Covid Shame - the impact on the next stage

Headlice outbreak in schools and coronavirus in the under 50s– what do they have in common? Answer - Victims having a false sense of fault, shame and secrecy. Whilst it may seem a crude comparison, the shame many are feeling over having covid is a problem and a problem that is becoming more significant.

If you have had children at primary school you will appreciate the never-ending cycle of nits which is caused by people not sharing the information that they have nits, not checking (for a coronavirus comparison, read testing) and not keeping hair tied up (read isolation). Over the years a child in my daughter’s class has, on more than one occasion, whispered (heads close together) that her mum had told her not to tell anyone but she has head lice. The mum has never reported it to school, has told her daughter to stay quiet and denied her daughter having it when it has finally been reported to the school by another family suffering. Her shame has resulted in the start of an epidemic which can last months.

I am finding that those who have experienced coronavirus without requiring hospital care are taking a similar stance. Staying quiet, not telling others they have had it and if they do mention it, they immediately offer a “blame” explanation of how someone else’s behaviour caused them to be infected. In reality, very few people will be able to identify where they picked up the virus: did the schoolteacher get it at school or in the supermarket, on the walk with a friend, or the takeaway? Politic views and a feeling of shame influences the story told: if told at all.

On 1 June, various restrictions in the UK were relaxed and changed, moving us into the next phase of coronavirus management. To allow that to happen the government, finally, months behind countries that have successfully squashed the virus, introduced a contact tracing system.

Briefly, the principles are that if you are tested positive for coronavirus you log your details either on a website or with an NHS Tracer. You are asked to log details of where you have been, and whom you have been in contact with for more than 15 minutes at a distance of less than 2m. The NHS Tracer will then contact those people, keeping your identity anonymous, to inform them they now need to self-isolate for 14 days.

On hearing this process, with no scientific background, or relevant qualifications, I immediately sucked in my breath and shook my head. This process will not work. It will not work because it requires people to be compliant. To go back to the nits comparison (itching yet?), since schools stopped having the nit nurse visit to check every head, it has been left to parents to check and inform others which means that nits seem in permanent residence from Year 1 to Year 4. The shame of having nits, with the stigma they are attracted to dirty hair, means they stay quiet. Track and Trace only work if people get a test, are formally recorded as having the virus and are prepared to be honest about whom they have been in close contact with. Unless using public transport, it is unlikely that if you have followed the guidance you have a valid reason to have had close contact with anyone, meaning that to enter the system you need to admit you have behaved illegally, or contrary to guidance.

During the winter months, my socmed feed fills with “woe is me” posts of people suffering from flu, often “man-flu” and being on the sofa under a blanket. A bout of flu is talked about, sympathised with and is nothing to be ashamed of. Coronavirus is spread, pretty much the same way. Through touching fomites (I actually learnt that word through watching Contagion, not the daily press conferences) then touching your face, through sneezes and coughs spreading droplets in the air, and through being physically close to people who have flu germs. Whilst coronavirus is more contagious, the general principles apply. No one feels shame or embarrassment having flu.

People are not talking about having coronavirus. People are not posting on SocMed when they get coronavirus. I know what my 300 Facebook friends have had for dinner most days, and what boxsets they have watched, but only one has noted that she has had the virus. I see people posting when they are diagnosed with cancer but not when they are tested positive for coronavirus. (To acknowledge there are of course people who do not share every detail of their life on FB whether Coronavirus related or not, but you get the idea of what I am saying.) The difference comes down to shame – a shame that is so great it has been given a name: Coronavirus-Shame.

-         The language that is being used can encourage shame. Being labelled a superspreader brings to mind the days of the plague and the ringing of a bell with calls of “unclean”. 

-         The assumption that if you get coronavirus you must be a covidiot: defined as “someone who ignores the warnings regarding public health or safety”. If you get coronavirus, surely it means that you have broken the Law and ignored regulations? That instead of self-isolating at home, in a mist of baking flour and box sets, you have been gallivanting, flaunting the rules and licking people’s faces.

-         Finger-pointing and blame are rife on social media. The recent queues of people on the beach at Dorset an example of how people can (remotely) point the finger and declare, “They are responsible for deaths in care homes and spreading the virus”. If we can accuse others and point the finger so easily, what happens when we fall? We assume that others will point their fingers at us, and accuse us of being covidiots and receiving our just deserts.

-         If we get coronavirus surely it is because we haven’t sung Happy Birthday for long enough and not washed our hands often enough? We must be dirty and have poor hygiene. Strangely no one thinks that when we get flu, just coronavirus.

We hear death numbers every day in the news but we don’t hear about the thousands (perhaps millions? Who knows? Seriously, who does know?) who have suffered mildly, at home, and recovered as they would from bad flu. The government has no idea. We, as a society have no idea, as no one is talking about it.

Coronavirus shame is damaging. At a time when someone is ill, worried about their health, and their family, they should not be feeling guilt and shame. Not only is it damaging to their mental wellbeing but also it will damage track and trace.

You could argue that coronavirus shame would stop you contacting people yourself, so being able to stay anonymous yet warn them of the potential infection risk would encourage the track and trace system to be used. Two flaws: 1. You need to acknowledge that you have coronavirus and get a positive test to be officially on your record. 2. You risk your “close contacts” working out you “disappearing” for a few days means you are the infector / the superspreader / covidiot. Those who have used the system have reported two to three contacts so it’s not going to be hard to work out why you are getting a call and who to point a finger at.

Coronavirus shame is likely to discourage people from being tested because of those flaws. Indeed the BBC reported last week that not enough people showing coronavirus symptoms are ordering a test and the government acknowledges that the numbers with the virus are very different from the official figures.

It’s hard to know where this shame has come from. (Anyone who was at school in the 80s with the “Nit Nurse” making a public declaration in front of classmates that you have nits is fully aware where that shame comes from). Social Media must be a significant contributor. The changes in Law and guidance producing a new word – Covidiot–must contribute. Fear of the virus must contribute. Recent press coverage on the virus being more prevalent in deprived areas will contribute.

Ironic that just a few weeks before lockdown, social media was used to promote “Be Kind” following the tragedy of Caroline Flack’s death. Yet it quickly turned into a vehicle of blame, shame and anger, as people in lockdown had no other channel to vent their emotions. I’ve joined in numerous times. I have felt such frustration and anger at photos of grandparents having afternoon tea with family or crowds on the beach believing that their actions could put me and mine in danger. The people who are behaving like that don’t care about the rules, and will not change their behaviour whatever response social media gives to them. The impact that the anger does have is to install and enforce coronavirus shame, on those who have just been in the wrong place at the wrong time for a minuscule cell to enter their mucus membrane and make them ill. We don’t blame people for catching flu and we don’t blame people for giving us flu so why are we doing that with coronavirus?

I’m limiting my social interactions to twice a week in the hope that my “48 hours before symptoms” contacts will be very limited. I’m being “alert” to 2m: walking with a friend at 2m is impossible, and even sitting in a group at that distance is challenging. I hope that when I get coronavirus I will not feel the pressure of coronavirus-shame, will be tested, inform track and trace, and even have the courage to tell my contacts directly. 

If we can’t stop coronavirus shame, we will not be able to stop the spread of the virus. It may become a “secret illness” for a while until we hit winter. Then we will see the second spike, the NHS won’t be protected and the death numbers will rise.

It is a myth that head lice are only attracted to dirty hair. They like hair – clean, dirty, short, long, brunette or blond. Undiscriminating. It is a myth that everyone has done something reckless or contrary to guidance if they get coronavirus. Remove the shame. Track, Trace, Isolate.