Cracking up

Emotional resilience is one of my favourite topics. Not the least because I had to dig deep, especially in the last year, to keep up with life and its high expectations.

It’s not easy. It’s not easy for a 40-something year old, but it’s a lot less easy for a 20-something one.

My new Gen Z friend Lucia (no, not her real name) reminds me exactly why that is the case.

“We just don’t have the life experience to weather the storms”, she admits. “Living in the digital world means that you can’t escape the opportunity to compare yourself with everyone else – who always seems to do better!”.

“’Seems’ is the instrumental word here”, I wade in with my wisdom.

“Whatever. They look happy, and my life is miserable. And I’ve not yet learned coping mechanisms. I’m a failure until I remember that I am not – this is my coping mechanism for now!”, poor Lucia is almost crying.

“Forgive me for this unsolicited advice, but I really do think I know the solution”, I’m sure I come across unusually forceful at that point. “It’s like all couples seem to be happy until you get to know them better”, (ha ha ha,.. but Lucia is staring at me blankly), “…anyway, the solution I wanted to offer is to get connected with people offline more. Human communication is a really powerful thing: good conversations, face-to-face and conducted with empathy, are healing. But they also make us realise that what we post online is sooo far removed from what we experience offline! The faces without filters are just as different as the lives that we lead in the real world compared to what we choose to show online”.

“I don’t always find it that easy talking to people face to face”, admits Lucia. “It can make me feel really uncomfortable.”

“Which is normal, to be frank. But you know, the effort will be worth it. Human connection is the most natural thing and, evolutionary speaking, the most essential – some say more essential to our survival than anything else!”

This is true, by the way. That is why the skills that allow us to connect with people, to network and to communicate are essential. Yes, essential, no less.