Creating 'My Space'

I enjoy each of my coaching conversations. More for the big shifts in beliefs that happen often – to me and my clients.

My client was talking of a few relationships – at work and life- that he feels have reached toxic overflows.

'What’s common in these relationships that bothers you most?'

“They mostly do things their way, not my way, although I’m sure that’s the preferred way. And these are relationships where I am the senior partner.”

'What happens when they do things their way?'

“They mostly fail, or deliver less”.

'And how often is ‘mostly’? '

“ May be 50%, may be a bit less”.

'Lets look at it a bit differently. How would you feel if I cross my leg over yours, forcibly?'

“Weird, uncomfortable, encroached, may be overpowered if you force it too much ”.

'Ah ! Encroaching your physical space, right?'

“Yeah.”

'Consider the mind space. When you tell those folks what to do , do not ask for permissions, set expectations , and expect them to deliver cent percent, how would they feel in their mind? Encroached?'

“Kind of . But that’s my role! I have to use my authority at work.”

'No questions on that. But you’re giving them a feeling of encroachment, right?'

“I guess so”.

'What happens when your building encroaches on your neighbour’s land? They complain to authorities, who come and demolish it. When a nation is encroached upon by it’s neighbour, governments declare war.'

“Get it. I need to balance the Your Way , My Way mindset that makes me anxious, experience pain and paralyse my thoughts”

'Wonderfully articulated, and how will you do that?'

“Let me be mindful of creating My Space for both of us. And not encroach on mutual space. I'll give it a sincere try, starting now. ”

Four weeks later, he reported warmth and happiness thinking about and talking to those people at work and life ! He is practising to create more My Space for him and others. 

Gratified that he renewed my practice and reinforced my belief on Creating My Space.

How are you practising My Space?