Creating Tough-Love Boundaries? A Guide to Access a Strong NO?

Early success is often a byproduct of accepting nearly every opportunity that comes your way.?

Progressing to the next successful stage, however, requires a shift in thinking; this includes declining almost every opportunity.

This is why I intend to share with you the most potent tool I know to elevate your life, career, and business.

This tool is a minuscule word. A definitive, two-letter word: NO.

Hearing NO may be difficult and articulating it, even more challenging.

Before you comprehend how to say NO, it's important to understand what you're genuinely saying YES to—what you truly desire.

Here are two steps to uncover your definite YES:

1. Tolerations

Tolerations are elements in your routine life that bleed your energy. These could be projects, behavior, people, possessions, or activities that you've gotten used to dealing with. Anything chosen by compulsion rather than desire is a toleration. This includes anything from cluttered desks to outdated business partners. Compose a list of 50 tolerations. The replies to these four questions could aid in this task:

? What are you tolerating?

? What are you finding mundane?

? What decision do you regret saying yes to?

? What are your “In Order To’s”? (These are things you agreed to only as a gateway to your actual goals).

2. Open loops

Open loops, just like cliffhangers in popular TV shows, trigger your mind to seek a conclusion. In life, an open loop represents a pledge made to oneself or others. These can be unfulfilled for a long while. They might be something as small as a borrowed book or a ignored promise. List down 50 such open loops. Remember, even tiny open loops drain your energy.

Let's now explore strategies to comfortably say NO.

Deciphering the Art of Saying NO

As Warren Buffett famously declared, truly successful people decline almost every proposition.?

1. Determine your undeniable YES.

Identify what is absolutely critical to you, making it easy to say no to everything else (for instance, quality time with family, achieving your health goals, etc.)

2. Rethink the future repercussions of today's YES.

Consider the cost you'd pay down the line — in a week, a month, or 6 months — once you've to fulfil what's promised now.

3. NO is a complete sentence.

No detailed explanation or apology is required. A firm no often receives more respect than a prolonged explanation.

4. Let your fee be the NO.

Avoid saying no to potential clients — just increase your charges to a high enough number. If they agree, you'll be thrilled to lend your services!

5. Gracious NO.

A humble "Thank you for your request, but I respectfully decline," leaves minimal room for conflict.?

6. Be a fast no.

If you know you're going to say no, don't leave people in uncertainty.

7. No room for 7.

When assigning a rank on a 1-10 scale, 7 is the 'maybe' number which should be avoided. A definite YES is an 8, 9 or 10, while a NO ranges from 6 or less.

8. Selfishly kind YES.

If you're not wholeheartedly invested in a decision, you're depriving someone else who might be. Saying YES to everything is not an act of kindness.

9. Their response, their character.

People's reactions to your NO are a reflection of their character, not yours.

Inspired by Susan Henderson's poem; I don't see a “grumpy old woman…” I see someone very clear about what she wants to say yes to and about what she wants to say no to. I want to be more like her when I grow up!

Clarity is what I aim to cultivate within myself!

Ryan Branch

www.ryanbranch.se?