A Crisis of Male Isolation

Men, we Need You.

If you're a man reading this, consider:

• Where do you find genuine brotherhood in your life?
• Who holds you accountable to your highest self?
• What communities support your growth?

It's time we rebuild the bridges of authentic male connection and support the development of men who can meet the challenges of our time with wisdom, integrity, and presence.

Why?

• According to the CDC, men account for 80% of all deaths by suicide in the United States
• Men are 4x more likely to die by suicide than women (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention)
• Only 31% of men with daily feelings of anxiety or depression seek help (CDC, 2023)
• Men are significantly less likely to seek therapy - only 9% of men have consulted a mental health professional (National Institute of Mental Health)

• 63% of men over 45 report experiencing "frequent" or "chronic" loneliness (American Journal of Men's Health)
• Young men aged 18-24 report higher levels of loneliness than any other age group, with 73% reporting feeling lonely "sometimes" or "often" (YouGov, 2023)
• 85% of men say they have "few" or "no" close friends", up from 55% in 1990 (Survey Center on American Life)
• The average man hasn't made a new friend in the past 5 years (Study by OnePoll/Miller Lite)
• 15% of men say they have no close friends at all, up from 3% in 1990 (American Survey Center)

• 79% of men report feeling lonely at work despite being in an office environment (Cigna Loneliness Index)
• 68% of male professionals say they have no meaningful friendships with coworkers outside of work (Harvard Business Review)
• Remote work has increased reported loneliness among men by 47% since 2019 (Buffer State of Remote Work)

• Lonely men have a 32% higher risk of stroke and 29% higher risk of heart disease (British Journal of Medicine)
• Loneliness has the same impact on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day (HRSA)
• Men are twice as likely to suffer from substance use disorders compared to women (SAMHSA)
• 65% of men say they primarily rely on their romantic partner for emotional support (Journal of Social and Personal Relationships)
• Divorced men are 8x more likely to commit suicide than divorced women (Social Science and Medicine)

• Men spend an average of 8.5 hours per day looking at screens outside of work (Nielsen)
• 62% of men report using video games as their primary form of social interaction (Entertainment Software Association)
• Men are 3x more likely than women to use digital entertainment as a coping mechanism for loneliness (Digital Media Psychology Journal)

• 72% of male professionals report putting work ahead of personal relationships (Deloitte Workplace Survey)
• Men who report chronic loneliness are 37% more likely to experience workplace burnout (Gallup)
• Isolated men are 2.5x more likely to engage in workaholism behaviors (Journal of Occupational Health Psychology)
• The American Journal of Men's Health reports that male loneliness increases with age, with up to 63% of men over 45 experiencing chronic loneliness.

This is New for Us as Men. Very New.

It wasn't always this way. Our ancestors understood something we've forgotten: men thrive in authentic collaboration with other men. Throughout history, men worked together in ways that built deep bonds and shared purpose:

• Hunting Parties: Small groups would spend days tracking game, requiring intense cooperation, nonverbal communication, and trust in each other's capabilities. These expeditions weren't just about food – they were about teaching younger men survival skills, reading nature, and working as a cohesive unit.
• Maritime Crews: Sailing vessels required intense teamwork, with men living in close quarters for months, depending on each other for survival. Every role, from navigator to deck hand, was essential to the collective success.
• Craftsman Guilds: Medieval and Renaissance guilds created multi-generational bonds between masters, journeymen, and apprentices. These weren't just workplace relationships – they were lifelong mentorships where craft, character, and wisdom were passed down.
• Agricultural Communities: Farming communities shared labor intensively – from barn-raising to harvest gathering. These weren't just occasional events but regular rhythms of life that created strong social bonds and mutual dependency.
• Military Units: Throughout history, military service created brotherhood through shared challenge, risk, and interdependence. Modern veterans often report missing this deep camaraderie more than any other aspect of service.

Will You, my Brother, Play the Game of Thrones?

While modern workplaces tout "team collaboration," many men find themselves in silos, competing rather than connecting.

A 2021 Cigna study found that 79% of men in professional settings report feeling lonely at work, despite being surrounded by colleagues.

I've done People and Culture work for 20 years now. I have seen workplaces grow in the wrong ways:

• Cutthroat competition over genuine cooperation
• Political maneuvering instead of authentic support
• Surface-level networking rather than deep brotherhood
• Individual achievement at the expense of collective growth

So, How Do We Cope?

We miss our brothers. We miss our friends. The women in our life will struggle to support our efforts to find and be with other men, as little boys leading little boys leads to male retreats that are not healing or about growth, but instead about further escape or delving into ecstatic experiences, which can threaten the relationship. As men, we don't know how to cope, so we escape. Escapism through excessive gaming or social media, substance abuse and addiction (men are twice as likely to suffer from substance use disorders), workaholism as a substitute for meaningful connection, compulsive behaviors (gambling, excessive spending, pornography) or just emotional unavailability in relationships. And, we experience chronic stress and anxiety, and as a whole, are unwilling to seek help or get support.

The Role of Women in Men's Growth

Women have been begging for men to rise into our truest, wise power. The marrow of their bones remembers men like this... men of great integrity, vision, and accountability. While our partners often recognize our need for growth, pushing men toward development through spousal pressure alone rarely succeeds. When wives urge their husbands toward greater emotional maturity and presence, many men become defensive or dismissive, retreat further into isolation, or worse - react with hostility or disrespect (stop being a b_tch). They miss this beautiful and heartfelt underlying message of love and concern. This isn't because women's insight is wrong – it's because men need other men to facilitate this growth.

The Power of Male Mentorship

True masculine development requires the guidance and challenge of other mature men. In traditional societies, elders and mentors played crucial roles in:

• Initiating younger men into mature masculinity
• Providing accountability for behavior and choices
• Offering wisdom from lived experience
• Creating safe spaces for vulnerability and growth
• Modeling integrated strength and emotional intelligence

The Path Forward

The solution lies in recreating intentional male communities. As men, we need one another. We need a safe space where we can be authentically seen and heard. We need men who can hold us accountable - with compassion. We NEED the wisdom of the men who have gone before us. We need places where integrity and character matter more than status. I can sit in the fire with a CEO or Business owner worth 50x what I am worth, but I've done my work, so my wealth is immeasurable. We need strength and vulnerability mirrored as the way to be whole and complete.

This isn't about excluding women or perpetuating outdated masculinity. It's about creating the conditions where men can develop into their fullest selves – partners capable of deep intimacy, leaders guided by integrity, and humans connected to their full range of emotions and potential.

Men, we Need You.

If you're a man reading this, consider:

• Where do you find genuine brotherhood in your life?
• Who holds you accountable to your highest self?
• What communities support your growth?

The journey toward mature masculinity isn't meant to be walked alone. It's time we rebuild the bridges of authentic male connection and support the development of men who can meet the challenges of our time with wisdom, integrity, and presence.

As always, I am here to help. Schedule time with me if you want to talk.

https://calendly.com/ryanpride

Cheers,

Dr. Ryan Pride

Men's Coach

Culture Change Expert for Companies