Creating meaningful connections in a new country

Creating a well-connected network is sometimes harder than making a new friend, especially when you are an adult, and we all know how hard that is. It makes us feel awkward and uncomfortable. Some people are naturally good at it, and then there is us who most likely to overthink and complicate the situation in our minds and keep to ourselves in the corner. I can only imagine how much harder it might be if you are new to a country.

So, let us redefine networking, let’s drop the word networking entirely and call it creating meaningful connections. Instead of going to an event to make a business contact, go to be present and to make a friend potentially, and everything else will fall into place. Let’s get to know someone without the intention or expectation to receive something in return. Let’s establish authentic relationships. 

Why is it creating meaningful connections important?

I’m sure you’ve heard the quote “Show me your friends and ill show your future” - we are all a reflection of those who we choose to spend our time with. So we need to surround ourselves with people that inspire us, and we can learn from. Meaningful connections give us a sense of belonging and community, which is crucial when you’ve moved to a new country. 

What you can learn from these connections:

1. More about the NZ culture 
2. Learnings from their experience here
3. Sharing of struggles and successes 
4. Opportunity to learn and share new skills
5. Information sharing 

Everyone you meet has a story, experience and hardship we can all learn from. Creating a connection where we can all learn and share our experiences, struggles and successes are essential when you are new to a country. This community you surround yourself will help create a sense of belonging. 

Each person that crosses your path can be someone that you can learn from, don’t get caught up on the idea of meeting people based on their position titles as NZ is a small country as we only have 2 degrees of separation. Every person you know knows someone that someone else should know.

How do you create meaningful connections?

Well for starters, people are more than their job title, try to connect with people on non-work related interests such as sports, hobbies and passions, create a deeper connection. Especially with kiwis we love talking about everything, but work and small talk is our forte. Many of the relationships we make are on more of a personal level and then later used for work-related connections. It’s crucial to create trust and openness when meeting new people.

Here are some questions you can ask when you are at an event:

• What is your take-home from this event? 
• What were your highlight/s?
• What are your thoughts on…?
• What brought you here today?
• Ask for a recommendation to a similar event or give them one that you think they might find interesting. 

These questions can lead to finding out more about what a person’s interests/ passions are and can lead to a reason to connect later with them. Instead of promoting yourself while talking to people relate to them.

Listen more, talk less - Ask about who they are, how they started their career, what’s important to them, where their background or heritage is from. Finding out these details will help you find commonalities. Simple questions such as asking about someone’s weekend might give you an insight into hobbies and interests you may have in common.

Go to things that excite you because you’ll meet people that have similar interests as you do, making it easier to create lasting connections.

For those introverts out here:

If meeting new people makes you anxious, do a bit of groundwork before you go. Find out who is going to the event, conference, meet up etc. If there is a particular person you are interested in meeting, find out a bit more about them - making it easier to ask relevant questions that you are interested in connecting by. Linkedin is an excellent tool for this.

One of the easiest ways of creating meaningful connections is through reconnecting with old friends; this is perfect for those introverts that are around. A chance to catch up with a friend, but also find out about their experiences for all that you know they might have other people they can introduce you to in New Zealand. Through your old connections, there might be people who have made a similar journey; reconnecting can widen your community of support and create a new, but old friendships. 

As mentioned earlier, we all have a person that we know that someone else should know.

Quick tip - if you don’t like going on your own to an event go with a group to support each other or have your wing person, you can give you the confidence to talk to people.

Where to create meaningful connections:

It doesn’t always have to be work-related events and conferences it can be through hobbies and interests you have. We live in a society where there are communities of people for everything you can think of. The meetup app is excellent as you can find like-minded people at different events across the world. You never know who you might meet and how they can impact your life.

Here is a list of formal and informal places you can create new connections based on your interests, hobbies and passions:

• International Job Seeker 
• The leadership Grind 
• Future of Work New Zealand
• Ask a recruiter 
• Auckland outdoors 
• Auckland Hiking Group
• EMA events 
• PWC herald talks
• Datacom
• AUT
• The project
• University of Auckland
• Grid AKL
• Seek volunteers

These are only some possible options available for you, but you can change the search to your location. There are plenty of other ways available for you based on what you love, your hobbies and passions, not just in Auckland. 

Don’t forget you that through simple things such as bbq with friends, social gatherings, sports and through friends of friends you will meet people that can contribute to your journey, and you in theirs. You can always create and run an event on something you are interested in and share your knowledge and interests with others. 

Next time you are at an event take the pressure off yourself, talk to people like you would talk to your friends. Be present in the conversation and establish authentic relationships. Sometimes it takes time to build the courage to speak to people. Set yourself small goals such as going to regular events and slowly mustering up the courage to talk to people. Once you’ve made a new friend, they are more likely to introduce you to their friends which with wider your circle and you never know who you might meet and what opportunity might come your way!

Here are also some videos on that you might find helpful:

1. The art of active networking | Mark E. Sackett 
2. How To Hack Networking | David Burkus
3. An introvert's guide to networking | Rick Turoczy
4. Networking Basics: 8 Tips to Networking Without Being Fake

Thank you to the group that joined us at the recent meetup and for your helpful tips. Upcoming Thursday we will be focusing on skills. This includes hard/soft skills, what skills you've developed over the years through previous roles and ten skills NZ employers find valuable.

You can also link back to the previous post on "Sorry,you don't have local experience".

Until next time.