The Courage to Walk Away

Twenty years ago, I found myself working at a delivery company, a job that once provided for my family and seemed like a good fit. But as the years passed, the demands grew, and the satisfaction waned. The job began to take a toll on my mental health, eroding the foundations of my marriage and ultimately leading to a painful divorce. For the next seven years, I was a single father to four incredible children, carrying the weight of decisions made and lessons learned.

Flash forward to the present. I once again found myself in a position that had changed over time—a job I once loved and cherished had transformed into something unrecognizable. The values and sense of purpose that initially drew me in were overshadowed by changes that no longer aligned with who I am today. I felt the walls closing in like I did all those years ago, and I realized that something had to change.

As a counselor, I often speak to clients about the importance of authenticity. I remind them of the scripture that says, "Do not give what is holy to the dogs, nor cast your pearls before swine" (Matthew 7:6). This powerful message speaks to the idea of protecting your worth and not giving your best to situations or people who do not appreciate it. Yet, here I was, staying in a relationship with my job that no longer suited me, honored my values, and no longer brought me fulfillment.

In my work, I've studied and admired experts like Dr. John Gottman and Jim Rohn. Gottman, a renowned marriage expert, speaks to recognizing when a relationship has become toxic. He advises that sometimes, the best way to protect your well-being is to walk away and stop investing in something that no longer contributes to your growth or happiness. Similarly, a motivational speaker, Jim Rohn, emphasized the importance of surrounding yourself with people and environments that uplift you, not drain you. He famously said, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." This wisdom applies to people and the environments and jobs we choose to engage with.

Breaking up with a job can be as challenging as ending a toxic relationship. Both require the courage to admit that things have changed, that the situation no longer serves your best interests, and that staying will only lead to more harm than good. The fear of the unknown, the comfort of familiarity, and the hope that things might improve can keep us stuck in situations that slowly chip away at our mental health and well-being.

Reflecting on my past and present experiences, I realized that I was not being authentic by staying in a job that no longer aligned with my values. I was giving what is holy—my time, my energy, my talents—to something that no longer deserved it. It was time to practice what I preach and make a clean break.

Now, please reflect on your life. Are there situations, jobs, or relationships that no longer suit you? Are you holding on to something that is preventing you from living authentically and fully? Many of the people I see in my counseling practice are struggling with these very issues, afraid to break up with situations that no longer serve them.

Could you take a moment to evaluate where you are and where you want to be? It takes courage to make a change, but the freedom and fulfillment that come with it are worth every step. Surround yourself with people and environments that uplift you, and never be afraid to walk away from what no longer suits you. Your mental health, your happiness, and your future depend on it.