Creating Disruption and Transformation Demands a Kind Leader. Here’s Why.

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Maybe it’s because I’m a woman. Or because I’m a mother.

I tend to approach things in a nurturing way. People sometimes tell me, “Charlene, you’re too nice.”

But I don’t believe being kind is a weakness; I believe it makes me a better and more effective leader.

On Tuesday’s livestream , I shared why the best disruptive leaders are kind and how you can harness the power of kindness to become a better leader. But first:

Why does kindness matter?

Our latest research from PA Consulting discusses on why cultivating kindness is important, especially if you’re trying to create disruption or lead a huge transformation.?

Early in my career, I saw firsthand how kindness is the most direct way to give people agency, encourage them to try new things, and do their best work. My leaders were kind and supportive, and took the time to understand who I was as a person . Their belief and interest in me gave me the confidence to experiment, make mistakes, and know that I’d be forgiven if I messed up. If they hadn’t exhibited that kindness, I wouldn’t have had the courage to come up with new ideas!

Research also shows that kindness releases serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine —chemicals that give you and the giver a helper’s high. And when we feel good, the people around us feel good, further feeding the culture of kindness.?

Sounds pretty great, right? Why wouldn’t you do this?!

Well, it takes a strong sense of self-awareness to be kind. One of the most difficult things to do when you’re faced with a challenge is understand your biases and natural instincts. But when you can see the big picture and show compassion, your kindness helps everyone become the best version of themselves.

A lot of people fear kindness makes them look weak. But the truth is it takes strength to be kind—and it’s absolutely worth the effort.

Kindness has tremendous benefits for everyone

It feels good to receive kindness, compliments, and praise , right? Knowing that people think highly of you is a huge confidence boost.?

But it’s not just meaningful to the person getting the recognition. When we invest in someone else’s well-being, it makes us feel better.?

It’s about more than feeling good though. Research shows organizations that have a culture of kindness experience tangible benefits, like:

• Loyalty – Employees express 36% more satisfaction with their jobs and are 44% more committed to their organizations. [Source ]
• Productivity – Employees report 26% more energy and were 30% more likely to feel motivated and enthusiastic about learning new skills. [Source ]
• Financial performance – Employees are twice as likely (52% versus 28%) to report their companies are performing well financially. [Source ]

And a study of 50,000 individuals and 3,500 companies found that small acts of kindness lead to higher productivity, efficiency, and lower turnover. So cultures of kindness lead to cultures of collaboration and innovation—two things we want as disruptive leaders.?

Five powerful ways to become a better, kinder leader

So, what traits and behaviors do kind leaders have? And how can we cultivate more kindness and reap the benefits? Here are five practices leaders can start implementing today:

1. Establish real relationships. All humans want to be known, seen, heard, and understood. As a leader, it’s your job to listen and be genuinely curious about your employees . Try asking what’s going on in their life or how they are. Then respond, “This is what I’m hearing. Did I get that right?” This shows you’re truly listening—and that you have empathy. This is especially true for people who may not be in the majority of your organization. As a woman of color, it means the world to me when leaders genuinely want to know what’s going on in my life.
2. Encourage growth. Think about how you can encourage people to reach their fullest potential. How can you offer your team opportunities to grow and self-actualize so they gain a higher sense of self-worth? Ask, “What can I do to support you in achieving your goals?” Avoid saying, “How can I best help you?” That implies they need help. “Support” says, “I know you’re trying your best, and you’re doing an amazing job. How can I support you in leaning into your strengths?”?
3. Have empathy. Empathy is one of the highest callings we can have as leaders because when we fully empathize with someone, we truly understand them. All it takes is a simple question: How are you doing? Checking in is especially important when things aren’t going well. Instead of immediately trying to fix a problem, make sure everyone’s okay. Trust that everyone is doing the best they can and no one is intentionally trying to fail.?
4. Practice general niceties. Express gratitude. Tell someone they’re doing a great job. Recognize people and their effort. One of the easiest ways to do this is to set aside time in meetings for what I call a kindness round. Ask if anyone would like to share a note of gratitude or recognition or if they have any words of praise for a colleague. It’s a quick way for leaders to set an example of saying thank you—and make everyone feel seen and appreciated.
5. Give honest feedback. I’ve shared why creating a culture of feedback is so important before: When you consistently give structured feedback in a kind and compassionate way, you’re supporting people’s growth and helping them reach their fullest potential. When you withhold feedback, you’re actually being unkind. You’re choosing not to share a piece of information that could help someone grow simply because you feel uncomfortable. Giving honest feedback demonstrates that you can be strong enough and confident enough in your relationship to give tough feedback in an empathetic way.

Some leaders are kind by nature. They’re compassionate and exercise empathy easily. But anyone can train themselves to be a stronger, kinder leader using these five practices—all it takes is a willingness to try.?

And just like kindness can be cultivated, so too can authentic purpose. Next week, I’ll be talking about developing authentic purpose—and how expressing it constantly and consistently can unite your organization. I’ll see you next Tuesday, June 28 , at 9 am PT!

Your Turn

How do you use kindness to be a better, more disruptive leader? What role does kindness play in creating the type of organization you want to see? How does it help you take on new audacious things? Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments—I’d love to hear how you’re leading in a new way! ??