Cull The Herd

Some of the pushbacks I get from people when I suggest "culling the herd" from time to time (i.e. removing people from your network) revolves around a fear of missing out.

1. "What if that contact someday turns out to be something important for me? I might miss out if we're not connected."

2. "What if that contact ends up needing my product or service? If we aren't connected, they won't know to get it from me."

3. "What if that person needs my skillset at their company? If we're not connected, I might miss out on a great job opportunity."

Here's how I respond:

1. What are you doing right now to actively cultivate that connection into something more? That means putting in the effort to turn someday into something significant sometime soon. So what's your plan right now to grow this connection into a meaningful relationship? (Met with a nervous laugh followed by a blank stare - because that sounds like a lot of work.)

2. Think about how products or services you purchased in the last year. How many times did you go to LinkedIn first to search for that? And if you did, did one of your very best contacts who sell said product or service come up in your search? Probably not. Lest we forget you wouldn't have had to do that search had you been actively building relationships with the person who offers what you are looking for because they'd already be top of mind.

Contacts are just contacts until you make them into something more. Trust me, they aren't coming to LinkedIn to find you or to search for what you offer because you haven't built a strong enough relationship with them to be top of mind for them. (Usually met with a frown and a blank stare. Maybe a hit of anger. Yup, the truth hurts.)

3. There is no doubt that their company could benefit from hiring you. But I'd submit that a contact that doesn't really know you won't be searching for you (like ever!). The "magic job opportunity" will never materialize just because you are connected. The only way that happens is if you've invested time to get to know the person, build a relationship with them, and helped them know how awesome and skillful you are in your chosen profession. Have you done that? (Queue the blank stare with a slight bead of sweat forming on their brow.)

Here's the thing, you can't miss out on something you were never really invested in developing in the first place. That's the high watermark by which to measure whether a contact should stay in your network or not.

Are you committed to investing the time, energy, and focus to build that connection into something more? If your answer is yes, great. You don't have to prove it to me, you just have to prove it to yourself.

So what's the plan this week to start actually doing something on this front? (Cue the excuses - No time. Start next week. I'll definitely get around to it...I promise!)

So let's be honest for a change. If you aren't really committed to investing the time and the effort it takes to build a relationship with that LinkedIn contact, then disconnect from them. Just pull the band-aid off and be done with it. If that connection was meant to be, your paths will cross again.

Make the space they were taking up available for someone that really should be there. You know, that special someone you are truly committed to developing into something more.

Everyone else is just a distraction.

#rippleeffect #linkedin #network #connectionmatters #disconnect