Crying At Work – The Reasons Why

“The Tracks of My Tears” is a great song but it is debatable whether or not you should sing it at work.  Crying at work…is it a sign of healthy emotions or a sign of weakness? Crying at work is a complicated issue and one that can define the kind of workplace in which we operate.  Crying can also define who you are. Some women claim they will never ever ever never cry at work – it is a sign of weakness and plays into stereotypes. Some men believe an occasional tear at work will show empathy and humanity.  Both are probably right. But the subject is much more nuanced.

Depending on the source, the reasons that could make any of us cry at work are legion including:

• The printer died just when you needed it most for that presentation.
• You missed the FedEx guy by five minutes and now the proposal will be late.
• The Holiday Party is next Saturday and you have no date.
• The red licorice jar is empty and you were planning on that for lunch.
• The IT people are having an off site retreat on the day your laptop crashed.
• The annoying guy in the workspace next to you just got promoted and you know he is a dufus.
• Someone is reheating a burrito again and the office wreaks of bad food.
• The commute just got longer because of construction and now you have to leave your house an hour earlier than usual.
• Your best friend from work decided to quit to become a yoga instructor.
• The boss just announced it’s performance review time.
• The Principal from your child’s school called again and you have to pick him/her up to go home.
• Fill in the blank ________because you have your own reasons and you deserve every single one.

The workplace is part of life and emotions can run high.  Sometimes tears are unavoidable given the ebbs and flows of what happens at work.  Sometimes you bring tear worthy worries from outside of work and you can’t help but cry about them.  There can be tears of joy, tears of sorrow, tears of frustration and tears of pride. If you cry, it’s ok, we all do it and research says crying can be good for you.

Man or woman, sometimes a good cry is what is needed and you probably know what the tolerances are within your own organization.  In some places it could be a career-limiting event. In others, it might be a badge of empathy. I know people who scout out places to cry so that when a tear comes on, no one else will know.  (Don’t do all of our crying out front with the smokers, crying and smoking is a very bad workplace combination.) Better to find a good safe private place to cry.

All things considered, at work it’s better not to be known as the crier.  But if the tears flow every day, it may be time to look for another job.

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Richard is the author of the new book The Thing About Work: Showing Up and Other Important Matters [A Worker’s Manual]. You can follow his writing on Twitter, Facebook, or at his website at richardmoran.com.

Richard is a noted San Francisco based business leader, workplace pundit, bestselling author and venture capitalist.