Crafting Compelling Narratives: The Art of Thick Description
INTRODUCTION
As one ventures into the realm of ethnographic research, the concept of thick description emerges as a captivating avenue, deeply rooted in the principles of interpretive anthropology, particularly championed by Clifford Geertz. This theory accentuates the rich, nuanced meanings within specific cultural practices, emphasizing the importance of understanding culture through its symbols, meanings, and contexts.
Aligned with Geertz's approach, the emphasis on the unique historical trajectories of nations and the necessity for "thick description" becomes increasingly apparent. His seminal works, including "The Interpretation of Cultures" and "Deep Play: Notes on the Balinese Cockfight," stand as testaments to his commitment to unraveling the layers of symbolic meanings in human societies.
Through Geertz's lens, culture emerges as a complex "web of significance," where each action and artifact holds profound meaning within its socio-cultural context. His descriptions of everyday rituals, ceremonies, and behaviors not only make the unseen palpable but also reveal the tangible aspects of daily life.
Moreover, Geertz's belief in the profound impact of cultural understandings on behaviors and interpretations resonates deeply with the core assumptions underlying thick description. Just as Schein emphasized artifacts, Geertz's descriptions delve into the tangible aspects of the everyday, illuminating the intricate tapestry of human culture.
In the quest to grasp the essence of thick description, individuals delve into Geertz's seminal works. Here, he meticulously dissects everyday rituals and behaviors, revealing their underlying symbolic significance.
As individuals engage in the process of thick description, their cognitive faculties sharpen, enhancing their ability to perceive and interpret the world around them. Engaging with abstract concepts and exercising creativity stimulates various regions of the brain, including the prefrontal cortex, responsible for higher-order cognitive functions such as reasoning and problem-solving.
Studies have shown that engaging in creative activities can promote neuroplasticity—the brain's ability to reorganize and form new neural connections. By challenging oneself to explore novel ideas, individuals effectively strengthen their brain's neural pathways, enhancing cognitive resilience and adaptability. Recent neuroscience research highlights the profound impact of engaging in creative activities on the brain's neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity refers to the brain's ability to reorganize and form new neural connections in response to experiences. Creative endeavors, such as ethnographic research or artistic expression, have been found to effectively promote neuroplasticity.
When individuals immerse themselves in creative activities, various brain regions, including the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus, are activated. These regions are responsible for higher-order cognitive functions, such as reasoning and memory. Engaging in creative pursuits stimulates neural networks associated with these functions, strengthening cognitive resilience and adaptability.
Creative activities often involve uncertainty and ambiguity, which challenge the brain to find innovative solutions. This process stimulates executive functions, enhancing cognitive flexibility. Over time, individuals who regularly engage in creative pursuits develop more adaptive thinking patterns, facilitating navigation of complex situations.
Moreover, creative activities promote neuroplasticity in the hippocampus, enhancing learning and memory functions. Actively engaging with new ideas stimulates the growth of new neurons and strengthens existing neural connections. This contributes to overall brain health and vitality.
In summary, engaging in creative activities fosters neuroplasticity by stimulating various brain regions and promoting the growth of new neural connections. This enhances cognitive resilience, adaptability, and overall well-being. Incorporating creative pursuits into daily life is valuable for maintaining cognitive health and lifelong learning.
In essence, the pursuit of thick description and the exploration of abstract worlds enrich our understanding of culture and society while also contributing to the overall health and vitality of our brains. Embracing the power of thick description and creativity nurtures not only the unraveling of the mysteries of human culture but also one's cognitive well-being.
STEP BY STEP
Let's consider a short biography I wrote of Prof. Djumilah Hadiwijojo in https://lnkd.in/gTYQcHj7 "Beyond Marbles and Fields: The Role of Childhood in Shaping the Leaders of Tomorrow" to illustrate the "thick description" style.
1. Choose the Right Setting and Characters
In thick description, we are supposed to describe things in great detail, the setting and characters should be compelling and intriguing enough to warrant such attention. Whether it's a haunted house or a distant planet, it should be something that you can describe vividly.
a. Setting:
The narrative unfolds in Malang, an elite area where Prof. Dr. Djumilah Hadiwidjojo resides. The setting extends to her beautifully maintained garden and the classroom environment where she nurtures and teaches her students. This backdrop provides a physical and emotional context that supports the narrative of a life dedicated to education, compassion, and humility despite personal success and recognition.
b. Character: Prof. Dr. Djumilah Hadiwidjojo, SE
2. Use All Five Senses
We are to engage the reader through sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touch. Make sure your descriptions are multisensory to create a fuller experience. This can help bring the story to life and create a more immersive experience for the reader.
