Creating Ourselves Part 3: Essential Courage

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If living fully is more a process of creating ourselves versus one of discovery and also having a sense of central purpose to guide us, then the way we journey in this lifetime shapes who we become.  To do this well, to become our best selves, requires courage at each crossroad we come to on the path of life.  Working with families, organizations, communities and individuals for more than 40 years has taught me that where our courage stops is where our effectiveness stops;  where our courage stops is where our learning stops;  where our courage stops is where we stop.

If we wish to shape ourselves into moving with a more wholehearted way of living, leading and loving, then we need at least seven "acts" of courage.  The Courage Quotient Index (CQI) is a set of questions designed to help you evaluate which of these acts of courage are strongest and can be leveraged, and also to identify which are least developed and need more practice.   A quick explanation of each act of courage follows.

To Dream and Express the Dream:  The world is full of cynics, critics and naysayers.  It takes courage to express a dream, a sense of vision and possibility. To See Current Reality: It is essential to claim your strengths AND your weaknesses, to be willing to see what is working for you as well as what is working against you.  To  Confront: It is essential to be able to tell "truth to power" and to do it with grace and compassion.  It is not about dumping on others or being strident; it is about speaking up, challenging the status quo in a clear, direct, respectful way. To Be Confronted: It is important, if we are not to be blindsided at work, at home or in life, that we invite the insights and observations of others by listening non-defensively, to truly hear what is being shared as useful information. To Learn and Grow: If we are to shape ourselves to a more wholehearted way of being, then having the courage to step into the unknown, to take the "leap" of faith is essential.  This also means giving up the need to be right, and instead to focus on the greater good and win-win outcomes. To Be Vulnerable: We need to be open to life, knowing we will be hurt and committing ourselves anyway.  Without the courage to be vulnerable, we will never shape a Life of joy, true meaning, fulfillment, love and grace. To Act: We need the courage to take action on our dreams, starting from current reality, while being informed and guided by the other four key acts above.  With these seven acts of courage, we can take the essential steps with greater grace and make the challenging leaps in life required to shape our best selves.