Creating healthy empaths

Have you ever felt an overwhelming rush of sadness or joy while talking to someone? Or found yourself getting teary-eyed watching a TV show about rescue dogs? If these moments strike a chord with you, there's a chance you might be an empath, or perhaps have some empath tendencies.

Working in human services, I am surrounded by amazing people turning up each day to improve the lives of others. These people have compassion, empathy and some have even walked in the shoes of their clients. Yet just because they have empathy, it does not mean that they are also an empath.

Being an empath means experiencing emotions on a deeper level than others. It goes beyond empathy, where your heart goes out to someone else. Empaths "feel" more intensely, almost as if they absorb the feelings and emotions of those around them. Unfortunately, this can leave empaths feeling drained if they don't have effective strategies to detach from negative energy.

Empaths are highly attuned to their surroundings and everyone in it and are therefore aware of subtle changes that occur, and can easily become overstimulated by sounds, smells, noises and crowds. Unfortunately, this results in empaths absorbing other people’s good and bad energy, and without an effective strategy to detach from the bad stuff, it may leave them feeling depleted.

Some may judge this behaviour critically, perhaps believing that they need to ‘get a grip’ and better manage their own responses towards others.

Is it really that easy?

Not according to the research, which tells us that we can thank our mirror neuron system for our ability to tap into the emotions of others. This ability is like a superpower for some who are wired with hypersensitive mirror neurons that deeply connect with and understand the feelings of others. According to Dr Judith Orloff, it is not limited to feelings and some empaths may even become sick or start to feel the physical pain of others. She therefore coined the term ‘empathic illness’ to describe an empath’s experience of feeling another person’s symptoms as if they were their own.

As an empath’s mirror neurons are super sensitive, they may also become easily triggered by a range of events and situations due to their heightened ability to synchronize their mood with others. This ability enables them to build strong relationships with others, yet it has also shown that they more easily pick up the emotions of those around them. Empaths may therefore consider this to be a double-edged sword, with their bodies behaving like sponges as they absorb both the positive and the negative energy from those around them.

We have all experienced energy vampires – people who, sometimes intentionally, drain all our emotional energy and leave us feeling depleted. It is therefore important, particularly for empaths, that they protect themselves from energy vampires and over stimulation.

Keep an eye out for energy vampires in your personal and professional life, perhaps checking in with yourself after spending time with certain people.

• Do you feel more tired than normal?
• Has your mood changed?
• Perhaps you suddenly feel unwell or have the urge to eat something containing only carbs and sugar.

If so, chances are that you have been in contact with an energy vampire.

It may sound a little woo woo to some, however I actively create an invisible shield around me, particularly in the company of people who are known to leave me feeling depleted. Imagine it locking in around you, blocking out all the negative energy that may be coming your way in that moment.

Other strategies include taking notice of any changes in mood or physical state when around another person and checking in with yourself to gauge whether the symptom or emotion is yours or the other persons. Or it could be as simple as doing some breathing to circulate any negativity out of your body.??

Being an empath has its advantages. Empaths are deep, passionate, and compassionate individuals who truly understand and appreciate others' feelings. Their empathy makes them excellent managers and leaders, and they find solace in connecting with nature and animals. They are also loyal friends and can be positively energised when in the company of friends and family who inspire them. I am so fortunate to have a small number of amazing people in my life who truly inspire and motivate me in a way that is energising and uplifting, and it is therefore important to find ways to remain connected.

However, empaths face challenges due to being easily overstimulated, and should have strategies in place to relieve symptoms. For some, it is also essential for them to prioritise alone time to recharge. When feeling fatigued or overwhelmed, I often experience sensory overload—increased sensitivity to light, smell, taste, touch, temperature, and sound. To relieve these symptoms, I rest, create moments of solitude, and disconnect from devices. Spending time outdoors, pottering around in my gardens and finding quiet spaces away from bright lights and noise also helps.

If you're interested in learning more, check out Dr. Judith Orloff's work and take her empath self-assessment.

It is important for everyone, not just empaths, to understand how other people’s energy impacts on us, and particularly in a world filled with challenges, how to not take on the stress of others.?

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