COVID AND MENTAL HEALTH

Covid and Mental health

Well now let’s see first-hand now how Covid and the news/social media can have some serious affects on individuals, I can only reflect on how it’s been for myself but I think sometimes it is important for others to read and know they are not alone!

Whilst I am shattered and now coming out the other end of Covid now day ten inn, I am still shattered but sleeping and I can breathe through my nose.

I think that having been in this hole as a family I can say with Gusto that we are fed too many snippets of information that is not good when you are alone – due to self-isolation with your thoughts, worries, anxiety and concerns. ??The panic when you see positive on a test (not even your own) and the anger that it can also generate.

I could do a day-by-day exposure, however that wont really help as everyone is different, what I will say is that when my visiting step son was positive 12 days ago – fear hit home fast (at this point my husband was also coughing a lot!).?Being overweight (You don’t know my history don’t judge!), early diabetic, cancer in the past, IBS and low kidney function did I panic – yes, I did!

I panicked because I had seen my mother 1 day before (although we did mask up thankfully and not cuddle!) call it premonition. ?My mother has heart issues and is 77 years old!

I panicked because I thought that is it the media tells me I am most likely to die from this (even though I am double jabbed) the fear still hits.

I am scared to talk to my family and tell them, some wouldn’t care others will panic too – but I have to tell my daughter she works with us.

I take myself and my husband for a PCR as both our LFT’s are negative – his comes back positive, mine negative, however, I can’t smell, I’m coughing like mad and feel terrible. (Apparently this is common if you are a over 4 days into getting the infection, the PCR won’t show you have it! – did you know that?)

I push on working myself through the week – getting worse feeling tired, headache, coughing started the following Wednesday in vain. But I could still function.

Then my other step son who lives with us – I don’t feel well Jules. – another LFT negative (so he could still go to school! But not on my watch) of to another PCR we go and just 3 hours later it is back positive! ?

OK so the three of us have it – I had already banned my husband to self-Isolation in a separate room, now my other step son was banned to his room too – I kept going making food, drinks and taking up medicine, letting the dogs out in our garden and working.

Until last Friday when I could not move – get to the toilet or even compute a TV program – I slept though the day but could not breath at all via my nose and using Vicks I had no idea if it was helping or not – I can’t smell!

Torbay council were constantly calling – but I could not answer, talking was hard and thinking was not possible. Being a business owner and Director, people were demanding information and needed agreement on things.?For the first time in 3 years, I had to block any contact and say NO!

I put up an out of office saying leave me alone I have Covid!

During the nights I could not sleep as I could not breath through my nose, I was alone in the Dark – literally, reading the process, checking my Oxygen (down to 93) thinking this is it, this is how I am going. I was more worried daily about my mum who has not had any symptoms after the ten days – thank goodness!

I was looking at the governments polices on school and that if a child has had it, they don’t need to let anyone else know – I was devastated on how stupid that is! – especially when after my call from Torbay council about my step son they said – yes, its rife at that school we have been getting loads! (at least we know the source!)

I started to order food for my family if I died, I started to go over my Will, I had the phone ready to call 999, and the more I got anxious with this alone the more I became unwell and could not breath. I told my husband through the door at one point “I’m scared I don’t think I’m going to make through this” luckily, I have and I will say it can only be because of the vaccinations. I would not wish this evil illness on anyone.

I am still shattered – still slowly developing – still angry with systems – still anxious (but not as much) embarrassed I felt like this being such a strong person so for vulnerable individuals I can completely empathise you’re not alone and it does get better. ?

I am Glad to be back at some level of work and grateful for a number of factors: -

1.??????Being here

2.??????Being able to work and enjoy what I do

3.??????Being able to say I was anxious and scared – something I would not have done in the past

4.??????Now being able to tell family I had it like my son (who told me of for not telling him)

5.??????For having the real friends and family who genuinely care

But more than anything for having such a capable and able team of people in my business who can keep things going, support and assist and really show how lucky I am! Also, for the care teams who during all this horrific process held hands with these lonely people – for Remembrance Day this year I will be saying a prayer for all those who have died from this and to all those invaluable care and NHS workers who really are walking Angels.

THANK YOU ALL?