Creating Healthy Social Habits as an Alternative to 'Money First' is Needed. First we must survive it.

As an activist in the D.C. area I was not naive to local naysayers. When death attempts began I freaked and hanging legs out fourth floor window, was taken to a safe place. Norman Bates now has me as a target. I did the act twice, and walked in hospital once. Why is this happening? No marginalized person (born in it as I, or became too traumatized to work, which is a segment of marginalized) has the right to come home and be functional.

As a response I am going back to mainstream with a message. Shame on You America. I have gone to the police to report the maintenance man coming through the orifices of my room in light fixtures, watching women in the shower, unlocking my blocked door in the middle of the night. "I'm sorry, I have a lot of calls I am missing. You can go now." Was the police response. I was born unwanted. You know, those people who Pro-Lifers love so much, but do nothing to protect after we are born?

Two days ago I went to the Crisis Center in Montgomery County, Maryland to see if possibly some humanity of compassion existed there - though I had never experienced it before. They were of the same opinion. "Do you realize how many people are waiting for those efficiency apartments?" I had spoken with a junior staff before requesting her supervisor. I assured the former her boss would pathologize me as paranoid. When she did I looked at her and smiled. "I told you she would do that, didn't I? I am done here." Her boss had accused me of being that dreaded creature, A WOMAN WHO WOULD DEFEND HERSELF. "You aren't going to hurt him are you?" What a eerily strange question. "I suppose if someone were making an attempt on your life you would just lie down and let them?" I exploded her accusation of my being a threat in incredulity. Not waiting for an answer, I announced I was finished with such a ridiculous conversation.

Confronting the administration of the Montgomery County for the Homeless building, Cordell Place, the director stated, "I thought it was a friend of your ex-husband that was after you." That was not an outcome I was expecting, but true. This man made himself known in a public place the following morning. Having become frustrated at tracking me, I suspect he has quit the job. There is nothing disrespectful in my character, and I am not afraid to die, and frankly I am too much work to kill. Why? You have to catch me first.

Coming to terms with ones own death is a process. Through these threats I have jumped through most of the hoops - even accepted the Martyr angle, but that isn't the Native way. Until this time I was unaware there are many things warriors and saints have in common. Before doing dangerous lifework one must first accept on a cellular level that death is involved in your work. THEN you have to decide which you will be a Martyr or a Warrior. Both have the same mentality of passion if REAL change is involved for integrity of a people. The difference is only one that fights for life, and one that lies down to accept it without response. The ONLY difference is response.

Accepting these cues as having come to the end of my research within the housed marginalized community, I became employed, and will now have a prism of jobs. Hopefully two that actually pay.

With weapons next to my bedside, vents blocked by mops, and anticipation for checks in the mail, the drama will hopefully subside. Dedicated to being a dreaded female daring to defend herself, I will by any means necessary. I chose not to visit my daughter's house today, the vibe is becoming all too creepy, and frankly I have enough on my plate.

With that being said, The Tribe is beginning portrait days. It began as a 'before' thought if I am attacked. I want connections to see the difference. Though not of the 'Selfie' generation, it was a necessary job. One will be the new profile pic. If I am attacked, that will be also. I want America to see visually what it has become internally. You should be ashamed.