Courage Every Day

It was just after 2:00am. I was on-duty as a police officer and the shift had been relatively quiet to that point. As I sat in my squad car, I was dispatched to an apartment complex only a few blocks away. According to the 911 call, one of the apartments was on fire. The two-story building looked fine from the back and side as I approached, but from the front side, I could see that one of the ground-level units was on indeed on fire. Smoke was pouring out of the front door, which was standing open. I could see flames from somewhere inside.?

After letting my dispatcher know the condition of the building, I started evacuating other apartments by banging loudly on their entry doors. It was important to evacuate as many people as possible, especially the units located above the fire. Nearly everyone got up and out of their units quickly. A moment later, I arrived in front of the apartment on fire, crouching low to see inside around the smoke that filled the interior. I was able to see a woman lying on a couch in the living room, some 20 feet away. She was not moving.?

I yelled to my beat partner, who had arrived on scene by that point. He joined me at the door of the apartment and I told that someone was inside. I remember thinking that I knew that I could hold my breath for about a minute, and that we’d need less than that time to get in, pick her up, and get out. I asked “Are you ready?” My partner said nodded and we went in.?

As we got to the living room, I could see that it was the kitchen that was on fire, only a few feet from the woman. An entire wall of the kitchen was covered in bright yellow sheets of flame. I could feel the heat of that room as it was engulfed and thought “This is a really bad place to be.” My partner and I were able to carry the woman out just as firefighters and paramedics were arriving. Thankfully, she lived.?

Many people ask themselves a variation of these questions on a regular basis:?

• Will I have courage when I need it??
• Will I be able to do the tough things when it’s time??
• Am I _______ enough?

We worry about being good enough or smart enough. We feel that they don’t have enough time to accomplish the things that they want to. Some people are buried in work. Some fear losing their teams or not being successful, whatever that is measured in for them. There are leaders who are concerned with their legacy or reputation. Most people rightfully fear performance evaluations, terminations, and relationship conflicts. Perhaps you are suffering from a degree of imposter syndrome. Have you ever lay in bed on Sunday night dreading the inevitability of Monday morning, even if you liked your job??

When you spend time and energy worrying about an outcome or task, there’s a good chance you’re going to work yourself up and develop reasons to avoid that. Flight Syndrome. Some people will try to fight this anxiety by gaining unreasonable or inappropriate control over a situation. You’ve seen many ways in which that can get out of hand as well.?

There are times when courage is required. You’ve seen these moments in movies, like when the hero must leap across a chasm, or the heroine must face a formidable enemy. Most of us won’t find ourselves literally facing down dragons or charging into epic battles, but we will face many situations where some degree of courage is needed. You’ll do it more than you think. You’ve already done it.?

Fortunately, we’re familiar with courage. There are many things in your life that you’ve accomplished that require courage. Think back to the first time you merged onto a highway as a new driver, or when you raised your hand as an underclass student in a lecture hall. Perhaps you jumped into the dreaded “deep end” of a neighborhood pool. Remember a time when you initiated a conversation with someone when you were afraid to. Summoning courage on demand is something you’ve already done hundreds of times, even in they were in low-level situations. And because of that, you know that not every situation that requires courage is created equally. The courage that is required to dash through the rain to your parked car is different than the courage needed to walk into the hospital for a serious surgery. The easy ones are easy. The hard ones require bravery.?

“What does this moment require of me as a leader?”

I like this quote from Michael Hyatt because it helps to de-personalize the situation. It separates the person from the actions that are necessary. It’s like asking “If another person was in your position, what would you tell them to do?” I have asked myself this question in heated, escalating moments where I felt my blood pressure and temper rising and have felt the physical changes of that detachment effect. I have also considered this perspective when faced with a quiet moment and a significant problem to solve.?I often find that the decision I make, or course I take, differs from the one I would have selected when emotions were driving instead of reason.

Going back to the apartment fire: In that moment, I remember being surprised afterward that it was easy to do what was needed. There wasn’t time or luxury to try to talk myself into doing something dangerous, or to have to summon the confidence and courage needed to act. That detachment was critical to being able to do something dangerous and scary in the moment. The detachment was a way to short-circuit the fear.?

It is this same detachment that allows people working in the performing arts to be successful: actors, comics, musicians. The persona that they wear like armor on stage allows them to do something that others see and think “I could never do that.” Some of the most successful and vibrant celebrities are painfully shy introverts. And yet, their public persona, developed over time and exercise, allows them to navigate situations they would otherwise avoid. In some cases, the confidence required in whatever situation you face will be forced or manufactured. In others, it will come from well-earned experience and wisdom that drives a world-view rooted in the belief of a positive outcome.?

There is research behind the power of this belief; this optimism. In a study conducted by the Weizmann Institute of Science in Rehovot (above), it was determined that the frontal regions of the brain were most active when courage was displayed in people. These parts of the brain are typically involved with decision making and memory recall. All the more reason to hear, read, and learn stories about when others achieved great things through bravery and expense of their own courage. As C.S. Lewis wrote: “Since it is so likely that children will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage.” That extends to adults as well. If I have seen someone do something, or hear that it is possible, I will at least have that upon which to build my own foundation of bravery.?

And so, take heart. Know that you will face difficult things in this new year and beyond. Remember that you have done hard things before, and you will do them again. When the moment arrives, find that detachment that will allow you to clearly and effectively navigate the situation. Believe that the experiences you’ve had to this point help fill that well of courage you can draw upon when needed.?Even more so, seek opportunities to practice. Do the hard things. Put yourself out there. Sharpen yourself to be even more capable so that when the moment arrives, you are ready enough to say "I've been here before. I know what this is. I can. I will."

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