A crisis of my own making | Part 2
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HOW BLIND SPOTS KEEP US STUCK AND HOW COACHING CAN HELP – PART 2
This is part 2 of the series A crisis of my own making (how blind spots keep us stuck and how coaching can help).?I briefly mentioned how coaching is very beneficial to someone in crisis like this, because:
1.????It raises self-awareness (how did we get to this point??How did I contribute to my own crisis?)
2.????It increases self-efficacy (OK, now that we understand what’s going on, what can I do??What’s my plan?)
3.????It provides a safe space to test ideas (Let’s take a critical look at this plan… what are we missing?)
4.????It provides accountability (Ok, so what’s stopping me from moving forward?)
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This article will focus on these aspects with a particular point in mind.?We frequently get stuck in situations that don’t work for us, because we assume limited options in our thinking.
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THE OVERUSE OF OUR STRENGTHS CAN BE LIMITING!
I already mentioned how the overuse of our strengths can keep us stuck in a crisis.?However, the overuse of our strengths has a deeper, more unsettling, aspect.?Our strengths frame reality in a certain way.?They determine what is possible (for me!), and what is not possible (again, for me!).?
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Building on the career crisis I experienced in part 1.?I had a few conversations with trusted friends and discussed my plight with them.?Luckily, one of my friends did not just empathise and joined my rant.?He rather took a coaching stance.?He listened well, and then, from a kind vantage point remarked something which redirected my entire approach.?His remark, slightly paraphrased, was – “Jan, I feel for you.?However, have you noticed that you are still talking about your problem as if it is you that need to fix everything??I am picking up that you are still taking responsibility for this.?Is that realistic?”
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This single remark and follow-up questions struck me and brought me to a standstill.?Wow!?WOW!?It all became comically clear!?My strongest habits and strengths are to solve problems, address issues in a creative and positive way, and take decisive action!?All of these are wonderful…?But they framed (and therefore limited) my response!?I never actually considered distancing myself, taking stock, and leaving the situation.?Resignation and moving on never even crossed my mind!?I limited my thinking without even realising it, and I needed an intelligent coach to point out that there were other options available to me that I just plainly never considered.?Why??Because they are excluded by my own behavioural profile.
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WHY COACHING WAS SO HELPFUL
A well-placed question asked in kindness by your coach, can suddenly make many more options available to your conscious awareness!?It happens to everyone.?We frame reality and what is “possible” according to our own strengths, profile, and experience.?However, we exclude options without realising it.
Written by?Jan Niemand?| PhD, World Association of Business Coaches - RCCTM?& CBCTM