Creating a New Identity

Creating a New Identity

by Marshall Goldsmith

Who do you think you are?

Take your time. This is not a test with one correct answer. And it is very important because how you define yourself will impact how successful you are at your job, how good a friend, partner, or parent you are, and even how happy you will be in life. Answering this question, becoming aware of your identity, who you think you are and how it coincides (or doesn’t coincide) with who you want to be, could be the beginning of a behavioral change that could alter your life in unimaginably wonderful ways!

Identity is a complicated subject. You may be inclined to look back to the past for signal events, memorable triumphs, or painful disasters to answer the question. You may rely on the testimony of others, a boss or teacher’s positive review, a parent’s approval of your energy and prowess in certain areas. Or you may project into the future defining yourself based on who you want to be or who others have told you that you will be rather than who you actually are. All of these are important, because they make up the essence of who you are.

How do we know who we are? Our identities are remembered, reflected, programmed, and created. These four sources of our identity can be defined like so,

1) Remembered Identity: How do you know who you are? Because you remember events in your life that helped form your sense of self. It’s not so important that these are sometimes inglorious moments or events you’d rather erase; you can’t forget these touchstones, good or bad. For better or worse, they’ve left an impact—and when you write a profile of yourself, these moments inevitably get reported.

2) Reflected Identity: What do people tell you that they remember about you? Other people remember events in your past and they remind you of them, sometimes constantly. It’s one thing for the executive to admit to poor follow-up. But if her boss or partner or customers tell her the same thing, it reinforces the picture that she already has of herself. You might know this as feedback. Feedback from others is how we shape our reflected identity.

3) Programmed Identity: What message do people give you about who you are today or who you will become in the future? Your programmed identity has many sources. It can be influenced by the profession you enter, or the culture you grew up in, or the company you work for, or the entire industry you work in, or the people you select as your trusted friends. Each of these can shape your opinion of yourself, some more vividly than you may realize.

4) Created Identity: Who do you want to be? Our created identity is the identity that we decide to create for ourselves. It is the part of our identity that is not controlled by our past or by other people. The most truly successful people I have met have created identities to become the human beings that they chose to be—without being slaves to the past or other people.

Now that you have a basic understanding of identity, my suggestion to you is simple. Review the various components of your current identity. Where did they originate? How do they impact how you see yourself today, and, who you would like to become in the future? If your present identity is fine with you, just work on becoming an even better version of who you are. If you want to make a change in your identity, be open to the fact that you may be able to change more than you originally believed you could. Assuming you do not have “unchangeable” limitations, then you, can create a new identity for your future without sacrificing your past.

So, I’ll ask you again. Give it some thought. Who do you think you are?

I hope that you enjoyed The Marshall Goldsmith Newsletter and that it is helpful to you!

Follow me on Linkedin

Visit my website for free resources!

Watch over 300 coaching videos on my YouTube channel!

Like me on Facebook!

Follow me on Twitter!

Sign up for my Methods of Leadership Course!

Take My Leadership Masterclass!



Ray Narine

Mother ? Certified Executive Coach ? Transformational People & Capabilities Partner - Equity, Talent & Culture Strategist ? Progressive Thinker

4 年

Marshall Goldsmith , have you read, “The Buddha and the Badass?” “Your greatest job is to uncover your story/your unique values, stay true to it and act from it.” We are always unfolding...

回复
Sobha Varghese

Industry Communications | Executive & Leadership Communications | Strategic Communications

4 年

A powerful blueprint of how our identities are shaped - remembered, reflected, programmed and created. Finding or forging your identity is a trip to self-discovery. Thank you for sharing these facets which shape our identity.

回复
Edson Marcelino

Capacitar líderes bem-sucedidos a liderarem de forma mais eficaz por meio de mudan?as comportamentais positivas que sejam apoiadas, identificadas e reconhecidas por outros.

4 年

Marshall this is something frighteningly truly that I am choked. It sounds likes a mirror for me, I mean it fit like a comfortable shoe. And finally I can answer to you with a positive: I am creating my own identity. Tahnk you

Mohamed Elzahar

Senior manager , Business development | Exhibition Management | Innovation & Creativity Committee| ITOL Member | Training Planning

4 年

Amazing as usual , Marshall Goldsmith I think we all have different identities There is an identity for work, there is another identity for the family and the home, and another identity for dealing with different personalities We are the ones who define our identities based on our dealings and on the personalities we deal with I cannot have one identity only, the work identity cannot be used with children at home and the home identity cannot be used with colleagues at work

回复
Dr. Sabaruddin de AB

Strategy, Policy, Design n Implementation: Digital Development/PFM-IFMIS-GFMIS-GovTech/Enterprise Systems/Digital Transformation/Organizational Change Management/IT Governance/PMO Specialist

4 年

Great Article with great message..thank you for sharing this Marshall Goldsmith

回复

要查看或添加评论,请登录

Marshall Goldsmith的更多文章

  • The Responsibility Trap

    The Responsibility Trap

    by Mike Mackie and Marshall Goldsmith Many people carry a peculiar burden—an inflated sense of responsibility for…

    125 条评论
  • Getting Your Team to Tell You What You Need to Hear: Building a Culture of Psychological Safety

    Getting Your Team to Tell You What You Need to Hear: Building a Culture of Psychological Safety

    by Jack Gordon, Ph. D.

    59 条评论
  • Feedforward

    Feedforward

    As we go through life, we tend to look back on what has made a difference to us. I particularly remember a series of…

    52 条评论
  • Don’t Live with Regret

    Don’t Live with Regret

    How many of us feel we’ve wasted years of our lives? How many of us judge ourselves because we believe we’re not doing…

    62 条评论
  • One Thing Great Leaders Never Do!

    One Thing Great Leaders Never Do!

    The ever-increasing presence of knowledge workers (people who know more about what they are doing than their boss does)…

    39 条评论
  • Modern Achievement is an International Bestseller!

    Modern Achievement is an International Bestseller!

    As a thank you for making this wonderful book co-authored with Asheesh Advani an international best seller I wanted to…

    35 条评论
  • MODERN ACHIEVEMENT IS A BEST SELLER!

    MODERN ACHIEVEMENT IS A BEST SELLER!

    I am excited to announce that Modern Achievement, my latest book with Asheesh Advani hit #1 on Amazon in Management…

    54 条评论
  • Welcome to MarshallGoldsmith.ai

    Welcome to MarshallGoldsmith.ai

    Dear LinkedIn Friends, For years I have been trying to figure out how to give away everything that I know. After a lot…

    48 条评论
  • On Flourishing, featuring Hubert Joly

    On Flourishing, featuring Hubert Joly

    In the Becoming Coachable miniseries we explore the power of Flourishing, a leadership style in which the leader is…

    28 条评论
  • Becoming Coachable

    Becoming Coachable

    I am excited to announce the publication of our new book, Becoming Coachable! I wrote this book along with two of my…

    97 条评论

社区洞察

其他会员也浏览了