Creating Secure Attachment in Adulthood

Early attachment is often with the primary caregiver and is designed to help children get their needs met, provide a safe home base from which the child can explore, provide support and encouragement and help the child learn tools for self-regulation. When children interact with the world, they learn what to expect by how others respond.

Adult attachment does many of those same things, but may be spread across different people

• Safe home base: Are people safe and trustworthy? Is the world a safe place?
• Attentive (proactively): Am I worthy of love and attention?
• Feelings identification & management: Can I handle my feelings?
• Encouragement of goals: Can I succeed???
• Responsive to the adult’s needs (compassionate, nurturing, supportive): Am I able to get my needs met?

Relationship behaviors are based on prior experiences which guide expectations. Learning from these experiences is important, as is recognizing that all situations are different and our assumptions and expectations regularly need to be assessed.

Developing or repairing secure attachment starts with self.?Learn what your needs are, and how to start meeting those needs so you can communicate them.

Learn practical steps to enhance security in relationships in this brief video.