CRYING: Three Reasons It's the Sign of a Great Program

When Tears Show a Great Program

March Madness is one of the great sports spectacles, partly because of the emotion coaches and players display as it all plays out. In March 2014, Arizona guard TJ McConnell fouled out of the Elite Eight. As he left the court, he hugged his coaches and cried. My heart ached for him—and I was happy for him.

I remember that feeling. My high school basketball career ended in a regional championship in 1996. I cried—not because we lost, but because the journey was over. I loved the game, my teammates, my coach. During my 20 years as a coach, I continued to cry at the end of each season. The best part: my players cried with me.

Why? Because they cared. Because they were part of something bigger than themselves. Because we built something worth crying over.?

Crying is a Sign of a Good Program

?? FREEDOM – David Duchovny said it best in his incredible article, ‘What a Good Coach Does.’ ‘A good coach gives you the freedom to care so much you cry when it is over.’ Tears show vulnerability, and vulnerability comes with freedom. Great coaches create environments where athletes can give everything they have—so much that it hurts when it ends.?

?? IT MATTERED – We all long to be part of something meaningful. A season is a shared pursuit of a goal against constant opposition. When it's real, it’s magical. And when it’s over, it stings.

?? BIGGER THAN US – Alan Noble in ‘We Are Not Our Own’ speaks to how flawed it is to live life for only ourselves. A life lived well, a season participated well, will always be about something more significant than the individual. The best teams aren’t about individual success. They’re about commitment to each other, the team, and a cause beyond oneself. That’s why it’s so painful when the journey ends—it was never just about the game.

So next time you see an athlete hugging their coach in tears, don’t pity them. Don’t downplay the moment. Instead, recognize it for what it is: the mark of a great program.

"There can be no great disappointment where there is not great love." – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Keep on, keepin’ on!?