In the early 1950s in Blitar, Djumilah's childhood unfolded under a vast, open sky, where the scent of freshly cut grass mingled with the earthy aroma of rain-soaked soil. The game of marbles was a daily ritual, a cherished moment with her older sibling and two younger ones, where the earth was their playground and marbles were their treasure. Djumilah, marked with the initial "D" in the sketch, was a spirited presence among them, her laughter ringing clear as the sound of marbles clinking together.
Their attire, the practical 'celana monyet', was a signature of the times—functional shorts suited for the rough and tumble of play, disregarding the usual gender norms of dress. Their hair, cropped short, spoke of the no-fuss, down-to-earth upbringing they shared, their mother's hand ensuring they were neat and unencumbered by vanity. The warm sun beat down on their backs, adding a gentle heat that was as comforting as the smell of their mother’s cooking wafting from the open windows.
a. Sight: Descriptions of the vast, open sky and the visual imagery of Djumilah and her siblings playing marbles provide a vivid scene.The specific mention of their attire, 'celana monyet', and the detail of their hair being cropped short add visual depth to the setting and characters.
b. Touch: The tactile experience is highlighted through the earth serving as their playground, suggesting the feel of the ground beneath their hands.The warmth of the sun beating down on their backs adds a sensory layer of touch, suggesting the heat and texture of their environment.
c. Sound: Djumilah's laughter and the clinking of marbles enrich the narrative with auditory elements, making the scene more dynamic and alive.
d. Smell: The scent of freshly cut grass and rain-soaked soil brings the outdoor setting to life with natural aromas.The smell of their mother’s cooking wafting from the open windows introduces a homely and comforting aroma, grounding the story in familiar and nurturing scents.
e. Taste: The taste of victory in their games is likened to the sweet taste of sugared mango slices, directly tying the sense of taste to the children's experiences and emotions.
3. Show, Don’t Tell
Rather than simply telling the reader what's happening, show them through descriptive language and action. Use specific details and concrete examples to paint a picture in the reader's mind. For example: instead of saying "it was a stormy night," you could describe how the wind howls through the gaps in a rickety wooden door, or how sheets of rain slap against the window panes.
For an authentic demonstration of "show, don't tell" let's consider an excerpt from the biography in point 2
The description of the snake, the fields, and the people's attempts to cope with the heat further immerses the reader in the scene, creating a tangible sense of place and time.
In crafting narrative descriptions, the key is to engage the reader's senses and emotions by presenting specific, vivid details that allow them to experience the scene for themselves, rather than merely providing factual information. This technique draws readers deeper into the story, making the narrative more engaging and memorable.
4. Focus on the Details
Instead of describing "short hair" the biography mentioned:
"Their hair, cropped short, spoke of the no-fuss, down-to-earth upbringing they shared, their mother's hand ensuring they were neat and unencumbered by vanity.
Use specific details and avoid vague language. Instead of saying "the snake scared her" or "she got caught with a snake", say
"Prof. Djumilah recalls that in a peaceful Blitar landscape, the sun sits high as young Djumilah makes her way home from high school through the sprawling rice fields. It's noon, the time when the world seems to pause under the heat, and the paddies are a sea of tranquility. Her steps are light, her mind perhaps wandering through the day's lessons or the promise of a restful afternoon.
Suddenly, her calm return is shattered by an encounter with a fearsome serpent. In a moment of primal fear and adrenaline, Djumilah's feet carry her away in a frantic dash. Her school bag, once a mere accessory, swings wildly by her side, keeping rhythm with her racing heart.
This memory, etched in the stark lines of the sketch, captures more than just a moment of fear; it's a testament to the vibrant dance of life and danger that was everyday existence in the rural heart of Indonesia. The snake, a potent symbol of the perils that lay hidden in the beauty of the natural world, becomes a pivotal character in Djumilah's journey from youth to adulthood.
Her flight across the paddy fields is a story shared in hushed tones and laughter, a shared experience of the trials of rural life. It's a single thread in the rich mix of her childhood, where every path home was an adventure, and every day was a lesson in the delicate balance of living in harmony with nature
These details help the reader to "see the snake" and to feel the "level of worry from a little girl".
Here's another example:
Every day, Djumilah's education took place not only within the walls of a house and a school but also in the expansive fields behind her home. The paddies were her study hall where she could shout out her lessons without restraint, far from the din of her lively household. Her study breaks were marked by the simple, wholesome sustenance of boiled cassava, peanuts, and bananas—earth's bounty that fueled her learning.
In those times, her world was a safe haven, starkly different from the uncertainties of today. At night, the adventure continued as Djumilah, guided by her older brother and accompanied by her younger brother, would leap from windows to hunt for crickets in the fields. Disguised with hats, sarongs, and shirts by their resourceful mother, they became indistinguishable from the boys of the village, free to explore the nocturnal wonders.
