Creating Value through Connection
In this newsletter I share my experiences and reflections as a dispute resolution practitioner operating in different conflict resolution contexts. My mission is to create value through connection, and, in this resource, I explain how I do this. In sharing the strategies, ideas and experiences that have helped me each week, I hope to leave some ideas with you for transforming the challenging conversations in your work and life.
Good Faith in Conflict Communications
When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant and effective - Stephen R Covey
The first step to any effective dispute resolution process is to build trust between the parties to the dispute. Where there is trust, open communication follows. This is not only important for conflict resolution, but it also fosters the type of real and genuine collaboration that is needed for innovation and growth in teams and organisations.
Acting in good faith, paves the way for trust in communications. In assessing whether a particular conflict, whether it be a workplace dispute or neighbourhood complaint, is suitable for a mediation, conciliation or other facilitated dispute resolution process, an essential question that I ask is whether the parties are acting in good faith. In my experience, persisting with mediations or conciliations where good faith is absent can result in a waste of time and resources, and worse still, exacerbating or creating new conflict.
But what does it actually mean to act in Good Faith?
Good faith is demonstrated in the actions of an individual, and very much depends on the context. From a legal perspective, there is quite a bit of case law on good faith in the context of contractual obligations. If you are interested in the deep dive, here's my extended article, including references, on the topic: Good Faith in Conciliation - Deep Dive (shivmartin.com)
In simple terms though, good faith in communications is a mindset that is expressed by how a party acts. Some signs that good faith in the communication process is missing may be:
1) delays and non-compliance with process
2) dishonesty, exaggeration
3) incomplete information sharing
4) inflexibility in attitudes, negotiation options
5) inability to listen, constant interruptions, ignoring
6) name calling, personal attacks, blaming others without taking responsibility for own actions
7) oversharing of conflict related information with third parties
8) taking action simply for the sake of harming or weakening the other side, without any benefit to own interest (i.e. I don't really care what happens to me, I just want her to suffer)
Practically speaking, the more of the above factors I identify, the less likely that the communications will occur in good faith. The last factor in particular is a serious red flag to me, and a sign that more work needs to be done with one party individually (usually through coaching or counselling), before a joint conflict conversation occurs.
Here's a short summary of the positives to look when it comes to good faith:
Now why is this information helpful? Whenever I design a dispute resolution process and consider how to engage with parties in conflict, I always consider a good faith check. In a future article, I will discuss how I approach conversations once I sense that one or more parties are not acting in good faith.
In the meantime, here's a question for you, if you sense that individuals are not acting in good faith, do you try to change that behaviour? How? I will explore the answer to this question in a future newsletter!
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Resilience in conflict resolution work
Having worked in conflict spaces for over 15 years, I have first-hand experience of how my mental health, physical wellbeing and personal relationships outside of work can be significantly impacted by the emotional toll of the work that I do. Understanding how to identify and manage the psychosocial hazards that exist in conflict resolution work is key to ensuring our resilience in this space.
Last week, after the incredibly distressing news of the stabbing massacre in Sydney, a few fellow dispute resolution officers mentioned to me that they were worried the perpetrator was someone they spoke to. They also wondered if others they were currently speaking with could also be capable of acting in the same horrifying way. This is a common worry for dispute resolution professionals who work in public service roles requiring them to engage with information and correspondence that details or exposes distressing and confronting events, or those who interact with individuals whose behaviour poses a real threat to the health and safety of others.
This type of response to current events can be a symptom of vicarious trauma. Vicarious trauma is the emotional and psychological harm suffered by someone who hears about or witnesses the suffering of others. It's essentially experiencing trauma secondhand. In some dispute resolution roles, staff are exposed to this secondhand trauma every single day at work, actively listening to others tell us about their suffering is an essential part of the job. For this reason, we must have measures in place to mitigate the harm that results from vicarious trauma. And, no, telling staff to simply leave work at work, is not the answer.
I've written more about this topic on my blog here and also go into more detail around mitigation strategies: Conflict Work and Vicarious Trauma (shivmartin.com)
So how have I learnt to keep myself safe? In addition to consulting evidence-based, clinical experts and resources, there are a number of practical, work-based strategies that help. I have summarised my top 3 ideas in the image below:
Reflective practice and time for debriefing and talking through the personal impact of conflict resolution work is, for me, the most important strategy. It puts things into perspective, helps me to separate myself from the conflict, and allows me to engage in a positive connection with a peer. A good debriefing conversation should feel like a load being lifted off your shoulders. Luckily for me, I work alongside mediators, conciliators and trainers, who happen to be professionally trained listeners.
If this topic is of urgent concern to you please contact expert services like Lifeline (Crisis Support) on 13 11 14 (24/7 service) or the BlueKnot Helpline for trauma support on 1300 657 380.
If you are looking for a peer to debrief with, please reach out, I am always happy to have a chat.
I will shortly also be delivering the following reflective practice workshop for Resolution Institute - excellence in dispute resolution in Australia and Aotearoa on this topic, so I invite you to join me there as well.
Monday 22 April 3-5 PM (AEST)
During this session I discuss practical, work based strategies that assist in identifying and managing the psychological toll of conflict work. As conflict managers and people managers, we will explore a range of non-clinical skills and strategies in a reflective practice format. We will reflect and share learnings on the following topics:
Is there anything else I can help you with?
As a conflict management specialist, I work with government and business teams. I offer services in mediation and conciliation, customized conflict and communication skills training, facilitation of meetings and workshops, coaching and strategy discussions, and workflow and policy design. I work with other leading practitioners in this space and organisations such as Resolution Institute - excellence in dispute resolution in Australia and Aotearoa and can have a team of people ready to support you. Please get in touch with me on linked or through my website if I can help you: www.shivmartin.com/contact
Great work Shiv. Looking forward to more newsletters.