Creating Rapport, Step 4: LOOPING!

This post is the fourth in a four-part series newsletter in creating rapport. This email will cover LOOPING: What it is, why we do it and how you can do it.

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Click here to access the third step in creating rapport, Supporting.

Without further ado:
 
LOOPING
 
“*Disclaimer: This is a powerful NLP technique that can and should only be used for good and certainly not in a malicious or manipulative way.”
 
What it is:
It is the tool used to find and stay in rapport once you’re in a meaningful interaction.
 
In summary to create Rapport:
We covered these in last three weeks’ posts:
1. Calibrate - look for cues. Verbal and more importantly nonverbal cues!
2. Pace - match and mirror. Verbal and again, more importantly, the nonverbal pacing!
3. Support - create the context for rapport through active listening. We tune into the other person's wavelength. "We listen from within their frame of reference."

At this point, you should now be in rapport with the other person.
 
Cues that you can look for to know if you're in rapport:
1. The person is calm (ideally.)
2. They are using similar hand gestures to you.
3. They are using words that you use.
4. Their breathing is in sync with yours.
5. They are maintaining eye contact.
6. There is active listening taking place on both ends of the conversation. As a leading sales person, or coach you should be doing most of the listening, the few words you are saying are being heard and listened to if you are in rapport.

Why we do it:
We loop back to make sure rapport is not broken or lost in the interaction:
 
How we do it:
Continuously LOOP back to one of the steps 1 – 3:

Calibrate: Check that your calibration is in check.
Pace: Rearrange your posture to match theirs if it has changed. Use their new words they are bringing into the conversation. Match the tones, gesturing and tempo.
If you start to lose rapport, or find it difficult to get back to a level of rapport spend more time at each step. Calibrate until you are confident to move on to pacing. Only once you are happy with your matching, move onto supporting. Go back again if you need to, and stay calm if you’re struggling. Getting upset and impatient with yourself and the other person is hugely counter-productive.

The real art is really being able to do all three steps at once, and doing them quickly: getting into rapport almost immediately.
As is the case with anything the more you practice, the better you will get at it.

The best way to practice is to be aware of yourself in all of your interactions.
Make sure you're actively engaged and listening. And do it always, not only in high-stakes meetings with clients and colleagues, but in all conversations with friends, family and other daily interactions with random people.
 
Remember, eye-contact, smile, acknowledge, respond with relevant feedback. Feedback absolutely free from your own (sordid) judgement.
 
I guarantee results. It’s going to be amazing the more you practice and more aware you become. And for that, I…
 
Can’t wait!

SAVE THE DATE:

The Exclusive David le Roux Coaching Workshop: #BizCoachingSA is being held on the 9th of July at the Company Brasserie in Menlyn Square, Pretoria.

Space is limited to ten spots (5 left) , so you best book quickly!

#BizCoachingSA by #DLRCoaching
Cost: R 495 per person.
Value Proposition: Power-packed content, real life examples, real-life sales and business tools for your business,
Lunch included, bottomless cappuccino, Great vibe, heat, and an awesome networking opportunity.
 
Lastly, there will be a draw for one person to win a free one-month subscription to a one-on-one DLRCoaching Package valued at R 2 595!
 
The Event will be up on Facebook by the time you read this message.