Bathing in the river and joining in the football games, Djumilah was an integral part of this communal play. Her skin bore the deep tan of countless days under the sun, and her robust laughter echoed the uninhibited spirit of her youth.
In this example, the detailed descriptions aim to create a rich, immersive experience of the padi fields and gubug in a way that engages the reader's senses and emotions.
领英推荐
While those exposures above are private and only Prof. Djumilah remembered and I have no intention to triangulate them, it provides me a strong presence of what kind of exposure and environment that shape her to become what she has been and she is now.
5. Use Strong Verbs and Adjectives
Words like "sustenance, indistinguishable, etch, sprawling, tranquility" can make your descriptions more powerful. However, avoid going overboard; the aim is to enrich the narrative, not to turn it into a thesaurus exercise. Let's dissect more from the short biography:
a. Strong Verbs:
Unfolded: "Djumilah's childhood unfolded under a vast, open sky," suggesting a gradual revelation or development over time.
Mingled: "Where the scent of freshly cut grass mingled with the earthy aroma of rain-soaked soil," conveys the intermixing of different scents.
Ringing: "Her laughter ringing clear," implies a clear, resonant sound that is unmistakable.
Shout out: "She could shout out her lessons," suggests a loud, unrestrained form of speech.
Carry away: "Djumilah's feet carry her away in a frantic dash," indicates a swift, compelled movement.
Etched: "This memory, etched in the stark lines of the sketch," conveys a strong, indelible impression.
Leap: "Would leap from windows to hunt for crickets," suggests a sudden, energetic movement.
b. Strong Adjectives:
Spirited: "Djumilah, marked with the initial 'D' in the sketch, was a spirited presence," describing her as lively and full of energy.
Practical: "Their attire, the practical 'celana monyet'," indicates functionality and usefulness.
Warm: "The warm sun beat down on their backs," creates a sensation of gentle heat.
Expansive: "In the expansive fields behind her home," suggests a wide, open area.
Peaceful: "In a peaceful Blitar landscape," evokes a sense of tranquility and calm.
Fearsome: "Encounter with a fearsome serpent," conveys a sense of danger and intimidation.
Stark: "Etched in the stark lines of the sketch," implies clear, sharp contrast.
Nocturnal: "Free to explore the nocturnal wonders," refers to activities or occurrences during the night.
Robust: "Her robust laughter echoed," describes her laughter as strong and hearty.
6. Use Figurative Language
Metaphors, similes and other forms of figurative language can help to make your descriptions more interesting and engaging. They can add depth to your descriptions. For example, “The lake was a mirror, reflecting the towering pines.”
Metaphor: "The earth was their playground and marbles were their treasure." This metaphor compares the earth to a playground and marbles to treasure, highlighting the simplicity and joy found in childhood games."The paddies were her study hall," metaphorically transforming the rice fields into a place of learning, emphasizing the natural environment as a space for education and growth.
Personification: "Her laughter ringing clear as the sound of marbles clinking together." While primarily a simile, this phrase also personifies laughter as something that can 'ring clear,' giving it a tangible quality."The sun sits high as young Djumilah makes her way home," personifies the sun with the ability to sit, adding a sense of companionship to her journey.
Simile: "A gentle heat that was as comforting as the smell of their mother’s cooking wafting from the open windows." This simile compares the warmth of the sun to the comforting smell of home cooking, linking the sensation of physical warmth to emotional warmth."Her school bag, once a mere accessory, swings wildly by her side, keeping rhythm with her racing heart." This simile compares the swinging of her bag to the rhythm of her heart, vividly describing her fear and panic.
Hyperbole: "She could shout out her lessons without restraint, far from the din of her lively household." This exaggeration emphasizes the freedom and expansiveness of her outdoor 'classroom,' contrasting it with the noisy confines of her home.
Imagery (though not strictly figurative language, it's closely related and worth noting for its sensory descriptions): "The scent of freshly cut grass mingled with the earthy aroma of rain-soaked soil," provides a vivid sensory experience that invokes the smell sense."It's noon, the time when the world seems to pause under the heat, and the paddies are a sea of tranquility," offers a visual and sensory description that paints a peaceful, almost ethereal picture of the midday pause in rural life.
These examples of figurative language enhance the narrative by drawing on the senses, emotions, and imagination of the reader, creating a more engaging and memorable storytelling experience.
7. Be Mindful of Pacing
While detailed descriptions can be engrossing, they can also slow down the action. Make sure to balance descriptive passages with action and dialogue to maintain a compelling pace.
