The 'Creaturd' Chronicles: Mastering the Art of Navigating Vague Instructions with Humor and Ingenuity
Grant Crowell
Video Producer ?? | Instructional Designer ???? | Voiceover Artist ??? | Social Wordsmith ?????? | Author ?? | Neurodiversity Speaker ??? | Making Communication and Learning Fun! ?? ??
Creaturd /?kri?.e?t??rd/: A manager who hands you an assignment with the sole directive of "be creative," leading to results that somehow end up being your fault.
Picture this…
You're diligently at work, head-deep in a full plate of tasks. Suddenly, your boss, who we'll call Ms. Vague Von Mystique, swoops in and plops a project on your desk.
Her only instruction? "Be creative!"
So, you dive in headfirst— no guidelines, no parameters, just a blank canvas and a ticking clock— channeling your inner Picasso.
But when the final product doesn't align with Ms. Mystique’s undefined expectations, guess who's in the hot seat?
That's right – you.
Welcome to the realm of the creaturd, where vague instructions lead to very pointed blame.
But who's responsible for creaturds, really?
Not all creaturds are the doings of some unreasonable overlord; sometimes we may have ourselves to blame.
Creaturd /?kri?.e?t??rd/ — a misunderstanding of an assignment due to inadequate instructions cloaked in ambiguity which leads to a workplace catastrophe.
Scenario 1: The marketing debacle
We’ve all been there: Your boss — let’s call her “Clairie T.,” waltzes in one fine Monday morning with a grand announcement. "We need a new campaign, folks! Make it viral! Be creative!" and then promptly disappears, leaving you and your colleagues staring at each other like deer in headlights.
So, you and your team brainstorm for hours, coming up with a quirky idea involving llamas in pajamas, catchy jingles, and dance challenges. You pour your heart and soul into this project, convinced it's pure genius. The day of the presentation arrives, and you unveil your llama-tastic masterpiece to Ms. Clairie T.
She stares at the screen, her face devoid of emotion, then says, "I was thinking more along the lines of an email newsletter." The room falls silent. You’re left with a llama-themed campaign and a boss who’s completely bewildered by your creativity.
Lesson learned: always clarify before you unleash the llamas!
Scenario 2: The artistic disaster
I’m sure you can relate to this one: Your creative director, “Mr. Al Biguity,” glides into your workspace like a figure from an old Hollywood movie. With a dramatic flourish of his hand, he declares, "Design something that speaks to the soul," and then sashays away, leaving you to wonder what kind of soul he’s talking about — Picasso or Post-it Note?
Undeterred, you channel your inner abstract artist. You create a masterpiece filled with swirling colors, hidden messages, and layers of deep, philosophical undertones. It’s a visual symphony, a true magnum opus, and you’re sure it’s going to blow everyone’s mind. Presentation day arrives, and you unveil your creation with a flourish, expecting gasps of admiration.
Instead, Mr. Ambiguity’s face turns an alarming shade of purple, like a grape left out in the sun too long. "I meant a simple flyer for our new product," he sputters, his voice a mix of confusion and mild panic.
Your soul-speaking masterpiece is met with blank stares and awkward coughs. As you gather your things, you hear the whispers: "Where did we find this guy?" echoing like a bad catchphrase.
Moral of the story: Sometimes, the soul just wants bullet points.
Scenario 3: The event catastrophe
I bet this one brings back some memories: It’s the annual company retreat, and the event planner, “Ms. Vague Ness,” hands you the task of organizing the team-building activity with only the vaguest of instructions: "Make it fun and memorable!"
You decide to pull out all the stops. Go big or go home, right? You plan a surprise trip to an adventure park, complete with zip-lining, obstacle courses, and a paintball battle. The day arrives, and as the team steps off the bus, you can practically taste the excitement in the air.
