Cracks in the Family?Portrait

Hello, father,

I learnt the lessons you wished to teach, I fear the world now. Sometimes I downright hate it, Not because I want to, but because I don’t fit. I feel like a weirdo most of the time, Other times I am so confused, And if it is not one or the other, It’s simply being so lonely, Lost in thoughts, I am not living anymore just thinking,

I guess I did want to be loved by you, I did want the presents and to be taught how to drive.? I am afraid of cars now, do you know that? I still can’t drive.

A part of me is still hoping, Hoping you will find yourself soon enough to find me too, To teach me, But where I am going with this is plagued by madness, Because the liquid in a bottle became your life, Your family.

So I keep asking myself over and over again, Why wasn’t I enough for you? Why didn’t you fight for me? Why was it so easy for you to let go? And I know it’s not me, it’s definitely you, But the pain is real and so is the emptiness…