Crappy Conflict COSTS Organizations. But What Does Awesome Conflict Do?

“One misconception about highly successful cultures is that they are happy, lighthearted places. This is mostly not the case. They are energized and engaged, but at their core their members are oriented less around achieving happiness than around solving hard problems together. This task involves many moments of high-candor feedback, uncomfortable truth-telling, when they confront the gap between where the group is, and where it ought to be.” - Daniel Coyle, author of the Culture Code

This quote perfectly encapsulates the struggle we have with conflict at work. We want to eliminate it, but we can’t eliminate it. We lean into it, it burns us, we avoid it.

Obviously, conflict done poorly costs money, organizational cohesion, succession planning, and so much more. (More about the cost of conflict here.)

But when it clicks? It inspires. It’s a tough needle to thread without drawing a little blood.

So let’s all agree for a moment that we’re not promoting toxic, passive-aggressive, anxiety-inducing conflict. Rather, we are going to make the case for and outline how to get the potentially difficult, but rewarding, stimulating, expansive conflict that builds the highest-performing teams and organizations—past, present, and future.

So How Do You “Create” Awesome Conflict in Your Org?

RESPECT. TRUST. EMPATHY. VULNERABILITY. COLLABORATION.

That’s it!

I know that’s already a lot. But since conflict is inevitable and a key ingredient for organizational success, innovation, employee engagement, and more… it’s worth equipping your people (and work culture) with constructive conflict and communications skills.

Any organization that wants to have awesome conflict needs to prepare for it, practice it, measure it, and reinforce it.

So how do you do that?

1. Psychological Safety

Everything has to start with safety. Any initiative you try will only work if employees feel free to bring their voices to the conversation without fear of retribution. That means empowering employees to express their opinions, as well as creating rewards when people listen to and engage each other.

It’s tempting to think that you’ve got safety without laying it as a non-negotiable foundation. But if it’s not laid, initiatives will fall flat, merely empowering the loudest voices, and producing worse vulnerability for the weakest.

Organizations that value and grow psychological safety infuse it into their culture at every step - from onboarding to leadership development, to all-hands.

(Want more information? Reach out to us for a free consultation.)

2. Communication Training

While it can seem like a luxury rather than a need, soft skills training that teaches your people how to communicate goes a long way toward fostering transformative conflict while reducing costly demoralizing conflict. Misunderstandings happen less when employees meet every few months to explore how other team members want to give and receive information.

Great communication training builds community, increases discourse agility, and allows people to have a little fun while personalizing their team members' needs.

If, for example, team members are all trained in DiSC, and are aware of each other's styles, they can customize their communication style to that person’s style. If they’ve done Clifton Strengths, they’re more likely to appreciate the way another team member approaches a situation. Or if they’ve all filled out “How to Work With Me” manuals, they can adapt physical environments and volume levels to nurture wonderful conflict (and eliminate the crappy kind).

3. Conflict Training Programs

If you want to get more granular, training that specifically addresses conflict may address different styles of, benefits of, and common pitfalls of handling conflict.

In addition to developing essential skills such as active listening, empathy, and negotiation, the best conflict training programs allow participants to workshop real-life scenarios in session.

You’re struggling with how to tell your boss that their expectations are unrealistic? Let’s try it. While it’s not the perfect mimic, the adrenalin of role-playing in front of someone else does a great job of imitating the flood of hormones that would side-swipe you in a real-life conflict, helping you to practice navigating a conversation with that added layer of emotional stress.

4. Team Coaching Sessions

Another approach that builds on that idea of navigating conflict in real time is bringing a facilitator into your meetings to guide and coach team dynamics.

Not only do they model and shape how teams handle conflict within that meeting, but they encourage teams to approach conflicts as opportunities for innovation and collaboration afterward.

By learning how to have brainstorming sessions, prototype solutions, and iterate based on feedback, teams can co-create innovative approaches while improving their conflict techniques. Your team will come out with better solutions and more competitive products. And, they will come out with skills that build a more resilient and productive work culture overall.

5. Measurement

It can seem daunting to measure progress as you transform your organization into one of awesome conflict. Consider what data points you may already use, and add in measurements specific to how often someone speaks up, or what reaction they get when they do speak up.

You can add specific measures to pulse checks, employee engagement surveys, performance reviews, incident reports, and even one-on-ones. And once you have the data in, share it, have leadership talk about it, and hold people accountable for it.

It takes consistency and commitment from individual contributors to C-suite leaders to make the change work.

6. Restorative Practices

If things have gone further than is productive, or there are further questions, know that Mediation and Alternative Dispute Resolution offerings have evolved for the workplace.

Not only can restorative justice processes help the victim-perpetrator relationship, but it signals to employees that finding constructive, productive ways to negotiate conflict is important to the organization, reinforcing that foundation.

You may also consider retaining a conflict coach to be in the office once a month to “host” conflict conversations in real-time. After 6 months to a year, your team may even begin to look forward to the amazing power of conflict in addition to having more skills to engage in it successfully on their own.

Awesome conflict builds trust, fosters inclusion and diversity, and ignites innovation.

Awesome conflict builds citadel strength in individuals, leaders, and organizations.

Handled elegantly and respectfully, it’s a critical tool for growth that strengthens team dynamics and gifts organizations with competitive immunity.

Conflict doesn’t need to result in passive-aggressive behavior and unspoken tension. Prepare your teams with training and coaching. Support them with the tactical practice of awesome conflict. And then measure it and reinforce it again and again.

As conflict begins to be embraced as an opportunity for growth rather than an obstacle, you’ll see your teams transforming conflict into greater productivity, cohesion, and innovation.

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That's it for this month! Thank you for being a part of our community and playing an instrumental role in making work better for people and people better for work.

Evolve The Com is a consultancy specializing in building communication, culture, and conflict fluency in teams and leaders. Founded to make work better for people and people better for work, our solutions weave together the best of training and coaching to create real, lasting behavioral change.

By addressing the pressing issues of your team, your leaders and teams come to work more resilient, excited, and engaged, bringing your organization’s potential to life. Develop your employees into your organization’s most valuable asset, capable of driving amplified innovation and growth.

Get in touch with us to explore a strategy for your leaders, your teams, and your organization.