CRITICISM, A BLESSING IN DISGUISE

I consider myself an over-achiever. I do my homework, know my subject pretty well and put in the time, energy and money to get good at what I do so I can help people live a happier and more successful life. It’s my mission. It’s what fuels me. It’s my life.

You can probably guess that with all the work that I have put in, when someone used to give me feedback, I would have an initial “reaction” to it. Not because I did not value their opinion, or their inputs, I just really knew I had the answers. And I have to admit, a lot of the times I did.

I discuss a lot of my new studies, insights, and tips with my father. Being my father, he obviously doesn’t feel the need to sandwich the feedback  so he tells me everything that he thinks needs to be corrected, edited and changed. Now obviously I trust his experience, his competence and his intent and still I’ve had my moments with him! You know what I mean. I took it personally!

Over the years, I have recognised how valuable feedback can be in terms of accelerating our growth. Professional and personal. While we can tend to feel a little defensive and protective, even hurt when someone criticises us, the truth is criticism can be an attack or asset depending on how you choose to look at it.

I want to share with you some new perspectives I have gained on dealing with criticism in a way that it serves me. I hope it serves you!

CHANGE THE WORD CRITICISM TO FEEDBACK

Words have the power to impact our biochemistry significantly, simply put, our emotions. A little change in words can change how you feel about it. Say criticism and then say feedback out loud right now. The two words feel completely different and so our response to them is very different.

We respond more defensively to criticism in the need to protect ourselves, and more openly to feedback in the need to improve ourselves. While protection or improvement is a choice you will make, I personally feel the more I improve and grow the better I can protect myself and those I love and care about

IS THERE ANY TRUTH TO WHAT IS BEING SAID

If the feedback being given is useful, and you can benefit from it, take it and thank them.

MANAGE YOUR FOCUS

There will always be people who will appreciate you and give you constructive feedback, and ones who you will judge you for reasons you may not understand and appreciate.

You can choose to focus on ones who appreciate you or ones who judge you. When someone judges me for a reason I don’t understand, I shift my focus to all things that are my blessings and my passion. I also remind myself of my bigger purpose so I don’t get caught up in the little things in life, that honestly won’t matter long term.

IS IT SOMETHING YOU USED TO DO IN THE PAST AND HAVE RECENTLY CHANGED

Sometimes we change and we are in lag time. So it takes time for the environment around us to notice it and start acknowledging it. I feel any change is first noticed by you, then your closest friends, then by the world, then by family and then by relatives  Be patient, stay true to your identity and allow time for the environment to reflect the change in you.