Crisis to Courage 4Men - Male combat vets should know how premilitary trauma impacts them

This first edition of the Crisis to Courage 4Men LI newsletter is dedicated to all the incredibly brave combat veterans and men in general, who have shared their unique trauma stories, which had long been buried. Through transparent conversation, mutual respect, a few tears along the way, and laughter amidst messiness, miraculous healing and wholeness has renewed hope for many.

You have taught me much, and I am extremely grateful for your lives. ?

Soldier: Your real battle began in childhood, but was suppressed in war, until being exposed by honest reflection and enough time. – Karen Bontrager

For years, I have been on a fervent quest to better understand why traditional modes of addressing trauma simply do not work with male combat veterans. Even those seemingly happy and outwardly successful, often wear a thin veneer of shame which is easily exposed with a mature lens. ?

After intensely studying the topic, coupled with counseling/coaching 10+ years as a licensed therapist, pastoral counselor, (TBRI) Trust-Based Relationship Intervention Practitioner, and an ICF ACC Relationship Coach, I have humbly learned a bit about this often, unknown phenomenon. ?

The Influence of Premilitary Trauma

First, let’s discuss the traditional approach, which is mainly talk therapy minus any physical activity and heavy pharmacological intervention, which ignores pre-military trauma and its significant contribution of incurring great distress upon these heroes after active duty.

What is the rationale? I am glad you asked.

Repeatedly, I have seen my male soldier/guy clients be virtually unable to connect their negative coping patterns such as: excessive anger, isolation, numbing, or even predatory behaviors to past trauma. In fact, many in the beginning argued vehemently they did not need a program which addresses these “issues unnecessarily.”

However, after working past messy truths of devastating and abusive experiences long buried, they finally learn to connect the dots per say working past the shame and discovering real healing. Having this self-awareness has proved most effective in reviving hope with these men. ??

(Similarly, there are guys, who ignore these past wounds at all costs; causing irrefutable damage in their lives; even death via suicide and other means; leaving those women and children they love groping for unexplainable answers, which is grievous to my very soul). ?

Deep Trauma Healing ??????

Only when these powerful connections are consciously made through patient support from a professionally trained trauma-informed practitioner, does the veteran experience wholeness they had prior to traumatic episodes in childhood. Therefore, it is fundamentally important to help these soldiers/veterans see how premilitary trauma has impacted them, so they can truly be healed. ?

What We Do

Crisis To Courage 4Men provides targeted trauma-focused coaching and pastoral counseling services to 16-24-year-olds and 25+ fellas, still stuck there due to trauma individually via phone coaching, and in person.

We specialize in helping male combat veterans, so they can use their voices in an appropriate way instead of turning to anger, isolation, numbing, and predatory behaviors by helping them understand their worth, developing an emotional vocabulary, and teaching them how to use it in a supportive man-honored atmosphere.

Once wounded men can boldly start pursuing a new mission after leaving military service. ??

No matter the problem, we are here to support you. The professionals at Crisis to Courage 4Men have a proven method that is highly effective for traumatized men.

We support you in healing from unresolved childhood traumas, including male sexual trauma, abandonment, neglect, and others which manifest themselves in relationship conflict, lack of commitment, and continuing patterns of abuse towards self and others.

The focus of the work is working with men struggling from PTS, moral injury, male sexual trauma, substance abuse, or who are depressed, anxious, and covertly suicidal. ???

STOP needlessly suffering today! For a complimentary session, please DM me with the words Crisis to Courage.

Thank you for reading.

Your thoughts are very appreciated.

Author’s Bio

Karen Bontrager helps 16-24-year-old men, and fellas, 25+ stuck there due to complex trauma, make permanent shifts in their behavior from merely surviving in life to thriving through transparent coaching/counseling in one-on-one conversations and in group work, and through topic sensitive trauma-informed workshops in a program called, “From Crisis to Courage.” With this ontological approach, I partner with my clients to discover their essence, (aka highest and best self) by powerfully reflecting and listening to them. My clients quickly learn how to generate self-awareness and to voice their own relationship needs in a clear, constructive way by learning key coaching techniques/evidenced based counseling approaches/tools to work past their traumatic events and addictions to move forward. The clients are then equipped to develop healthy relationships with key relationships: parents/siblings/friends, and with intimate dating partners because they have learned how to proactively use their voice.

She does a weekly Relationships Matter Monday LI article/poem/commentary for 16-24-year-old men and fellas, 25+, stuck there due to trauma, is a frequent contributor here, and has a bi-monthly podcast called Crisis to Courage to give gentlemen an honorable platform for learning how to use their voices in a way which gets respected, instead of turning to the old standbys: anger, isolation, and numbing behavior, so they can be the men they were made, formed, and created to be.

Crisis to Courage Podcast for Men Links below:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1130105/listings

https://open.spotify.com/show/0hBtQMFu6eOoHAJBZVRgiQ

https://podcasts.google.com/?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8xMTMwMTA1LnJzcw==

https://podcastaddict.com/podcast/3017583

https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/crisis-to-courage-podcast-a-pl-1258925

https://www.deezer.com/us/show/1372142

https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/crisis-to-courage-podcast-a-platform-for-udrRN3OmV9o/