Of course, you can..."Have your cake and eat it too!" - Part I

I recently celebrated my 2nd anniversary of my 30th Birthday – yep that’s right!... reached the Big Six-Oh. It’s fairly simple for me to view my life as up-to-30 and then 30-to-60. Those first three decades were spent learning the basics about myself, my values and my family/community, identifying my strengths, realizing what kind of life I wanted to build, exploring what was most important to me. The next three decades were consumed by being a parent, being a professional, being an active participant in my community. Naturally, it’s not entirely that tidy, but in a lot of ways my first 30 were about “becoming” and my next 30 were about “being.”

While in Phoenix recently to celebrate this mystical milestone in life I was moved by the realization that my entire life I’ve been blessed with people who sincerely love me for “who I am not what I am” (if you know me you know it’s difficult to take all the questions at times) – more importantly they’ve served me great tasting birthday cake throughout my entire life. What was even more of a revelation was that I’ve been having my cake and eating it too given the unbelievably fantastic experiences that have come my way these last sixty years. Yeah there’s been disappointment, exhausting hard work and unexplained failures at times but Man what a great taste of love, great times and encouragement I’ve had!! Truly treasures of a full life.

My life is such a BIG cake! I realized in the backyard of my son Evan Michael’s and Daughter-In-Law Katie’s loving home that my cake will never be completely eaten to the point it’s gone. The meaningful personal surprises they showered on me those couple of days and the thoughtful planning of this celebration truly made me realize that I will always have my cake and will be eating it too…for a long time. Why am I so certain? Cause that weekend they pulled me out of my fast-paced, stressful work life and magically enabled me to witness the dots of my life’s purpose connecting.

It was truly the sincere, loving joy I felt in that peaceful suburban Phoenix backyard that magically jolted me into reflection – the dots finally started connecting. From compassionate parents I didn’t listen to enough, to teachers who cared enough not to quit on me, to childhood friends that stuck by me, to an incredibly adoring high-school sweetheart who bet on my dreams and has stuck it out with me for 35 years as my wife, four adoring kids who are bring exceptionally loving life partners into all our lives, my eccentric brother who I fell more in love with at 53 (No – it wasn’t because his Partner is my “stylist” and I love him just as much), to the inquisitive minds of my Georgetown Exec MBA classmates that exposed me to learning I never had experienced before (at the age of 49), and to a couple of mystics that have passed through my life – the question has always been was there enough cake? The hundreds of career com-padres and those select few respected mentors plus the skeptic wisdom of adversaries also gave me cause for pause – would the cake be gone if it’s eaten?

Yes, once you take the first bite there’s risk that the cake could ultimately be gone however what I’m learning at this point in life is, if you share the cake with those that love you it’s very likely you’ll be eating cake forever – they will no doubt make their cake your cake. Try it and let me know how it plays out…

Paulo Coelho, in The Alchemist tells us; “Remember that wherever your heart is, there is where you will find your treasurer “– totally true. My treasure is in my cake. My purpose is to live to provide the ingredients that get baked into the cake – nurture the people I love so they keep baking cake. Thus, there will always be cake. Ironic that all these years in the food business that it comes back to the celebration of food!

So…what does that mean for the next 30?

I’ve got some thoughts on that coming up in Part II but I am breathless to witness it. I can tell you what 60 years of living really teaches – it teaches that there is so much MORE LIVING to do.

Stay tuned and stay hungry! #KaliOrehxi!

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