Creating Monsters

My middle son, Jordan, is in his senior year of college. He's learning how to program and design immersive video games. He's creating monsters.

And he's not alone.

No, I'm not talking about other programmers and designers.

I'm talking about parents who are failing in their role, as the leaders of their home, to raise respectful, obedient, thoughtful, kind, considerate, well-behaved children that lead themselves well and make good choices.

You have only to turn on the news, or simply observe what is going on in society around you today and what do you NOT see? Respectful, obedient, thoughtful, kind, considerate, well-behaved children, teens, and young adults. You see a growing sense of lawlessness, an embracing of vices that are harmful and destructive, and a lack of respect for themselves, others, and society in general.

You also see a vulgarness, rudeness, an acceptance of violence as a means to resolve conflict, and a growing devaluing of human life. You see a generation of impressionable young lives being exploited by those with a hidden agenda that is subversive, deviant, and dangerous, encouraging children to live by their feelings and continually see themselves as victims with no way out.

It's one of the reasons anxiety, depression, and hopelessness are rampant in society today.

Children have no moral compass in their lives, and they are adrift without the ability to chart a course to a prosperous, fulfilling future. No guidance, no leadership, and no one to prepare them for true success in life.

A generation lost, and a society on the brink of moral, social, and economic collapse.

As I've previously shared, the primary role of a leader is to lead themselves well and make good choices that lead to good outcomes and success in life. The secondary role of a leader is to reproduce other leaders. This is how we perpetuate leadership into the future.

Sadly, far too many families are FAILING in this responsibility.

When parents fail to lead themselves, they are not only failing themselves but the young, impressionable lives they are raising to see what good leadership looks like. When parents are self-centered, egotistical, disrespectful, disobedient, inconsiderate, misbehaving, and in a growing number of instances law-breaking, they are modeling behaviors their children will view as "acceptable" and normalize this behavior in their own lives.

They are creating monsters.

Today, we see a generation of children who are modeling what their parents, and the society around them, is presenting as an acceptable way to live, and the very construct of society is unraveling at the seams. You have only to observe the behaviors of children in restaurants, department stores, amusement parks, and our schools and you see how parents (along with our teachers and other influencers in society) are failing them/

Remember, people do what people see.

Parents no longer spend time with their children. They put them in front of a TV, a computer screen, or a smartphone rather than interacting with them, pouring into their lives, encouraging them, challenging them, and living life with them. They turn over the training of their children, the principles, values, and beliefs they will accept as their own, over to media celebrities and influencers who only care about their own success.

They are creating monsters.

Despite the growing body of research that shows the harm smartphones, social media, and gaming does to the development of children (and can be more addictive than illicit drugs), parents put no boundaries, no limits, and no restrictions on the content their children consume.

They are creating monsters.

When children grow up with no rules, no boundaries, and there are no consequences for bad choices, they are being groomed for failure in life. When parents no longer discipline their children, they teach them the rules don't apply, and it is okay for them to do anything and everything they want, with no consequences.

In an increasingly permissive society, where anything and everything goes, disorder and chaos will ultimately rule. When human life is devalued to the point where acts of violence against other human beings become a daily occurrence, we are seeing an absence of good leadership in our homes, our schools, our churches, and our communities.

We as a society are creating monsters.

And like we see in the movies, and the video games, the monsters will one day come for us.

Parents, you are to be the LEADERS in your home, teaching your children to lead themselves well, make good choices, and prepare them for success in life. That starts with YOU doing this first for yourself. You're not there to be your child's "best friend" or their "buddy", you are there to be their PARENT, a leader who teaches them to be respectful, obedient, thoughtful, kind, considerate, well-behaved children.

They need you to lead them...and to lead them well, so they can lead themselves well in the future. Children need rules, boundaries, and they need to learn to be contributing members of society, starting in the home. They need to know that you care, and that needs to be demonstrated as you become an active participant in their training in the early, formative years of their lives.

Children need to learn to be respectful and to treat others with dignity. They need to be taught to value themselves and how to value (and add value to) others. Children should learn how to cooperate, share, and the importance (and value) of work. They should learn how to be a productive member of a team, as one is too small a number to achieve greatness.

Children should be introduced to leadership concepts early, and often. This is how they learn, grow, and become a better version of themselves. This is something parents can (and should) do with their children. Remember, children do what children see.

Parents should get to know the people their children are spending time with, and learn who they are, what they believe, and the type of influence they will be. Parents should limit access to influences that are negative or go against the values and non-negotiables you've set as the standard for your family...and give them a moral reason WHY when they ask.

Having candid, open, honest conversations that become "teachable moments" is how we as a society stop raising monsters and start raising respectful, obedient, thoughtful, kind, considerate, well-behaved children that become a positive influence in the world around them.

This is how we set the next generation up for success, teaching them to lead themselves as values-based, servant-focused, transformational leaders who rise to their full potential in life.

This is LEADERSHIP, and it's the calling of every parent. The question is, will you rise to the occasion?

Leadership starts with YOU. If you're already leading, fantastic. If you're not, it is never too late to begin. This too is a teachable moment for your child, and it can start them on a new path of discovery that helps them become all they were put on this earth to become.

Your children will struggle to achieve success in life (and most will never achieve it) if they don't have a good role model, a mentor, a coach, who is encouraging, inspiring, challenging, and most importantly leading them.

Mom and Dad, that person is YOU!

Don't just be a parent, be a Black Belt Parent, and teach yourself and your children to live life with Black Belt Excellence.