Creating Inclusive Workplaces for Parents of LGBTQ+ Kids in 3 Questions

Long ago when I was still young, single, and free/foolish... I hated pregnant women. Truth be told, I hated parents, parenting, and everything about raising kids. Never mind that I love kids and have always loved them, it was their parents that I didn't care for.

As I grew up and started working, my dislike/hatred reached a fever pitch! Ooooh, I couldn't stand it when my coworkers (especially the moms) would request a day off for complications resulting from their pregnancy, or because their kids were sick! YIKES! Was that really me??

I hated having to cover for them! My thoughts were: "They chose to have babies, so, they should deal with it, that's not my problem". Hmmm. Sadly, I am not alone in this boat, according to this PubMed article, barriers often exist that restrict the promotion and advancement of mothers in the workplace. They are often penalized when attempting to meet the demands of parent and worker roles.

These "barriers" don't just drop from the sky like magic though, no, they are often placed by humans like me and possibly, you. Decision-makers, upper echelons, co-workers, supervisors, human resources folks, you name it.

And though, traditionally, working moms are often the targets of retaliation for working, enough research actually shows that even work-oriented fathers also catch some slack.

Here's the newsflash; gone are the days when moms stayed home and made pancakes and baked cookies. Today's mom is as hardworking, if not arguably more hardworking than many of her "father-figure counterparts", and that is not about to change any time soon.

Unfortunately, many, if not nearly all of the clients I work with are also moms. Like me, they are often carrying the burden of "everything" when it comes to raising and parenting their LGBTQ+ kids.

And with all the political, religious, and cultural "be-ehs" (yup, I made that spelling up) going around, organizations NEED to step up and do their part in seeing us as bonafide productive members of the employee force that we are. In today's rapidly evolving world, promoting inclusivity and support in the workplace has become a crucial aspect of fostering a positive work environment.

As organizations strive to be more diverse and inclusive, they need to recognize the importance of creating safe spaces for parents, including those with LGBTQ+ kids.

Soooo, how should forward-thinking companies approach this critical aspect of employee support? This week, I will share the top 3 questions you should be asking yourselves, and next week, we shall look at their responses, and how doing this one (tiny) thing benefits both individuals and the organization as a whole.

Question 1. What, if any, are your organization's current initiatives or policies regarding inclusion and support for parents of LGBTQ+ kids? Please note that this is not the same as initiatives directed toward the LGBTQ+ community at your place of work.

Yes, many parents of LGBTQ+ children suffer in silence, because they do not see themselves as members of the community (simply because they have children) and might therefore avoid these spaces.

Never mind that in my upcoming book, once you become a parent of a queer child, you immediately become an ally. But how many parents think that way? Too many of us rather become the opposite, antagonists…Another day’s topic…But sign up here to be notified when the book drops!

Question 2. What challenges or concerns do you think parents of LGBTQ+ kids face in the workplace? Is this even a thought that has ever occurred to you? Have you ever considered that some of your coworkers are in fact, parents of LGBTQ+ kids? Are you able to see how these parents have things pretty much magnified when compared to "other parents"?

Question 3. How does your organization perceive the importance of creating safe spaces for parents of LGBTQ+ kids in the workplace? Yup, let's go there. Like question 2, is this even a thought that comes up in your discussions? Do you have any idea what that would mean to a parent of a trans child for instance, that her boss sees her, as in really sees her?

In conclusion, I deeply regret those early days when I very much disliked my coworkers who were parents. I think it might have originated from some leftover unresolved “shomtins” from my childhood, who knows?

Today, I can clearly see the positive impact that supporting parents at work, particularly parents of LGBTQ+ kids, and most especially, gender-diverse kids, can have on the ultimate beneficiary, their child. It is truly something magical. I wish I could take those dark days back. However, we gon do our best together, to right some of these wrongs.

So, take a look at these questions I have presented to you today, and come back next week as we discuss your responses.

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Cheers!

Your Friend and Coach,

Dr. Lulu