Create a vision, not a resolution

The end of a year and the beginning of a new year is one of those natural endings and beginnings in life.

We don't always get to see and experience endings and beginnings so neatly. The New Year doesn't tend to have the same level of personal and emotional attachments as other endings and beginnings.

And this creates the space - with a little more distance or objectivity in a way - as a great time to reflect on:

- Where you currently stand in your life in the whole scheme of things,

- The road you have just travelled on over the last 12 months - what worked really well, what didn't, what you would do again, what you learned, what you want to leave behind, what you want to carry forward and what you want to begin,

- What this means for the road you want to travel ahead.

If we truly want to create change in our lives, I think the most significant question we need to ask ourselves is this - HOW do I best want to travel this path I am travelling in life?

Not so much the question of what do I think I want or need in my life, but how do I want to be living my life?

How do I best want to show up in the world?

What does living a truly purposeful, meaningful and fulfilling life look like for me?

What does success mean for me - the real success, the unconditional success, the kind that doesn't depend on the external world to be realised?

So much of our life is spent living lives that we don't really care that much for, doing things that don't bring us joy, feeling like we have been short-changed, desiring or chasing for things that bring us fleeting happiness, never really knowing who we are, what makes us tick, never making time for the things we love and are passionate about.

Not making time for developing a proper relationship with our self, not making time for our self care, not making time for the people we say we love, not making time for simply being.

The concept of Life Integration is this.

Everything is our life. Everything we do is our life. So when we try to say we have our work over here and it is separate from the rest of our life, then we are all doing ourselves a great disservice.

Successful life integration is achieved when we are clear on our vision for the whole of our life: for who we want to be, how we want to be living it and what we want the experience of our life to be like.

When we understand this, then we can allow our work to become a part of the living whole of our life, and not something separate from it.

We live fully integrated, balanced and harmonious lives when we are balanced within ourselves and across all of the different elements of our life. Work is just one element. The goal is to strive for balance within ourselves; mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually and socially - Life Integration asks us to make this our number one, non-negotiable priority - because if we are not good within ourselves, then how can anything else in our life be functioning at its best?

It's now been ten years since I found myself in a place in my life where nothing was really working in any area of my life. I was at home with two tiny kids, in an unhappy relationship, drinking every day, I was unfit and unhealthy, we had a lot of money stuff going on, I was unable to get work and I just remember waking up one day and thinking... how had this become my life? I was so deeply unhappy and I just did not know the way out. It was a truly sobering moment.

There was some part of me that knew that I had to look deep inside of me for what my life had become - that I had to own it, to take responsibility for it and that if I wanted things to change, then it was me that had to change. I decided to focus on one thing. On happiness. I just wanted happiness for my life.

And so the seed of The Happiness Hunter was planted. I started my own business, stopped drinking, and left my partner.

I became a seeker. I became an implementer.

I set a grand vision for my life. I became crystal clear on the person I wanted to be and the direction I wanted my life to take.

I took a lot of risks. I sacrificed a lot. I started getting out of my own way. I started giving as much as I could of myself to the world.

I absolutely learnt that the gift in life is in the struggle - that true happiness is to be found in the overcoming of obstacles and challenges in our lives and not in the absence of them. In the darkness is when we get to learn what we are made of.

I learned that true meaning in life comes through what we do for others; through generosity of spirit, providing compassion, comfort and support. I learnt that we are nothing without connection. We are more when we are connected to the truth of ourselves, to each other and to the world - to people.

I wanted to find a way to build time for me and exercise and connection into my business and started The Happiness Hunter walks. And then I started teaching all of what I was learning and implementing in my own life to others - I realised that with the business coaching and consulting I was doing, that it was never about the business, it was always about the people in the business. That is where the work needs to be done - if we get that right, if we can get the balance right within ourselves, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually, then the rest follows.

The Happiness Hunter teaches people how to change their lives and transform their approach to business. I really love what I do, I feel incredibly blessed to be able to do this work.

The thing is, if you want to achieve anything in life, you need to set goals. And then you need to break those goals down into daily actions. Anything else is just dreaming and wishing for things to be different.

Setting goals pushes you outside of your comfort zone (what if I fail, or what if I actually succeed?)

Breaking the goals down into daily actions makes anything achievable.

Taking the action highlights where your strengths and weaknesses lie and gives you feedback about yourself and where you can improve.

I have learnt that the achievement is not in the attainment of the goals, but rather the achievement lies in the person we become along the way.

Achieving the goal itself is like the icing on the cake.

If 2023 is the year when you have decided enough is enough and are ready to make some significant change, then this is my advice for you.

Don't set resolutions. Set a vision instead.

And know this. You have to want the change - deep within. If it's a surface desire, it will never happen.

You have to actively choose to change and you have to fully, 100%, no holds barred commit to the change.

It is a daily choice and a daily effort.

You need to understand your motivation for change - what are your drivers?

What do you actually want to change, why do you want to change and what do you want the change to look like?

The more clarity you have about your why, and the more connected you are to the person you want to become, then the more likely the change is going to be successful and sustainable.

The most important thing to understand about any change is that you are the only one who can actually make it happen. It is your responsibility.

And the change has to start in your mind. If you can get your mind in the right place with the change, then the right actions will naturally follow.

You need to find the lever within that is going to help you stay committed to the path you are on.

For me, what inspires me to live life the way I do is that I want to know my potential. I want to know, to really know me. I want to become the best version of myself that I possibly can. I want to do the right thing, even when it is hard. I want to live my life in peace - in inner peace, able to easily resolve my internal conflicts - and in peace with the world around me.

And in living like this, I get to inspire other people to want the same for their own lives.

If I look at what inspires me in others, it would be this: being courageous, being curious, being humble, not letting other people's opinions determine their actions and not being afraid to get it wrong, because this is how we learn.

I want to understand in the deepest part of my being what true happiness is, and the further along this path I am travelling, the more I am coming to know this.

That true happiness is in every single way, to be found within.

I want to leave you with this profound quote.

"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek" - Joseph E Campbell

And finally, if you have read this far, then I would say you are ready to discover the answer. If you would like to learn more about working with me, then send me a message or book in for a clarity call here .

It is worth it.

Love,

Fiona xxx