Of course other people can change us

We hear a lot about how “no one ever changed their mind because of a Facebook post”, something that I’ve disagreed with for years. While it’s very unlikely that a Facebook post will change my mind, if someone that I trust and respect posts something contrary to my beliefs, I will dig in to understand their viewpoint. Perhaps I’ll change my mind and be less wrong than I was before. Win!

Many people still don’t think it’s possible, but it’s clear that other people can quickly change how we think. From the book “Big Potential“:

“I find it so odd when people nod vigorously at the idea that you cannot change other people— and yet five minutes later talk about the toxic effect of negative people in their lives or workplaces. If your day can be ruined by an angry email from a client, a rude encounter with a neighbor, or a bad interaction with your manager, why is the opposite not equally true? Why can’t the interactions with the positive people in your life make your day better and the choice to flourish easier?”

They weren’t talking as much about changing ideas as they were about changing attitudes, and I love it! The author also shares a great example of exactly how to do that, and it’s one that hit pretty close me (because I’m bad about doing this). He says:

As the brilliant researcher who also happens to be my wife suggested in Broadcasting Happiness, you can set the tone by creating a “power lead” to short-circuit a negative encounter. Try not to start your phone calls with “I’m so swamped” or “What a week. Is it Friday yet?” Instead, start with a breath and say “It’s great to talk to you,” or “I’m so excited about our work together.”

Just that bit of positivity can change an entire conversation. People can change you, but you can also change them, so efforts to push things in a positive direction can be awesome for everyone.