But then reality hits – literally. The first zip-liner gets stuck dangling in mid-air like a confused pi?ata, the obstacle course quickly devolves into a mudslide straight out of a disaster movie, and the pièce de résistance? The CEO takes a paintball square to the face, leaving everyone stunned and you desperately wishing for an undo button.
By the end of the day, your colleagues look like extras from an action movie gone wrong – drenched, muddy, and more than a little shell-shocked. Meanwhile, Ms. Vagueness calmly surveys the chaos, then remarks, "I was thinking more along the lines of a picnic."
Reality-check: Fun and memorable doesn’t always require high-octane thrills – sometimes a frisbee and some sandwiches would have done the trick.
Why do creaturds happen?
Ambiguity enthusiasts
Ah, the Ambiguity Enthusiasts – those well-meaning souls who genuinely believe that creativity thrives in a vacuum. Their motto? "Less is more!" But here’s the thing: sometimes less is just... well, less. When "less is more" becomes a lifestyle, you’re not cultivating creativity; you’re just setting up your team for a deep-sea dive into a murky ocean of confusion.
Spoiler alert: constantly guessing what’s expected is not the fast track to innovation – it’s more like a slow crawl toward a toxic swamp of frustration and endless second-guessing.
Pro tip: clarity is the actual key to unlocking creativity, not a round of office charades.
Overconfidence in team talent
Next up, we have the Optimistic Creaturd – the one who assumes their team’s creative genius can overcome any obstacle, including, you know, a complete lack of direction. It’s like tossing someone the keys to a Ferrari and saying, “Go win that race!” without mentioning that there’s no gas in the tank.
Spoiler alert: the race doesn’t end well. Overconfidence in your team is a sneaky way to set them up for failure. Thinking they can pull off miracles with zero guidance? Not a compliment. It’s a recipe for disappointment, burnout, and possibly a revolving door of team members fleeing the guessing game.
Pro Tip: Confidence is cool and all, but pairing it with a little something called "realistic support" is what truly gets the job done.
Procrastination by proxy
And finally, let’s talk about the Creaturd who’s mastered the art of passing the buck – or as we like to call it, Procrastination by Proxy. This delightful individual is simply too busy (or let’s be real, too lazy) to flesh out the details, so they delegate the half-baked idea to you and vanish faster than a magician’s assistant. Suddenly, you’re playing hot potato with an unfinished project, wondering how you got stuck with it. But this isn’t just laziness; it’s toxic.
Spoiler alert: Procrastination by Proxy breeds a culture where responsibility is dodged like an ex at a high school reunion. Over time, this erodes trust, kills engagement, and turns your team into a group of buck-passers rather than milestone-crushers.
Pro Tip: Remember, folks: accountability isn’t just a buzzword — it’s the secret sauce of a productive team.
Sound overwhelming? Insurmountable?
Thrice-nay, applesauce! I wouldn't write this article if I didn't have the remedy for your malady. ?????? Behold and revel, these are my most helpful tips, born of painstaking experience, to avoid finding yourself in a creaturd scenario, served with a side of empathy, wit, and just the right amount of snarky humor:
7 Solutions for Conquering Creaturds
1. Get the Details, Darling
Before diving headfirst into a project, channel your inner detective and gather as much information as possible. Ask those clarifying questions like, "When you say ‘creative,’ do you mean Michelangelo creative or just a snazzy PowerPoint template?" It’s not being difficult; it’s called self-preservation. The more details you have, the fewer surprises later – unless you like the idea of pitching a llama-themed campaign to a bewildered boardroom.
2. Confirm Expectations (Twice)
Once you’ve gathered the basics, repeat them back to the person in charge. Something like, "So, just to confirm, you’re asking for a simple, elegant design – not a kaleidoscopic trip through the mind of Salvador Dalí, right?" This will either confirm that you’re on the right track or, more likely, reveal that they have no idea what they want, giving you the chance to steer the ship before it hits an iceberg.