8. Vary the sentence structure:
Using a variety of sentence structures can help to keep your writing interesting and engaging. Mix up long and short sentences, use complex and simple sentence structures, and play with punctuation to create a rhythm and flow to your writing.
The narrative beautifully illustrates the technique of varying sentence structure to enhance rhythm, flow, and readability. Here are examples demonstrating the use of long and short sentences, as well as complex and simple sentence structures, complemented by effective punctuation:
a. Mix of Long and Short Sentences:Long: "In the early 1950s in Blitar, Djumilah's childhood unfolded under a vast, open sky, where the scent of freshly cut grass mingled with the earthy aroma of rain-soaked soil."Short: "Her steps are light, her mind perhaps wandering through the day's lessons or the promise of a restful afternoon."
b. Complex and Simple Sentence Structures:Complex: "Every day, Djumilah's education took place not only within the walls of a house and a school but also in the expansive fields behind her home, where the paddies were her study hall where she could shout out her lessons without restraint, far from the din of her lively household."Simple: "Suddenly, her calm return is shattered by an encounter with a fearsome serpent."
c. Play with Punctuation to Create Rhythm and Flow:Use of commas for rhythm: "In those times, her world was a safe haven, starkly different from the uncertainties of today."Use of a dash for dramatic pause and emphasis: "Her flight across the paddy fields is a story shared in hushed tones and laughter—a shared experience of the trials of rural life."
These examples from the narrative demonstrate how varying sentence lengths and structures, along with thoughtful punctuation, contribute to a more dynamic and engaging storytelling style. The blend of long, descriptive sentences with short, impactful ones helps to maintain the reader's interest and evoke a vivid picture of Djumilah's childhood experiences.
9. Be consistent:
Make sure your descriptions are consistent throughout the story. Use the same level of detail and sensory language throughout to create a cohesive narrative. Now, to ensure consistency in descriptions, maintaining the same level of detail and sensory language throughout the narrative, let's refine the story with a uniform approach to storytelling:
In the early 1950s, Blitar unfolded under a vast, open sky, a backdrop to Djumilah's vibrant childhood. The earth, rich with the scent of freshly cut grass and rain-soaked soil, played canvas to her and her siblings' daily ritual of marbles—a game treasured as much as the marbles themselves. Amidst this idyllic setting, Djumilah, marked with the initial "D" in the sketches, radiated a spirited energy, her laughter harmonizing with the soft clinks of marbles.
Adorned in 'celana monyet', their practical attire defied the era's gender norms, symbolizing a childhood unburdened by societal expectations. Their uniformly cropped hair, a testament to their mother's pragmatic yet loving care, brushed against their necks as they moved, free and unfettered. The sun's warmth, as comforting as their mother’s cooking scent drifting from home, embraced them, knitting together a tapestry of carefree days and nurtured spirits.
Education for Djumilah wasn't confined to the four walls of her home or school but extended to the sprawling fields behind her house. There, among the paddies, she freely voiced her lessons, a stark contrast to the lively chaos of her household. Breaks were punctuated with nature’s simple gifts—boiled cassava, peanuts, and bananas—fueling her body and mind alike.
One afternoon, as she navigated the tranquil paddies, a sudden encounter with a serpent snapped the serenity. The incident, a stark reminder of life's unpredictable dance with danger, propelled Djumilah into a flurry of movement, her school bag swinging in tandem with her accelerated heartbeat. This moment, forever etched in memory, symbolizes the delicate balance between the beauty of the natural world and its latent perils.
Shared with laughter yet underlined by a shared resilience, her sprint across the fields became more than a tale of fear; it was a rite of passage, a thread in the rich fabric of her childhood, woven with adventure and lessons in coexistence with nature.
As dusk fell, the adventure didn't pause. Guided by her older brother and flanked by her younger, Djumilah would leap into the night, their mother's ingenuity disguising them for cricket hunts in the fields. Bathing in the river and mingling in football games, she was a seamless part of this communal canvas, her laughter a beacon of youthful exuberance.
This refined version of the narrative ensures consistency in the use of detailed and sensory language, creating a cohesive story that vividly captures the essence of Djumilah's childhood. By maintaining a steady flow of descriptive elements and sensory details throughout, the narrative offers a harmonious and immersive reading experience.
10. Revise, Revise, Revise
The first draft is just that—a draft. You will likely need to prune excessive descriptions and enhance those that need more depth. After you've written your story, go back and revise it to make sure your descriptions are clear and effective. Cut out any unnecessary words or details, and make sure your language is precise and evocative.
For further review on basic story telling please refer to https://lnkd.in/gK-3AKdf
Thanks Ir. Sanggam PP L GAOL CSCP-F, CLTD-F, CPSM, IPU , Vito Christian Samudra , Azalia Imani