The Courageous Coward

The Courageous Coward

The Courageous Lion: a mindset that is not deterred by danger or pain. The Cowardly Lion: a mindset lacking the courage to do or endure dangerous or unpleasant things.

"Live with a courageous heart", I say! "Live a life aligned with your values", I say!

I preach these words daily...hell, I did a TEDx Talk about them and what they mean to me and why you should believe in them too. The truth is, I am scared shitless, and yet at the same time, I also feel courageous AF. Fear is something I experience on a daily basis.?Every day when I wake up, I go to war with the voices in my head fighting for control.

Here's the thing about fear...without it...without pain...without danger...without crisis...courage cannot exist.?Actually, the Japanese define crisis as danger and opportunity.

Every day when you wake up, you have the opportunity to let the chaos in your head be a an excuse to play it safe, stay in bed, and avoid any potential threats or get the f*c!k up and embrace the opportunities that the day will offer you.?I can say, with confidence, that I have had a pretty epic record of getting out of bed and defeating some badass dragons over the years. I can also confidently say, that I have had a record of hiding under the blankets terrified of the monsters that may be lurking in the shadows.

Without Fear, Courage Cannot Exist.

Guess what??Neither situation comes without pain and suffering.

Having the courage to face adversity means being willing to not be deterred by the danger and pain; however, you will feel it...it's how courage is birthed.?It's a place where extraordinary growth happens and a new mindset of what is possible is created.

Hiding under the warmth and safety of your blankets is only avoiding danger and pain; however, you will still feel the pain of inaction while hearing the footsteps of your fears not far behind you as you nervously navigate through the day.?That is being a coward, and it's a slow painful existence.?You will limit your potential dangers, but you will greatly limit your potential growth and joy.

Crisis = Danger and Opportunity

Here's another fun belief (more sarcasm)...both scenarios will create hurt, discomfort, pain, and anger for others.?Your choice, whether action or inaction, will impact others.?The biggest difference in my opinion, is that being a coward hurts others more, but the coward's story says that they are sparing others from hurt by choosing inaction and taking on the hurt themselves...your classic passive-aggressive martyr. BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!

I have been a coward and I have been courageous...sometimes at the same time!?There have been many chapters of life for me where there have multiple challenges I have been faced with and in one challenge, I am bulletproof to the fear and adversity, and there may be another where I am crippled with fear and telling myself that I am unable to handle it...that it's just too much to face.?Both experiences have come with pain, suffering, and tears; however, being the coward is a personal commitment to chronic pain and suffering which will eventually bleed into every area of my life.

Your Inaction or Action Will Impact Others

This duality challenges my confidence at times with a cruel self talk: "who the hell do you think you are serving other people to live with a courageous heart, when you have chosen to be a cowardly victim on so many occasions?"

Being a coward is a personal commitment to chronic pain and suffering.

My response to this voice is: "I am more than qualified to serve others in finding their courage, because eventually I have always found a way to do the right thing and defeat the monsters in the closet!".

It's messy AF.?I have fought so many battles and then found myself stuck in certain chapters of the journey...terrified and ashamed.?Sometimes I have dug deep and fought my way through and other times it has felt like 40 years suffering in the desert until I have ditched all the excuses that I allowed to plague me and worked up the courage to do that right thing and slay the giants.

I know that my moments of being a courageous lion and being cowardly lion have hurt people in the process; however, the courageous moments also lift me up to new levels of what's possible and can also help others along the way.

It saddens me deeply to know and see people I have hurt through my chapters of being the cowardly lion.?I have so many excuses I would love to use to justify those moments, and believe me, I have tried to use them and it never feels right...it's just a way of telling someone not to be angry or disappointed in me because I might have a valid excuse.?I have to accept that in those moments, my excuses don't mean shit...only my actions do.

The courageous lion takes accountability.?They understand that they will not always do things right, but they will never stop making things right.?They don't use excuses and when they ask for forgiveness, it is not conditional - forgive me please but I only acted that way because (inset lame ass excuse).

Your Excuses Don't Mean Shit...Only Your Actions Do!

One thing the cowardly lion needs to understand is that they do not need to find courage, they already have it, but they have to believe in it and they have to be hungry enough to access it...no one can make you do it...you have to want it.?It's never too late to be a courageous lion.

It's Never Too Late to Be a Courageous Lion

There is no shame in being stuck or being afraid; however, there is nothing noble or courageous in living in that space for extended periods of time. I have learned this the hard way on so many levels in life.

There is also no shame in asking for help.

Here are a few forms of support that may serve you:

*Friend *Mentor *Life Coach *Therapist *Prayer *Faith Community *Group Work *Magic 8 Ball (kidding...but it doesn't hurt)

I believe in stacking the deck.?I like to seek out support in multiple forms.?It takes a village and no one should climb a mountain alone.?Sometimes even asking for help can feel like a journey as fear can entangle ones' mind into a dark shit abyss unable to see beyond ones' self.?In the end, I see asking for help as a courageous move.?The next courageous move is what you choose to do with that help.

It takes a Courageous Lion Mindset to Ask for Help.

There are things in my life right now where I see the cowardly lion showing up, and there are things in my life right where the courageous lion is showing up.?It's a battle...I do the work...I push...I fail...I fall...I hurt...I get back up...I get back up...I get back up...I will go through this process until I get it right.

I am courageous enough to admit these things, and I am courageous enough to serve others with the skills, lessons, and experiences I have learned along the way.?I am courageous enough to ask for help when I need it.?I am courageous enough to ask for forgiveness.

I have learned to appreciate my experiences as the cowardly lion as it has allowed me to connect with others who are on a journey to find a their courageous side. It makes me appreciate and value my courageous moments so much more.

Learn to appreciate your experiences. There is no value in being ashamed of your past. The only failure is choosing not to learn from your lessons.

What lion mindset are you giving energy to right now?

If you feel like you are stuck in crisis, chaos, fear,?shame, sadness, rage...you are not alone...you are never alone.?No matter how cowardly you may feel, the most courageous step you can take is asking for help.

Love, Matt

**Personal Note: I wrote this for me. I often find writing to be very healing and helps me clearly articulate my experiences in a way where I may learn something new about myself. I also have the wisdom to know that my experiences are not just my own. I write in hopes that maybe someone else will feel like I wrote it for them and it will serve them well.?That is my prayer.

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