#118: Course Topics: "Applications of Assertiveness"

Introduction

In today's "People Skills" newsletter, we're looking at a set of skills that are needed by every single person who wants to succeed in their work and build positive relationships with others.

The skill is Assertiveness and the topic is the "Applications of Assertiveness".

In today's world of work, many of us find that, in working with others, whether our seniors, colleagues, or those who report to us, we are not always able to be our true authentic selves.

We may feel awkward at being praised; angry at being criticised; guilty at having to say "No" to someone; embarrassed at admitting mistakes; or scared to stand up and say what we really think.

But we don't have to be like this.

We can, by using a range of assertiveness skills, handle any of these situations and come out of them feeling good about ourselves and others.

So, here are 15 topic slides that will show you exactly how you can learn to do that...

01. Everyday Assertiveness

The following are examples of everyday situations which offer the opportunity to use assertiveness...

02. Handling Praise

It is natural to feel pleased when we are paid a compliment from people we care about but we should always remember that they are only the views of others and that such views can always change.

03. Killing Compliments

These are four ways to kill a compliment that someone has just made to you...

04. Positive Enquiry

Positive enquiry and positive assertion are simple techniques for handling praise and compliments. Positive enquiry asks the compliment-payer for more details about what they liked.

05. Handling Criticism

When we are harshly or unfairly criticised, it is tempting to either hit back at the critic or find someone else to blame. If we do neither of these, we may end up blaming ourselves and feeling bad...

06. Negative Enquiry

Negative enquiry and negative assertion are simple techniques for responding to criticism and judgment. Negative enquiry replies to the critic by asking for more details about what they didn't like, while negative assertion agrees with some or all of the criticism...

07. Saying No Without Guilt

We all find ourselves occasionally in situations where we say "Yes" to others when we really want to say "No"...

08. Assertive No's

The following are some tips on how to give firm and assertive "No's" when others make demands which we want to turn down...

09. Social Poise

Overcoming shyness and acquiring poise requires an assertive way of thinking together with the techniques of social manners...

10. Admitting You're Wrong

It is fear of the consequences of "owning up" that leads many unassertive people to hesitate about admitting mistakes...

11. Disarming Anger

Anger is the way people respond to situations in which they feel they have been threatened. It can be slow and seething or sudden and violent. Either way, it is not how an assertive person should react to any situation...

12. Defusing Anger

These are the six steps to calming an angry person down...

13. Getting in Touch

The aggressive and passive points of view see the world as hostile and competitive. Other people are there to be beaten or to beat us...

14. Self-Esteem

We are all children of the universe, born equal and with the same assertive rights. Our self-esteem does not change because of who we are with or because of what we do...

15. Expressing Feelings

When we express positive feelings assertively, we need to combine simplicity and sincerity. When we express negative feelings assertively, we need to combine simplicity and courage...

What Next?

If you have worked through each slide in this set of topics, you will now have a great resource to help you think, act, and behave assertively.

Now's the time to build on what you've learnt.

With over 22,000 learning resources on our 6 websites, with 2 sites offering free downloads, you can now take charge of your own learning and apply what you have learnt in your work and day-to-day life.

With regular daily practise, reflection, and review, you will be amazed at how quickly the skills will become second nature to you which in their turn will increase your personal confidence in practising this skill.

Well done and good luck!