditation is a skill, it takes consistent practice, like getting fit at the gym, you don’t get fit in ad-hoc sessions, it happens over time. When we meditate, we’re slowing down our brainwaves, and the frequency of our thoughts. Scientific studies have shown on average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those thousands of thoughts, 80% were negative, and 95% were exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before, this puts stress in the body. Sleep is the body’s natural way to relieve this stress, but our modern-day lives mean we have excess stress our bodies were never designed to handle, and it accumulates, causing mental and physical disease, which is why meditation is such a powerful tool.

Think of the mind as an ocean, when we are stressed, we are spending too much time on the surface, where it's easy to get buffeted around by the storms of life and get caught by some big waves. With meditation, you get taken to your deeper inner mind, much like the bottom of the ocean, where it is much calmer and less suspectable to choppy waters. Doing this on a regular basis sustains an ‘eyes open’ experience of deeper calm as you go about your day. The state of mindfulness is also cultivated - mindfulness is the ability to be present, fully engaged with whatever we’re doing in the moment. Not overthinking about the future, which can cause states of anxiety or dwelling too much on the past, which can induce states of depression.

There are many meditation techniques, the method I use is called the “being technique”, and my practice is called Vedic Meditation. The difference between my practice and many other forms of meditation is that we don’t have to actively halt our thinking, instead, we repeat a word softly, a mantra (which means ‘mind vehicle’) in our mind, and this settles our thoughts and provides a gentle focus. Sometimes your focus will wander or you’ll forget to follow the mantra, that’s OK, it’s part of the experience. What’s most important is to meditate consistently to get the real benefits, as you would going to the gym or any regular exercise. I practice for 20mins twice every day, one just after waking, and then again sometime during the afternoon. It's important to prioritize the time and be consistent.

Benefits of Meditation

The benefits of meditation are numerous and varied, and now supported by science, obvious ones include managing stress, reduce anxiety and depression. But there are now thousands of studies documenting a positive impact on numerous other aspects, such as; slowing the aging process by as much as 8 years, sharpening our attention span, reduction in aggressive tendencies, reduced bias, and one 20min session gives us the equivalent of two hours deep sleep. Although there are some side effects, you will feel things much more deeply; sadness, grief, frustrations, etc. but you feel them for a much shorter duration, letting go much more quickly, instead of them lasting for weeks, years, or even a lifetime. To some, this might seem like you don’t care, but all it fact means is your care very deeply at the time, but don’t hold on to sadness, hate, anger, etc. you can simply let go.

How to Meditate

To start, find a quiet place with minimal distractions. Sit comfortably in a chair, on a cushion, on the floor, or outdoors with your hands resting on your lap or on your knees.

With your eyes closed, check-in with your body: feel the weight of your arms and legs and head, noticing how your body feels where it touches the chair and your feet touch the ground. Now, check in with your senses: note any sensations or discomfort and whether you can smell, hear, or feel anything.

Now, bring your attention to your breath. Don’t alter or rush it, simply allow it to continue at its own pace and rhythm, and observe the rising and falling sensation that it creates in your body. Then simply follow the ebb and flow of your breath, in and out. You may notice your mind wandering off; don’t worry, that’s completely normal. After all, we don’t practice meditation to stop thoughts. Rather, we practice so we can learn how to become aware of thoughts and then let them go. You might want to set a timer, or perhaps set your goal for the number of breath cycles you will count. When you are finished, spend a minute or so afterward allowing your mind to adjust to a normal state.

Full Disclosure

I’m not a meditation teacher, but I’m always happy to meditate with fellow meditators and share my passion. To really learn the art and get all the benefits of meditation, do what I did, and found myself a teacher and community. The One Giant Mind community is a great place to start and there are now even options you can do online. Find out more here https://www.1giantmind.com/ or for a more personal recommendation, please feel free to reach out to my wife, Karen Argyle, she is a One Giant Mind mediation teacher, reach out to contact her here https://www.myndharmony.com/