Creating Change for the Better: Life Isn’t Fair
Life isn't fair,?and there are things beyond our control. So how do you make change––even
shocking changes, work for you?
In looking back, the greatest growth-spurts have happened for me in difficult times––getting a
divorce, having a loved one diagnosed with a chronic disease. In order to get through these
times, I had to reach out for help, and when I did, I was able to move through them––those
times are responsible for growing my "Inner Muscles."
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What other practical things helped me during times of rapid change and stress?
Accepting the things I could not control, and then taking small actions on the things that
were under my control. I love the serenity prayer: grant me the serenity to accept the things I
cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
If I’m spending lots of energy trying to control something that is not controllable, I’m only taking
currency out of the energy bank that I won’t be able to spend. Whereas, if I focus on what I can
control, I’ll have the energy to take action, and to move forward.
Keeping things simple––just taking the next right action, then another, and another!
Very often, they say we’re complicated people. And that’s true, we definitely are, but often the
situations we find ourselves in are not quite as complex. Many times, the solutions I’m looking
for are actually not as complicated as my overthinking mind would think. Keeping things simple
keeps the solutions in sight.
Realizing I had limited energy, and picking five things that I would focus on each day--
those were my top priorities.
Am I using my time wisely? Am I using my energy wisely? Keeping abreast of my time and
energy is so important, and being able to listen to my body’s cues both keeps me moving and
lets me know when I need to stand still. At the end of the day, if I can stop and really listen, I find
where my limits lie. Understanding that sometimes my body and my mind need to take a step
back, to recharge and return to this problem another day, keeps me from burning out.
Being good to myself, being kind. Treating me as if I would be my best friend.
How do I treat myself kindly? If I’m worried all the time––and let’s be clear, worry has no
productive results––then I am not using my time or energy wisely, and I’m not being good to
myself. If I find myself overthinking and worrying, I know I need to stop and change the channel.
Do something different: take a walk around the block, look at a picture of my son, call a friend.
When I treat myself kindly, everyone around me benefits from my good vibes.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, and who knows there may be a rainbow!
You may be interested in this article…How Stress affects the Brain
Question for you: What’s a practical tip that gets you through periods of stress and change?