The Courage to Be Disliked: A Leadership Mindset for Corporate Success

In today’s corporate world, where networking, performance metrics, and interpersonal relationships dominate, the fear of being disliked can significantly impact decision-making and leadership effectiveness. As HR professionals, we often witness talented employees and leaders struggling to seek approval from colleagues, managers, or stakeholders. The Courage to Be Disliked Written by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, inspired by Adlerian psychology, provides valuable insights that can transform workplace culture, enhance leadership, and improve employee well-being.

The Corporate Dilemma: Fear vs. Freedom

One of the biggest barriers to personal and professional growth in organizations is the fear of criticism. Employees and leaders alike hesitate to take bold decisions, fearing they might offend someone or invite negative feedback. This leads to people-pleasing behaviors, overcommitment, and avoidance of difficult but necessary conversations.

Take the example of Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft. When he took over, Microsoft was known for its rigid corporate culture. However, he courageously transformed the culture by prioritizing innovation over approval. He encouraged a growth mindset, allowing employees to take risks and innovate without the fear of failure. This shift contributed to Microsoft’s resurgence as one of the most valuable companies globally.

Key Lessons from The Courage to Be Disliked

1. Separate Tasks: Focus on What You Can Control

Adlerian psychology introduces the concept of “separation of tasks”, which means focusing only on what is within our control and not interfering in what is not. In the workplace, this principle applies to delegation, performance evaluations, and leadership decisions.

?? Corporate Example: When Indra Nooyi was CEO of PepsiCo, she focused on transforming the company’s portfolio towards healthier products. She faced criticism from investors and traditionalists who feared the change, but she understood that her task was to drive long-term value, not seek universal approval. The result? A healthier, more sustainable PepsiCo that stayed ahead of market trends.

2. All Problems Are Interpersonal Relationship Problems

Workplace conflicts often arise from misaligned expectations, egos, or the need for validation. Many employees worry about what colleagues or bosses think about them, leading to stress and underperformance. Encouraging employees to adopt a mindset of collaboration over competition can improve workplace relationships.

?? Corporate Example: Netflix's famous "No Rules Rules" culture embraces radical transparency. Employees are encouraged to provide honest feedback, even to superiors, without fearing backlash. This creates a high-trust environment where feedback is not seen as a personal attack but as a tool for growth.

3. The Courage to Be Disliked: A Key Leadership Trait

Great leaders make tough decisions that might not always be popular but are necessary for business growth. They are willing to be disliked in the short term for the right long-term results.

?? Corporate Example: Elon Musk, despite being a controversial figure, exemplifies this mindset. Whether it's making tough calls about workforce restructuring at Tesla or setting ambitious deadlines, he prioritizes the company's mission over external opinions. His willingness to stand by his vision, even if it means facing criticism, has led Tesla to revolutionize the automotive industry.

4. Creating a Culture of Contribution Over Competition

The book suggests that happiness comes from contributing to society rather than seeking personal validation. In corporate settings, this means fostering collaborative work environments where employees feel valued for their contributions rather than competing for approval or recognition.

?? Corporate Example: Google’s Project Aristotle studied what makes teams successful and found that psychological safety—the belief that one won’t be punished for mistakes—is the key. When employees feel safe to express their ideas without fear of judgment, innovation thrives.

HR’s Role in Building a Courageous Culture

As HR professionals, we can implement these principles in workplace culture by:

? Encouraging leaders to make decisions based on vision, not popularity.

? Teaching employees not to take criticism personally but as a means of growth.

? Promoting a culture of feedback where open conversations are welcomed.

? Ensuring employees focus on their own tasks and growth, rather than external validation.

? Recognizing and rewarding contributions over competition to foster collaboration.

Final Thoughts

In the fast-paced corporate world, the fear of being disliked can limit leadership potential, workplace harmony, and overall success. The Courage to Be Disliked teaches us that true leadership and professional fulfillment come from standing by our values, focusing on our tasks, and embracing authenticity over approval.

As HR professionals, let’s empower our leaders and employees to have the courage to be disliked—because only then can we create truly?inclusive, innovative, and inspiring workplaces.