Creating Meaningful Change: A Habit-Focused Journey

Greetings, Thrive Guide Community!

As we embrace the new year, it's the perfect opportunity to hit the pause button, reflect, and also look forward. I firmly believe that the new year isn't the only time for this kind of introspection, but it's as good a time as any! Creating an ongoing habit of stepping back for reflection and planning is a powerful step, especially when we incorporate great tips from habit planning experts, like we will today.

A powerful question that helps me at this time of year is: What do I want to create more of in my life, and how are my habits helping or hindering my progress towards this?

One way to look at answering this question is using the 4 stage-Step back process and how the habits we take on either help, or hinder us at each stage:

1. Where are you now? - Assessing your current habits. Which ones uplift you, and which ones might need a makeover?
2. Where do you want to go? - Determining if your current habits align with your future aspirations.
3. How do you get there? - Identifying which habits you may need to continue, change, stop, or start to help propel you towards your values-led goals.
4. How do I keep on track? - Identifying key habits that act like rituals, sustaining your energy and progress, step by step.

In this process each stage builds upon the other, setting a foundation for meaningful change. Our exploration of habits isn’t just about the mechanics of change; it's deeply rooted in our aspirations and what we truly desire in life.

Expanding on the second stage, "Where do you want to go?", it can be beneficial to take time to really delve into what you want more of in your life. This isn’t just a surface-level Wishlist; it's about connecting deeply with your values, and what genuinely fulfills you. Perhaps taking a moment to ask yourself this question before proceeding may further help the process:

What is it that I truly value in this world, that if I could further connect to through my habits, will allow me to feel more fulfilled?

It's this deeper, emotional connection to your values that will provide the motivation and drive needed to persist through the early, often challenging, phases of habit formation.

Now, with this introspective groundwork laid, let's turn our attention to the wisdom of habit formation experts. Their insights can offer practical, actionable steps to align our daily habits with these deeper aspirations, creating a harmonious journey toward personal growth and fulfillment.

3 Expert’s Insights on Habit Formation

There are many people who contribute to the work on habits, and I have selected three whose advice has certainly helped me along the way! This list is just a glimpse at what these experts offer, and for more from them as well as others such as Charles Duhigg, Kelly McGonigal, or Stephen R. Covey perhaps starting a habit of spending 5-15 minutes a day exploring them on You-Tube, or reading a few pages from one of their books might tweak your interest and further help you form more powerful habits!

• BJ Fogg’s Tiny Habits:
• Start Small: Begin with habits so tiny they feel almost effortless. Want to read every night? Start with reading one page, or set a timer for 2 minutes.
• Celebrate Successes: Amplify positive feelings after performing a habit to reinforce it. Giving yourself a mental high five or a pat on the back lays down breadcrumbs of dopamine in our brain, helping us recognize that this feels great!
• Anchor Your Habits: Attach new tiny habits to established routines. BJ Fogg's tiny habits recipe approach is a game-changer and super easy to follow as a kickstart! (e.g., “After I turn on the coffee pot, I will do 10 push-ups, and then celebrate by patting myself on the back”). Feeling inspired? Feel free to use the template below to create your own custom habit!
• After/ before/ while/ when I _________, I will _________, and celebrate by ________.
• Judson Brewer’s Three Gears (With Curiosity) Approach:
• Gear One - Map out the Habit Loop: With curiosity, notice and write out what triggers the habit, the behavior the habit prompts, and the short-term reward the habit provides. Can you also see how the reward reinforces the behavior when the trigger comes up again?
• Gear Two - Getting More Curious: What am I really getting out of this habit? Lean into the habit with a curious mind. What is it really giving you short-term? How about long-term? Mindful, and compassionate curiosity, rather than judgment is key here!
• Gear Three - The Bigger Better Offer: What behavior could you substitute in the habit loop that can provide you even more of what you value? Brewer suggests that as a start, simply substitute the automatic behavior you were doing with being curious about the behavior itself. It’s like building an ongoing habit of internal curiosity and kindness!
• James Clear’s Atomic Habits:
• Focus on Systems: Develop systems that make performing good habits easier and more automatic, like putting out your workout clothes before going to bed. Implement strategies that make less healthy habits harder to do, such as placing your cell phone in another room when you go to sleep.
• Incremental Improvements: Embrace the idea of getting 1% better every day. Small, consistent steps lead to significant gains! Break bigger habits down into more manageable steps!
• Never Miss Twice: Let’s face it – sometimes we just don’t accomplish what we planned to in a day. The key is to get back on track and not miss your habit twice.

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A Personal habit I’m tackling this year- My Obsession with Checking My Phone!

Why am I writing this article? Well…it's to offer helpful information, but also as a reminder to myself. A reminder to keep on checking in on myself and that habits that I can easily fall into. Yes, I work with others to change challenging habits and implement more empowering ones, but I too fall prey to some challenging habits myself. And it's not just about knowledge; even with an understanding of our brain's habit-forming wiring, the pull of these habits can be strong.

So with that, lets take a step back together and check in with one of the habits I commit to working on in 2024.

Like many, I've struggled with the habit of mindlessly scrolling through my phone, especially before bed. So, I'm using the new year as a time to dust of my habit skills and to set the intention of exploring this habit and reducing the time on my phone!

It starts with asking myself: What do I want to create more of in my life, and how are my habits helping or hindering my progress towards this? I approach this with curiosity and kindness, recognizing that picking up and scrolling through my phone is a habit that provides a short-term reward. A reward of distraction, and perhaps a little comfort and entertainment from social media that is always there when I want it.

However, delving deeper, I see that although there's a short-term payoff, the long-term effects of spending this time on an endless loop of social media doesn’t align with my value of inner peace. In fact being on my phone can create inner dissatisfaction as I start noticing its brain numbing effects, the negative impact of comparing myself to others, and how all of this excess stimulation impacts my sleep for the night.

From here, I can choose from the habit tips mentioned earlier. For now, I'm committing to using BJ Fogg's Tiny Habit recipe, keeping it simple:

When I feel the urge to pick up my phone, I will ask myself (with curiosity) what this action will give me, and then celebrate by saying to myself, “Great work taking a pause here.”

I'm not saying that I'll never pick up my phone, or that this is all there is to changing this habit. Picking up my phone at the right times, and to use it for the amazing tool is great. This habit I'm starting with is more about building awareness. Awareness around when I am picking up the phone and using it as the tool to help me move forward, and awareness around when I am picking it up to simply distract myself with a quick burst of dopamine.

This expanded awareness can then help me build more inner-understanding, and explore alternate behaviors that will support me on my journey towards what I most value!

Conclusion: Embracing the Habit Journey Together

As we navigate through this year, let's often revisit that pivotal question: What do we want to create more of in our lives? Our habits are the building blocks of a values-led life. By approaching them with intention, curiosity, and a willingness to experiment, we not only open doors to new possibilities but also pave pathways toward the life we aspire to lead.

Remember, the essence of change is embedded in the small, everyday decisions we make. Whether it’s choosing to put down our phones for a meaningful conversation or dedicating a few minutes to a book, these tiny actions accumulate, collectively shaping our future.

A Call to Action: What small habit change are you willing to embark on today? How might modifying, stopping, or starting this habit help you move closer to your values and aspirations? Reflect on whether this is a journey worth embarking on. What's one small step you can take today to enhance your habits?

I encourage you to share your thoughts, ideas, or even the habits you're aiming to transform in the comments. This way, we can support each other in building a year filled with positive, lasting change. Let’s leverage the power of our community to inspire, motivate, and hold each other accountable.

Here's to noticing what's GREAT today!

Dave