That crushing feeling when lockdown is extended and what you can do about it

Moments ago, Singapore announced an extension to the "circuit breaker" (lockdown) to June 1st and I'm absolutely gutted. We've only been under lockdown since April 7 and the circuit breaker was meant to be potentially eased on May 4th. The explosion of cases in migrant worker dorms over the last week and a half put the breaks on any fantasies of easing restrictions in early May.

At this moment in time, as I write these words, it's a crushing feeling knowing we're going to be locked down for another 39 days. The rational side of my brain is saying, "Good, this needs to happen and the virus must be brought under control," while the other side is screaming obscenities and shouting, "What? No! No, no, no, no. Another 39 days? How the hell am I going to cope with this? How's my kid going to cope? Will my Xbox be able to handle the strain!? Get. ME. OUTSIDE. NOW!"

This is what it must have felt like for millions of Chinese, Italians and Spanish as they endured -- and continue to endure in many cases -- what must feel like endless days at home, worried for their health and longing to do anything that just feels... normal again.

I've written about coming to terms with "the new normal" and how December 2019 feels like it was years ago, but it's one thing to write about it and quite another to feel it in my gut.

From my perch

We have a pool view from our place, which is nice, but right now it's torture.

Yes, I know, we're lucky to have that pool and view, even if we can't use it. We don't live in a cage home in Hong Kong, a migrant workers dorm room with multiple other people, or in a refugee camp. At the moment we're not worried about how we're going to feed ourselves, or having to line up in breadlines. We've got a spacious apartment, can walk to the store, and have quiet neighbors. We're lucky.

As a writer delivering biweekly updates on COVID-19-related news, I mostly share my professional experience, insights on what's happening in the world along with a smattering of parenting. I'm a stranger to you, known through words transmitted across great, or short, distances across the Internet. I'm not a YouTuber asking you to "Smash that subscribe button guys!" We're not doing Zoom calls together, at least not yet. Give it time.

So bear with me for a moment while I get real deep here.

I've had an eye infection and could barely look at a computer screen the last few days. My job is dependent on staring at my laptop for 8-10 hours a day. My 5-year-old daughter just asked me to play with her. When I told her I have to finish writing this, she cried and it broke my heart a little. Two old folks homes in my hometown where my 96-year-old grandmother lives are getting hit with Covid-19 infections, and I am worried for her. I am reporting on COVID-19, but like you, I’m living with it, too

A shared experience

I've read, and I know you've at some point read about the shared experience humanity is having with the coronavirus pandemic. No offense, but I don't want to share this experience with anybody, because I don’t want to have it at all. I'd rather be at that pool downstairs with my daughter and wife, going into the office and having in-person discussions about work with my lovely colleagues.

I hate this pandemic and the "new normal" we're in right now. It sucks. It's terrible and ah damnit we've got months or years of this to go?

That's what the news of the extended "circuit breaker" did to my head today, it snapped a little something in there that basically allowed me to get angry, upset, lose my cool and for lack of a better description, act human and just plainly embrace the fact we're going through an utterly shitty period of time in history, no matter how many video games we're getting to play or online learning courses we're able to take right now.

And my gamble, my bet here is you've either had that moment, are going through it, or will have it at some point in the future.

So now what?

What matters most is what you do when and as that moment happens to you. I get the feeling, that itch, that urge to regain a sense of control. The anxiety that comes along with it is noticeable and distinct. There's a reason why mental health professionals exist, and they've been coming up with some great coping mechanisms to help when you've hit a wall.

For me, this newsletter--and talking to you readers--helps. It turns my raw emotion into something productive and transforms my selfish angst into work. The larger situation is out of my control and this is my way of dealing with it and connecting. Your way will be different, but it's important to figure it out.

It's OK to 'freak'

Ellevest CEO Sallie Krawcheck recently said on LinkedIn, "What I would suggest you try to do is give yourself the time and the space to be nervous, uncertain and scared, and look at the news obsessively that you know you're not supposed to."

Couldn't agree more.

I've had my freak out moment, but I've harnessed my anxiety about being locked down for an additional 39 days (still ugh) by trying to tap into creativity and hope you'll be able to find your way right along with me.

Maybe we're a little more connected now as well.

What are some of the ways you've found to help cope with bad news and momentary breaking points? What's your story? We all want to hear them.

Next time...

How to deal with getting fired and what to say about it when looking for your next job during this crisis + more curated insights on the big topics.