Creating Thriving Workplaces: What Targets of Workplace Bullying Really Want

Creating Thriving Workplaces: What Targets of Workplace Bullying Really Want

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Dear Leaders,

What I am about to share with you might blow your socks off and it is my hope that it does.

Targets of workplace bullying don't want empty promises, bad advice or job action.

By the time they have the courage to bring an issue to your attention, many targets have already undertaken their own type of job action to lessen the impact.

Your employees are quite resourceful and have already tried staying quiet, keeping their head down, and ignoring the offensive behaviors. Things are not getting better.

They have used vacation days instead of sick days, adjusted their schedules, work site, and declined committee work and conferences to avoid the offender.

They have found alternate routes to their office, changed where they have lunch, and isolated themselves from anyone associated with the offender.

Resourceful.

Committed.

Strong.

That is the heart of a target of bullying that continues to show up and work in an environment that is threatening their very health.

What do targets really want?

When you are talking with an individual who is struggling to find their way through a difficult relationship, the best way to uncover what they really want is through a powerful question.

Not just any powerful question. One that will transform how they see the problem, the solution, and how you see your role.

I want to share with you my favorite question — one that has the potential to uncover deep insights and pave the way for meaningful conversations, mentoring, and real change.


"If I had a realistic magic wand, and I waved it right now, what would be different tomorrow when you go to work?"

This question isn't just about wishful thinking; it's about revealing the heart of unresolved issues within your team.

You might think that the most common response to that question is "I want the bully to stop". Surprisingly, it is not.

Instead, the answers to that question reveal their true desires: feeling valued, contributing meaningfully, and being part of something greater—a culture where everyone thrives.

So what are they really saying?

  • A person who wants to feel valued, may be feeling undervalued
  • A person who wants to contribute meaningfully, may be struggling to meet their full potential
  • A person who wants to be a part of something greater may be feeling they don't belong at all

The Leaders Role

Behind these responses lie individuals grappling with challenges they feel ill-equipped to handle alone. They're seeking resources, support, and guidance to navigate complex workplace dynamics.

Get clear on the impact and you will find a roadmap towards success

  1. Ask the question: "If I had a realistic magic wand, and I waved it right now, what would be different tomorrow when you go to work?"
  2. Listen for the answers and hear what they cannot do because of the unresolving issue
  3. Partner with them. Explore what they need to feel valued, meet their potential, and belong.
  4. Empower them to be a part of the solution. Partner with them.
  5. Mentor and coach them through the difficult situation and conversations.



As a leadership and communication skills coach, I specialize in guiding individuals through difficult workplace conversations and equipping leaders with the tools to foster positive organizational cultures. Whether you're facing challenges in navigating workplace dynamics or seeking to enhance your leadership impact, I'm here to help.

Let's start a conversation today about how we can create environments where everyone feels valued, productive, and part of something bigger. Together, we can build resilient teams and cultivate thriving workplaces where everyone can shine.

You are only one conversation away.

Tammy Dunnett, PCC CPCC MN BN, the Talksicologist

Services Offered

  • Executive coaching
  • Leadership Coaching
  • Communication Skills Coaching and Training
  • Workshops and assessments (DISC, EQ, 360s, Difficult conversations, Workplace bullying)
  • Conferecen Keynote presentations


About Tammy Dunnett, CPCC, PCC, MN, BN

Tammy has over 20 years experience working in challenging and even hostile environments like Afghanistan, healthcare, and post secondary education, and knows what leaders need to do to be successful in high stress environments.

Tammy Dunnett is a global speaker and executive coach whose keynotes and workshops enhance leaders communication skills for the everyday and not so everyday conversations.

Brian Lees

MLT 1 MLA2 and Chief motorcycle Mechanic at My motorcycle collection

4 个月

As a recent target of workplace bullying where I was systematically attacked by a workplace psychopath to remove me from the workplace and used the company owner to get me out of his way so he could move forward in the company, my biggest desire is Justice. Governing bodies need to focus on removing the violator from the work place instead of removing the victim from the workplace. Currently under Worksafe BC I have been told I have a permanent injury and I must under go retraining and psychological assessment and find a new Career. Mean while the violator is thriving under a new company owner. I highly doubt Worksafe will be able to find me anything close to what I had for the wage I was making plus benefits. At this point I have asked for anger management counselling but have received nothing. Its a pretty tough pill to swallow when you had a really good career going for you and you are attacked in this way.

Kristen Santos, OTR/L, MS, CPCC

Coach for ADHD adults & leaders, Occupational Therapist, #neurodiversity, #actuallyADHD, #actuallyPTSD

5 个月

Simple, powerful and empowering.

Anna Brooks

Lead Graphic Designer

5 个月

Love this insight into emotionally intelligent leadership. Great work. Great read.

Chris Edward Jensen

Workplace Abuse Survivor -> Independent Researcher -> Author -> Disruptor

5 个月

Food for thought? I experienced workplace abuse no fewer than nine times. In each of those nine times, I remained resourceful, committed, and strong of heart, while my mind was experiencing a psychological onslaught. In each of those nine instances, my heart's cry was, "Will somebody make it stop?" And I don't think I'm alone there. Yeah, I wanted to feel valued, and I wanted my reach my full potential, and I wanted to belong in each workplace. But the value I attributed to these wants was minuscule next to the value I placed on my very real need to stop the bleeding.

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