The Courage To Let Go...

I think I have learned how to "let go" of many things since the death of my husband and daughter in 2004. "Death is the great equalizer." It is something we all will face. Yet, it is still hard for me to comprehend that I was 29 years old when my husband Brian and daughter Brittany were killed. Reaching acceptance wasn't easy.

This year, both of my two surviving daughters will marry their best friends. This past week, my youngest daughter Amber went first. It's not very often that I am without words, but watching Amber walk down the aisle by herself with her daddy's ring tucked close to her, tied neatly to her bouquet, left me without words. Walking down the aisle alone was her choice, and I think it displays the courage she has embraced since her life was forever altered at the age of 5.

With all that was in me, I didn't want to let her go. I can't explain it. What do you call the grief of a bereaved mom who watches her daughter walk down the aisle 18 years later? I genuinely don't know.

Five years after my husband and daughter were killed, I began speaking. Within years I was speaking across the state of Colorado, and in 2016 I created two programs; Call For Back-Up and Dare You To Move. A lesson buried within both of those programs is something that many wrestle with when facing trauma, grief, and mental health battles.

The lesson? What is the difference between surrender and giving up? What does it take to Never Give Up? When I am working with clients, I share an analogy of wanting to grow something, possibly corn or flowers, and all the efforts required to bring that to fruition. I also talk about this in my book, From The Deepest Darkness To The Light of Hope. Did you know that Amber wrote the foreword for my book? For me, this is priceless...

Surrender happens after you have done ALL THAT YOU CAN- and the only thing left to do is endure through the seasons and wait until your hard work produces what you have been waiting for. Some call this faith...

Giving up is putting in half the work, not taking care of the soil, expecting your efforts to produce a crop overnight, and in turn- you walk away before your crop even has a chance to grow.

To summarize, growing through grief requires endurance, the right strategies, knowledge, and the courage to not give up.

Understanding the difference between when it's time to surrender (after you've done all you can do) and giving up can make all the difference. This work is done inward, and it's personal growth and wellness at its finest.

This past week I had to take a deep breath and realize that I had put in all the hard work, and now I had to surrender and let go. But still, all I can think is- "I don't want to, I don't want to let her go... "Have I done enough?"... "Can we ever really do enough?"?

Possibly I won't have to let her go; perhaps I'm entering a season, one in which I will see things grow that I've never seen before. Maybe the blending of lives will produce flowers I've never seen.

Regardless, you can be sure that I will be digging deep for my courage.

If you are facing a season of change, pain, grief, or hopelessness - "Borrow My Hope"

Let's face the adversity together. You don't have to go it alone.

@britnigirardphoto thank you!

About Jennifer Tracy

Jennifer Tracy has shared her message of HOPE with countless thousands... she is a highly sought-after author, transformational speaker, life coach, and mental health advocate. Jennifer began her career as an inspirational speaker five years after the death of her husband and daughter in 2004.

Drawing from decades of lived experience, she shares a message of HOPE, provides practical insights, and inspires others to find the courage to overcome some of the toughest challenges we face today; depression, grief, PTSD, anxiety, and even suicidal ideation.

In her book, From the Deepest Darkness to the Light of Hope, Jennifer lets down her guard in her uniquely brave and beautiful way, to allow those who are suffering inside her mind as her story lights the way to what is possible, despite the impact of multiple traumatic life experiences.

Jennifer has been featured in the media – on multiple news channels, in newspapers, and in other outlets. The Colorado Department of Transportation honored Jennifer and her daughters on the Colorado Rockies Field for her speaking efforts. Her story of forgiveness has also reached a national audience through the Good Housekeeping Magazine.

To learn more go to www.jennifrtracy-inspire.com