Creating new habits and keeping them is like being pregnant and having a new baby

I worked over 15 years in the corporate world and it took me more than half of that to understand the importance of taking time for my own development, something that benefits only me. And it's still work in progress. But one thing I realised recently is that we all have a daily template we follow, habits we stick to, and it’s challenging to make room for new ones. That’s why creating new ones is like being pregnant and sticking with them is like having a baby.

?Working for a large company often means you’ll take regular training and compulsory compliance reviews.The thing is, you don't realise that as time goes by, most of the training you've done is not for you as such, but for the company you work for. You might feel that you’re developing yourself, you’re growing. But if you had a choice, would you do the same training? Are you getting closer or further away from what you really want to do? And the bigger question is “who are you without the big company name attached to your name?”.

?The challenge is to find something you want to learn for yourself and stick with it. When I try to learn something new, it gets deprioritised after a few days only. In other words, I have a bad daily template that I'm applying every day.?

?I call the try-and-miss period of changing that daily template of mine ‘the pregnancy’. It's going to take a while, you know nothing, you're trying new ways of prioritising yourself, and you're reading a lot about how to go through it nicely. This period can last a few months, sometimes a few years, with all the morning sickness associated. If it took you years to adopt a life template, it's going to take more than a few days to get out of it.

Now, during the pregnancy period, you build a vision for your new life, you can see and feel what your new daily template could look like and how beneficial it could be, with its very own traits and your new habits. During the pregnancy period, you convince yourself that you're doing the right thing and you are finally ready to adopt something new.

You're going to tell me that you've done that before and unfortunately, once again, life took over...? Well, let me tell you what I mean by having a new baby.

After months of thinking and preparing your new daily template, you have it, you're proud of it, it looks more like you, your true self, than a reflection of the company you work for. You're excited for this new chapter of your life. That's your baby.

?If you already have children, you know this: there is no choice, no alternative to looking after your baby. It's your number one priority. Your daily template, your schedule, is massively disrupted. Your friends don't see you much anymore. But everyone around you has to adapt to your baby and new life, you first. The good news is that this baby of yours doesn't need to be a crying one, it can be whatever you decided to invest in, to prioritise, and if it's you, even better. And just like having a real baby, it has its ups and downs, but you never give up on your baby, whatever it is.

I know it sounds challenging. But if I did it, so can you. And this is how:

• You might already know about the power of writing down life goals. If it’s written down, it helps you visualise if this is something you really want or not. I created 3 “non negotiables”: these were the goals I wanted to achieve however long it would take. And any decisions I would take would be influenced by these goals.
• My husband helped me get where I wanted to be: if it was about meditating, he would give me the space I needed in the morning to do it. That meant he would look after the kids for 20 min while I was meditating.
• I wouldn’t put a ton of pressure on myself. Again, meditating was a big goal for me and I started in the morning, then ended up doing it in the evening. As long as I was doing it, I felt I was going in the right direction.
• I took on a 21 day meditation challenge: I’m competitive so it was important for me to do this and be able to tick the “done” box everyday. After 21 days, I went from “I want to meditate” to “I need to meditate”. It was just amazing how much I could feel the benefits of it after such a short time.
• I told my friends about and kept myself accountable: the more you share your new venture, the more accountable you are, and you need that. It’s way too easy to go back to your comfort zone. And yes, the road to getting a new life template is challenging, but it’s so worth it.
• I didn’t want to complain about the same things over and over again. If people can change their life, I decided I could too.

The pregnancy period for my meditation goal was over 24 months … but once I started it with the 21 day challenge, that was it. I looked after that baby and never let it go.

And yes, once you successfully adapted and got the hang of your new life with baby number 1, you go for number 2, maybe even 3!?

Maybe most of you are in the pregnancy phase of developing new habits right now. So, the next step would simply be to think about having the baby now. You got this. Put yourself, and all your babies first. If you still feel you’re not ready, please do share your blockers in the comments or pm me, I’d be interested in discussing them with you.