Cultivating Courage in the Face of Fear

Courage. We either have it, or we don’t, right??

Maybe not. Courage can be learned. It’s a practice. Sometimes we get stuck because we are scared of change or what might happen. Underneath that there is a fear; a fear of getting hurt, a fear of not being liked, a fear of rejection. Fear is defined as “an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.”?

Fear is a normal human emotion. It’s one of our oldest emotions as a matter of fact. We still have the fight or flight survival instinct of our ancient predecessors. Our minds are predisposed to be fearful to protect our species. But in most circumstances, as real as the fear feels, it is not rational. Courage is strength in the face of our fears?

It’s action when our fear is crying for inaction. It’s forbearance in the face of the unknown.

What do we know about fear?

Fear is an automatic response

• When we have an experience that makes us afraid, we choose a response; to fight or to flee for example.While we process this in our brains chemical interactions take place and neural pathways form to record the response. Each subsequent time we face a similar fear, we continue to respond in the same way; strengthening the neural pathway. Eventually the response becomes automatic and subconscious.

Fear in one area of our life is often repeated as a pattern in other areas of our lives

• Fear is fear. Our brains can’t differentiate between the nuances of one situation over another. So often we find that if we have a fear in one area of our life it can show up in another. For example we may have a fear of being rejected. This may stop us from striving toward the next promotion or from saying No to our best friend, for fear of that same rejection.

Addressing Fear and Rewiring the Brain

• Each time we do something that we are afraid of, but come out the other side with a positive experience, the brain records that positive. This is why we become less afraid the more frequently we repeat the same action. I used to scuba dive. I had a fear of drowning, a feeling of claustrophobia. The first dive after each period of not diving was always incredibly stressful. My ears wouldn’t equalise and my air would get used up quickly. I knew it was an irrational fear. Once I used my breath to control my fear I was able to relax into the experience of underwater beauty. Each subsequent dive it was easier to equalise and my breathing efficiency improved!
• For example, in August I pushed myself to go climbing with my daughter. I relied on my mindfulness practice to stay focused on my breath and to stay present to what was going on in my immediate environment. And by immediate, I mean within a metre of me. I had to stay that focussed in order to command my fear.? I put my trust in the guide and the equipment. What was the worst that could happen? When I realized it was? falling 1 metre and then being stopped by the lead, I was able to set my fear aside and get on with the business of making memories with my daughter! It was hugely rewarding and I was really proud of myself.
• Looking to be courageous in your life?? Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?”, then think through the options and fully commit to going with the one you like the most.

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."

Mark Twain

Book of the month

How to Relax – Thich Nhat Hanh

Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, often referred to as the Father of Mindfulness, was a global spiritual leader, poet, and peace activist. He passed away in January 2022, but his many teachings remain with us. He believed that through mindfulness we can learn to live happily in the present moment. This pocket book focuses on how to achieve relaxation wherever you are.

Mindfulness Tip

We often think of mindfulness as breathing, but it’s fascinating to experience how other senses can bring us to the present moment. Try gently rubbing two fingers together with enough attention that you can feel the ridges of your fingerprints. At first it can be hard to notice them, but gradually they will become more obvious. The beauty of this technique is you can literally do it anywhere; even when you are in the midst of a challenging situation!

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