Creating A Successful Christmas.
Creating a successful Christmas means many different things to many different people. Whether this success means just getting through an endless series of family obligations in one piece or having a fun filled time where you get together with family and friends to celebrate your connectedness, the process is still the same.
There are seven steps to the creating a successful Christmas.
Step One. The first thing you need to know is that your thoughts and beliefs, and the soundbites you tell yourself and others about how Christmas is going to be, actually creates your own unique story of how Christmas is going to unfold for you.
If you are already stressing because of what has happened in the past, watch those niggly little thoughts that keep coming up, telling you how horrible it’s going to be when your over bearing mum, dad, brother, sister, in-law or friend does … because Christmas is going to be tough.
If this is the case for you, don't lie to yourself and say it 's going to be fantastic and the best Christmas ever, because it won’t be. Be realistic with what you can and can’t do, and look at how you can change what you do to make things better.
One thing you can do, is to start telling yourself how much better you are going to handle being around them this time. That when they start with all their jibes and ribbing, you will just observe what they do and not get sucked into reacting to them. That’s what they want. They are trying to elicit a reaction from you. So if you feel yourself losing control, pause, take in a deep breath and let it go, don’t get sucked into their game. Play your own.
Step Two. Because the world is filled with infinite possibilities and there are no limits to what you can create, start to day dream about how you are going to change the way in which you behave. Visualise how well the day is going to go, how marvellous you will be, and how well you are going to handle whatever situation you are faced with. Actually see and hear yourself having interactions with all your family and friends. Feel how great it feels to be at your best, in control of your emotions and having fun.
Step Three. Get your partner or close and trusted friends involved in your daydreaming. Get them to help you create a new story of how much better it is going to be for you this year. The more people you can get to support and believe in you and your new story, the more powerful your dreaming will be in creating a successful Christmas for you.
Step Four. Remember that your greatest power lies in the present moment. So if bad memories of the past pop up just banish them and say no not this time, this time I'm going to handle myself better than ever before. Focus on what you are trying to create, not on what you hate. This may also include taking some supportive actions like going to counselling or reading a book about boundaries and how to respond in stressful situation.
Step Five. Here I'll introduce you to a powerful new concept that you may never have heard before.
Nothing Is Personal.
That’s right! No matter who is in front of them, particular people are always going to attempt to play out their same old story. Understanding that people are just doing their stuff and that their behaviour is not personal to you allows you to walk much more powerfully in the world.
Coming from this framework allows you to respond to the various situations that confront you, in a much more calm and objective manner. This is much more powerful than reacting from the role of victim. This doesn't mean that you have to put up with any inappropriate behaviour, it means that when you respond you will be responding from a place of clarity and power, and that your decisions will be much more balanced and effective. Work out before hand how you might want to respond in certain situations and practice what you intend to do.
Step Six. The choice to create what you want is yours alone. No one has power over you unless you give it to them. Just as you have no power over anyone else unless they choose to give it to you. So you have a choice to make. You can choose to try something new and make the effort to actively create and experience a more successful Christmas, or you can keep on doing the same old thing if that’s what works for you. Either way, it is always your choice.
Step Seven. Last but not least, be loving and kind to yourself. Find ways to do things that are fun and nurturing to yourself in between all your Christmas activities and obligations. Even the best of us can get worn down and tired with all the emotion and work associated with Christmas. Don't be a work horse, spread the chores around, give others the opportunity to help if you’re always the one doing all of the work. You might just be surprised how much of a kick others can get if you suddenly trust them to produce a special dish or do a special job on the day.
That’s it, happy dreaming and have fun creating the Christmas success you choose.