Covert Narcissist. 10 Signs You Dated One.

One of the most common themes I hear from my clients is how stupid they feel because they didn't know they were dating a Narcissist, until it was too late.

Now they have kids, a mortgage, shared bank accounts, bills only in the other person's name, shared friends - and so much more they feel to lose.

The difference between OVERT Narcissists and COVERT Narcissists is simple. One can be more recognizable than the other.

When I think about the difference between the two, the Overt Narcissist.. is over the top. They are louder, more self indulged, often overly confident and ego focused.

With the Covert Narcissist.. I like to think of them as someone who is good at manipulation, but through victimisiation. This person knows how to manipulate others and get what they want, by making you feel sorry for them.

So today I wanted to give you my 10 signs to know you may be dating a Covert Narcissist. Now if YOU fit some of these, don't stress - this does not mean that you are 100% a Covert Narcissist yourself. If you want to know more, you can reach out to me.

First things first, you were NOT meant to know straight out that, that particular person is a Narcissist. They are extremely good at concealing their true identity, and in some cases don't show their true colours until years later.

Especially with Covert Narcissism, the manipulation can emerge in more manipulative ways, such as:

• "I will hurt myself if you leave"
• "I can't live without you"
• "If you leave me, I will be homeless"
• "It is/will be your fault...."
• "I'll freeze our assets if you leave me"
• "I'll stop paying you Child Support if you don't let me see the kids."

What has a Covert Narcissist said to you?

So here it is, 10 Signs You Dated A Covert Narcissist

1. Love Bombing: They say the L word too soon in the relationship, often bombing you with compliments and affection that seem way too much.
2. Substance Abuse: May have substance or alcohol use, but hide it well or deny they do not have a problem when they do.
3. The Crazy Ex: They claim to have an ex that is nuts. Don't most of us? They are insistant that it's his/her fault and that they are crazy AF.
4. Charming at first: They were charming, gorgeous, their beauty and awesome personality drew you in. Now the only time you see this is if you are out and about with friends, their whole personality changes when you're alone.
5. Uses Victim Mentality: It's always the fault of others, and they are to blame. They never take responsibility, and they always want you and others to feel sorry for them.
6. Passive Aggressiveness: Displays signs of being passive agressiveness.
7. Puts You Down: Will put you down to make themselves look or feel better.
8. Comparing themselves to others: Always comparing themselves to others, and talking about it.
9. Craving attention from others: Always wanting and craving attention from others. This can even be by engaging in self harm behaviour.
10. Turns insecurities onto others: When they are insecure, they make sure others know about it, voice it, and can project them.

So how about you, did you date a Covert Narcissist?

You can visit my psychology Today Profile Here to reach out for counselling:

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