3. Document Everything
Ever had that moment where your boss swears they never said, "Be as creative as you want"? Yeah, we’ve all been there. Avoid this by documenting everything. Emails, meeting notes, carrier pigeon messages – if it’s in writing, you’ve got the receipts. When the blame game starts, you can whip out your paper trail and say, "Actually, this is what you asked for," with a satisfied grin. Better yet, point them to the link of your recorded meeting with the AI-generated summary and transcript, and watch their jaw drop.
4. Remove all ambiguity
For example, say someone asks you to create a “short” video. What does that even mean? “Short” is like the wild west of time measurements. For a guy who makes hour-long tutorials, “short” could mean 10 minutes. For someone else, it might mean the time it takes to microwave a burrito. We need some parameters here, people! If someone drops the “short” bomb on you, make them give you a time range. And if they have no clue, ask for examples of what they like. Pull out something you’ve done before and ask, "Is this in the ballpark?"
5. Set Boundaries (and Stick to Them)
You may really want to show you’re a team player, but saying "yes" to every vague task is a one-way ticket to Creaturdville. When someone tries to drop a nebulous assignment on your desk, it’s okay to push back gently. "I’d love to take this on, but I need more specifics to ensure it’s exactly what you’re envisioning." Translation: "I’m not falling into that trap today, thank you very much."
6. Manage the Fallout with Grace
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you’ll still find yourself in a creaturd situation. When that happens, own it with grace. Laugh it off, learn from it, and next time, tighten up those briefings even more. And if all else fails, there’s always the "Well, I guess we’ll chalk that one up to artistic differences!" approach – said with a wink and a nod, of course.
7. Keep Your Sense of Humor Handy
Let’s face it, sometimes the world of work is just plain absurd. When you’re knee-deep in creaturd chaos, remember to keep your sense of humor close. After all, if you can’t laugh about presenting a llama campaign to a stone-faced CEO, what can you laugh about? ?Plus, it’s way more fun to look back and say, "Remember that time we completely misunderstood the brief?" than to cry into your keyboard.
Let's recap!
Clarify, Clarify, Clarify: Before diving into any task with nebulous instructions, seek clarification. Pin down specifics like a detective on a mission.
Document Everything: Keep records of all communications. When the blame game starts, your paper trail becomes your best friend.
Set Boundaries: Politely push back when given a creaturd assignment. Explain that clearer instructions will yield better results.
Manage Expectations: If you can’t get the details you need, manage expectations from the get-go. Let them know what you can realistically achieve with the information provided.
Laff and Learn: Not every creaturd situation is controllable, but how we choose to manage our reaction to, certainly is.
Conclusion: To 'turd is human, to prepare is divine
In the grand tapestry of professional life, creaturds are those stubborn knots that threaten to unravel our best-laid plans. But with clarity, a solid paper trail, and a dash of humor, you’ll not only survive but thrive in the wild world of work.
Happy creating (and creaturd’ing) — on your own terms!
Do YOU have a creaturd story?
I hope you'll share it with me in the comments! (I love candid feedback, too.)
?Lightning In A Mic? | Conversational - High Energy Voice Over Artist | Multi Media Specialist
6 个月I have had MANY clients tell me to just do my thing. I've gotten to a point in voiceover where I deliver multiple takes to make sure one of them was in lines with their vision. Most of the time it works and the others we just have to refine what exactly "creative" means to them. Excellent post and I'm glad there were lessons learned along the way.
Voice Actor (Source Connect) & Corporate Receptionist
6 个月Ha ha ha I don't know how you think these up but this is comedy gold. Brilliant post ??????
Voice Actor (Source Connect) & Corporate Receptionist
6 个月Ha ha ha I don't know how you think these up but this is comedy gold. Brilliant post ??????
Director of Marketing Communications & Knowledge Innovation ?? advocate for mental health, LGBTQ+ rights, bodily autonomy and Toastmasters
6 个月Grant Crowell - AMAZING - and I am digging these images. What a good word "creaturd"!
Instructional Designer | LXD | Learning & Development
6 个月I love reading these!